Avengers: Words War Ep. 5

Here it is the last part!!! Yay!!! It is very long, but is only the battle, so you can read it quite quick. I will @ the ones who like the last episodes to read it.
@Chronicler @Bionicdeadpool @LTVmocs @JediTimeLord824

It was one of the hardest battles in I ever fought. At that time, I didn’t know any of them but Batman, but now I know them all, so I will use their name.
Vision successfully entered in the warehouse. He went to the basement, where Doctor Fate, the guy with the golden helmet, was using some sort of magic to weak the Secret Avengers.
Vision: Doctor Fate.
Dr. Fate: Where do you know my name?
Vision: I know a lot of things. I need just to look at you, and I understand you. Completely.
Dr. Fate: So you know my first move?
Vision: No, I can’t see the future.
Dr. Fate: Good.
He used his hand to shoot two golden lasers. Vision just intangible and allow the lasers to destroy the wall from his back. It was Vision’s turn. He used the mind gem and shoot a bolt into Dr. Fate’s
Helmet. He felled on the ground. In this time, Ant-Man and an ant were fling to each door to open theme. The Avengers, while Dr. Fate was fighting with Vision, were regains their powers. They saw Ant-Man, and they remained in their cages over all of them were free.
Dr. Fate used his magic and created nine clones of him, who attacked Vision. He used his blot to destroy all of them, but right in that moment, Fate used his lasers and hit Vision right in his chest. He felled on ground.
Dr. Fate: And now, it’s time to destroy you, stupid robot!
But right then the last Avenger was free, and all of them attacked Fate. Their arrows, lasers and bullets defeated him, and he felled on ground, powerless.

Then, all of them ran (or flew) to us. The Justice League members were looking puzzled at them.
Batman: They defeated Doctor Fate!
I looked at the whole team. The Mighty Avengers and the Secret Avengers were assembled again. But we couldn’t celebrate this, because the Justice League started to attack us! To be clear, the Avengers were me, Captain America, Black Widow, Falcon, Scarlet Witch, Vision, Thor, Hulk, Hawkeye, Spider-Man, Black Panther, Daredevil, Deadpool, Wolverine, Ghost Rider, Agent Venom, Ant-Man, the Wasp, Doctor Strange, Captain Marvel, War Machine, Quicksilver and the War Machine, having his legs automated. We were more with 2, but they were more powerful. The Justice League was formed by Superman, Black Canary, Green Lantern, Zatanna, Red Tornado, Batman, Wonder Woman, Blue Beetle, Green Arrow, Firestorm, Aquaman, Doctor Mid-Night, Deathstroke, Cyborg, Flash, Martian Manhunter, Atom, Bublebee, Doctor Fate (yup, he again), Shazam (Actually is Captain Marvel, but we already have one) and Robin. The battle begun.

I immediately saw Batman. At that time, I didn’t have the armor.
Iron Man: Friday, I need the best regular fight-armor yet.
Friday: Yes, boss.
In that time, Batman took some of his boomerangs and threw them to me. I ran, trying to distract his attention, while my suit is preparing.
Batman: What is it, Stark? Are you scared by me?
Iron Man: No, no! I am actually distracting you attention!
Batman: What?
Just in time, my newest armor-Mark 45- entered in the battlefield, and put itself on me.
Iron Man: Time to beat you up.
Batman threw his boomerangs but I destroyed them with my repulsors. He then took a grappling hook and used to stick by a tree. He then jumped in with a force so big, that I entered into a building, where some men were working. When they saw that Batman is approaching by me, they started to throw things in him over I was ready for fight again. Then I flew into him and punched him, making him to fly over a whole building.
Iron Man: The real Bats know to fly.
Then I flew to catch him. Batman didn’t need my help. He used the grappling hook to stick by a building and then jumped in the Battle field. Guess who was the first person he attacked - Captain America. Batman tried to punch him, but Cap used his shield to protect himself. The two started to fight each other, but Batman seemed to win. So I came there, ready to help Steve. Unfortunately, Firestorm and Cyborg attacked us, so we needed to protect ourselves by them, and then attack Batman. When he saw us fighting with them, Batman took a shotgun from his back. He would shot us, when a web took the shot gun from his hands. The spectacular Spider-Man was next to him.
Spider-Man: You know Batsy? I don’t think you will shot somebody!
Batman: You know that bats eat spiders?
Spider-Man: They do? Then come and prove it!
Batman tried to attack Peter, but he shot with a web in his mouth. That was disgusting! We were still fighting with Firestorm and Cyborg, while Spider-Man was shooting webs in Batman.

Bruce was running through the battlefield, when Superman saw him.
Superman: Civilian! Keep running! We will defeat this fake heroes!
Banner looked at him. Then, Superman saw his green eyes.
Banner (While his skin was becoming green): You… won’t… defeat…
Then he became Hulk.
Hulk: THE HULK!!!
He punched Superman so hard, that he flew threw a sky-scraper. From the same whole he flew at a very big distance and kicked Hulk, who entered into a truck.
Superman: You are a monster!
Hulk: Good. You made me angry!

Vision flew above us, shooting lasers in the Justice League, when to lasers hit him, and made him to fell on a building. It was Dr. Fate.
Dr. Fate: You couldn’t defeat me by your own.
Vision: This doesn’t mean I can’t, mister Nelson!
Dr. Fate: What, how do you know my name?
Vision: I already told you! I know everything. I am connected at the internet. My Mind Stone can make me read your mind! I know everything about you, mister Nelson.
Doctor Fate’s host started to be scared. As so, Fate started to lose control.
Dr. Fate: Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP!
He shooted two lasers from his hands to Vision, but he protected himself with a bolt from his forehead.

Thor was on the ground. On his chest there was Wonder-Woman’s foot.
Wonder Woman: Surrender now!
Thor: Ne-Never! Mjolnir!
Thor’s hammer flew to him, smashing Diana’s shield. Thor took his hammer, ready to fight.
Wonder-Woman: What an unusual weapon!
Thor: More powerful than your sword!
Thor raised his hammer, making giants bolts of lightning to fell on earth. Diana tried to protect herself, but the thunders were too powerful, and one hit her. She felled on ground, unconsciousness.

I and Captain defeated the two heroes, but a giant green fist punched Captain America, smashing him.
I and Spider-Man were in front of Batman and Green Lantern.
Iron Man: Two vs. two.
Spider-Man: Understand.
He started to run, distracting Green Lantern’s attention. Batman jumped and hit me in my chest with his leg, making me to fell on ground. I used my repulsors and shoot him.

Spider-Man was fling threw some buildings, running by Green Lantern, but then the Lantern appeared and formed an Green fist who kicked Spidey so bad, that he entered in an apartment. Green Lantern though that he is defeated, when he saw something unbelievable: Spider-Man was on a sofa, looking at an old serial on TV.
TV: Spider-Man, Spider-Man
Does whatever a spider can.
Spin his web, any size
Catches thieves, just like flies.
Spider-Man closed the TV.
Spider-Man: You know what is interesting? There are many, many shows about a teenager! He jumped in the green lantern, attacking him.

Thor saw a Flash running. He summoned his lighting and almost hit Flash, but he ran just in time.
Flash: Easy there, Zapy!
Thor did it again, with no effect.
Robin was fighting with the Winter Soldier, loosing.
Deadpool was on a building, fighting with Deathstroke.
While Shazam and Captain Marvel were fighting, they saw me be thrown by Fire Storm.
Green Lantern create a giant Machine Gun and started to fire in Spider-Man. Venom helped him, by attacking the green hero.
Quicksilver was on a car and was drinking soda. Then he saw Black Canary using her voice to attack Black Widow. He used his crazy speed and turned the Black Canary around, making her to attack Zatanna, who was fighting with Scarlet Witch. In addition, when he saw Superman fighting with Hulk, he made him to punch his face. He thought that Superman will fell on the ground, but instead his power make him to enter into a building.
Quicksilver: Didn’t see that coming, right?
Batman and Captain America were fighting hard. I punched Batman as hard as I could, but he dodged the hit.
Captain America: You are pretty powerful son.
Batman looked at him like with an old man.
Captain America: Take that suit and your weapons. What are you?
Batman: I am Batman.
And then punched him.
War Machine was shooting Doctor Mid-Night, when Fire Storm attacked him. He started to fly, knowing that if his armor’s legs are destroyed, he will be doom. Then he was attacked by Flash, who was distracting his attention. Firestorm shooted in his Arc Reactor, and Rhodey felled on the ground. I saw this, and went there to help my friend. With only a single shoot, I took down Firestorm.
Hulk was still fighting with Superman, while Daredevil was protecting him by Green Arrow’s arrows. Hulk punched Superman in the air, and he felled on a street, next to Deadpool and Deathstroke, in a cool position.
Deadpool: Whooo! Super-hero landing!!!
Hawkeye shoot two arrows to Flash, he caught both of them. Then Scarlet Witch used her magic and threw him in the air.
Doctor Strange had an idea.
Doctor Strange: STARK! TO THE TOWER! NOW!!!
I heard him, and I ran to him, while I saw Deadpool doing some cool moves with his swords fighting with both Green Lantern and Deathstroke. Quicksilver saw Flash running to him. He smiled and did the same. The two speedster hit each other at a speed so big, that they made a mini earthquake.
I took Rhodey in my hand and ran to Dr. Strange. We entered in the Avenger Tower and didn’t stopped over in the Assemble Room. I put Rhodney on his wheel chair.
Iron Man: What is it, Strange? You said you have a plan!
Dr. Strange: Yes! I know how to catch Superman! I see he is the most powerful of them all!
Iron Man: Really? How?
Dr. Strange: You will see! I just need him to stay in a place.
Iron Man: This may be a problem.
But right in that moment, Hulk jumped through a window with Superman in his hand and started to hit him by the floor, like how he did with Loki on my balcony.
Iron Man: Oh, this is not a problem anymore.
Superman stood up. He was dizzy.
Strange (whispering): Hulk, come with me! I have a plan!
Hulk and Strange went outside of the room. Before he closed the door, Strange told me to distract his attention. Superman looked at me.
Superman: You. You are the one who brought us here!
Iron Man: Yyyyyyes. I am the guy.
Superman: I am glad you have the armor, because we will fight.
Iron Man: I don’t want to fight!
Superman: What?
Iron Man: Let’s talk about your world. How is it?
Superman: I don’t understand.
Right then I saw that Strange opened the door and levitate to Superman.
Superman: Listen, what do you want?
Iron Man: I am distracting your attention, fool!
Superman: What?
Then he looked back and he saw Strange. Before he could react, Strange opened a portal made of something who looked like glass and Superman entered in it. Then Strange entered too.
Iron Man: Wow.

Superman looked around and saw the same room. He saw me, looking in his direction.
Superman: What are you looking at?
Strange: He can’t see you.
Superman turned around and saw Dr. Strange.
Strange: Welcome to the Mirror World. This is a world exactly like our, with only one exception: nobody can see us.
Superman seemed surprised. He never believed that the magic is so powerful.
Strange: And there is one more difference.
Then the Doctor used his mind and modify the whole reality of the world, making them to be on a floor above a giant battlefield. Streets were appearing and disappearing. The superheroes were fighting while whole building were moving next to them. It was a madness.
Strange: We can modify the reality.
Superman: Get me out of here!
He used his lasers from his eyes to shot Strange. The lasers entered in his chest. Strange looked scared at Superman, and then died, while blood exit from his mount.
Superman: Were this was easy!
Strange: Really?
Superman turned around and saw Strange.
Superman: How…
Strange: Let me present my friend: the Time. I can control the Time itself. So every time when you will kill me I will appear again. And again. And again!

Atom and Bumblebee and Ant-Man and Wasp were fighting on a leaf. Atom couldn’t defeat Ant-Man, so he had an idea how to help the other superheroes. He used a little device from his belt to make himself giant. Everybody looked at him and the first to react was Spider-Man. He tried to distract his attention, while somebody else will do something. He shoot his web to Atom’s face, but he caught it. The he throw it to the ground, and Spider-Man felled on a street. Atom tried to crush him, with his leg, but Spider-Man used his strength and handle giant’s foot above his head.
Spider-Man: I can’t handle it anymore!
And Atom crushed him.
Everybody had a shock. Ant-Man became giant man just in time, and punched Atom, starting a fight. Venom went to Spider-Man. Wolverine was with him. Deadpool shoot Deathstroke in his forevead, to leave him alone.
The three superheroes were around Spider-Man. Wolverine took his hand.
Wolverine: Pete! Peter!
Spider-Man woke up. He was hurt. Badly.
Spider-Man: Guys…
Deadpool: Come one, dude! Don’t die!
Spider-Man: I… I think I can’t stay with you more…
All of them knew what he wanted to say.
Spider-Man: If this was my final round, win this fight… Do it for yourself… Do it… for your friendly neighborhood… Spider-Man!
Then he felled unconsciousness.
Wolverine leaved his hand. He allowed a tear to fall from his eye, but only one! He looked at Atom while he was fighting with Ant-Man.
Venom: He is still alive. Deadpool, bring him to save place.
Deadpool: Got it.
Wolverine (to Atom, even if he didn’t heard him): You made the worst mistake in your live!
Every Avenger looked at Spider-Man. Even Ant-Man stopped the fight to do this. I saw Peter too, on a window. Then I realized that this is only my fault.
Iron Man: What did I done?
I knew what I should do. I jumped through the window, and while I was falling, I said:
Iron Man: FRIDAY! ACTIVATE THE HOUSE PARTY PROTOCOLE!!
Friday: Yes, boss.
I saw every Avenger and Justice League member looked to me. Along with me, every armor was falling, and then all of them started to fly to the battle field. It was a bloody hell. Heroes were clashing each other in order to survive. Armor were fling and shooting everywhere.
In the alternative dimension Strange was fighting with Superman, and every time when he died, another Strange appeared.
Hulk was trying to smash the Blue Bettle who was flying around him, without any success. In the final, he caught his leg and throw him to the nearest building. Thor was using his giant thunderbolts to defeat Shazam, who was dodging them most of the times. Captain America throw his shield to Batman. He jumped above it, but Cap kicked the Dark Knight in the stomach. Daredevil attacked Robin. The kid had no chance.

FINAL ROUND: DEADPOOL VS. DEATHSTROKE
Deadpool: Let’s do this!
Dathstroke: Ughh!
FIGHT!
Deapool attacked Deathstorke with all of the video-games moves he ever did. Then he punched him and Deathstroke went some meters away.
Deadpool: Check this out! My super extra COMBO!
Deadpool took his knife with a string and throw it to Deathstroke’s chest. Then pull it and punched his enemy so hard, that he broke his neck.
PERFECT! DEAPOOL WINS.
Deapool: Seeya later, rip-off!

Green Lantern was kicked with a car by Scarlet Witch. Flash saw this while he was running, and right when he wasn’t careful, Quicksilver came with a very big speed and punched him in stomach. Flesh felled on the street, almost death.
Scarlet Witch: It is too late for you!
She raised every single car from the street and throw them to Green Lantern.
Wolverine was using his claws and climbed on Atom’s giant body, wanting to kill him. He arrived then on his chin.
Wolverine: FOR PETER!!!
He put his weapons in Atom’s nose, without knowing what he was doing.
Atom: MY NOSE!!!
Captain America was punching Batman Hard. Black Widow was shooting in Black Canary. Falcon was fling trying to defeat Wonder Woman. Vison was fighting alone with Doctor Fate and Red Tornado. Hawkeye wanted to shoot in somebody, but Green Arrow jumped on him. Spider-Man was almost dead on a street. Black Panther stolen Aquaman’s trident. Ghost Rider was running on streets with his motorcycle, waking fire around the Justice League. Agent Venom was protecting the Avenger Tower by the Martian Manhunter. Ant-Man was fighting as Giant man with Giant Atom, and Wasp and Bumblebee were doing the same thing, but on another scale. Captain Marvel was shooting everywhere she could.

Doctor Strange was punched hard too. Superman then used his all power to shot his most powerfull lasers ever. Strange used his magic to make a shield, but he lost his concentration and suddenly he awakes in the normal world. Superman was free. He flew above the city, shooting lasers in my armors.
He would tear me apart, when, from the skies, an alien ship appeared. Thor came next to me. They are the reinforcements.
They were the Guardians of the Galaxy. At that time, I never knew them. Their leader, Star-Lord had a bag full of kryptonite and some sort of silver orb. He, I and Thor went to the assemble room, where Doctor Strange apologized and where War Machine was staying where I left him.
Thor: Tony, he is Star-Lord.
Star-Lord: We don’t have time for this. My friends will help you in fight, but I think I know how to stop this war.
Iron Man: How?
Thor: The ancient scroll say that to bring the Justice League back to their world, we need to invert Tessaract’s power.
Iron Man: Let’s do this!
Thor: Your machine is too weak.
Iron Man: Excuse me?
Star-Lord: See this orb?
Iron Man: Inside there is another Infinity Stone: the Power Stone. It will recharge the Tessaract and will make a controlled portal if we replace the battery with this.
Iron Man: Then give me it!
Thor: No, Tony, we have other plans for you. Star-Lord will do this, while you will do something else.

Superman kicked Captain Marvel so hard that she made a crater when she hit the street. Then he took a whole building and threw it to Atom. He the land on a street.
Superman: This is all what you got!
Iron Man (from his back): No.
He turned around, and he saw me in my Hulkbuster suit. It was full of kryptonite. Right before he could attack me, I shooted him with a kryptonite laser. I knew this won’t defeat him too easily. I was just waiting. While my lasers became powerful and powerful, Superman was approaching by me slowly.
Superman: You… Won’t… Defeat… Me!
Iron Man: Of course not! I am just distracting your attention, you idiot!
Superman: Wha… What?

In that time, Star-Lord changed the battery with the orb, and a dazzling purple light surrender the tower, then all of us, then the whole sky. I never saw a portal that big from the Battle for New York! And I never saw a purple one! All of the Justice League member transformed in purple ash. Then they started to fly involuntary to the portal, and then disappeared.
New York was safe.
We were alive.
And 7 streets were destroyed.

Spider-Man was at a hospital. All of us were there. I, Deadpool, Venom, Wolverine and Star-Lord were in his room. The others were on a hallway. He was still unconsciousness.
Iron Man: So, Logan, what are you gonna do now?
He looked at me.
Logan: I won’t be an Avenger, if this is what you want. I wanted only to help you. I will be an X-Man.
Iron Man: This is only your decision. And Deadpool?
Logan: I think he will live his live before this whole war.
Iron Man: Understand.
Deadpool: Shut up! He is awaking.
Spider-Man awaked, looking at us. Then he looked at me.
Spider-Man: We… We won…?
Iron Man: Yes, Peter. You fought well.
Spider-Man: Than…Thank you…!

Second day everything was almost normal. The Secret Avengers were preparing to come to the Avenger Tower once again. Daredevil was the only one from our new recruits who choose to be an Avenger. I, Thor, Captain and Deadpool were in the portal room.
Captain America: So, it seems we saved the world.
Iron Man: Again.
Thor: I will take the Tessaract back to Asgard. There it won’t be able to hurt somebody.
Iron Man: True. But first we need to destroy the portal.
Deapool: This is my job!!!
He took a giant hammer and hit the portal. Then something bad happened.
Friday: WARNING! WARNING! INTERDIMENSIONAL BREACHES CREATED.
Deadpool: Ops… My fault!
Right before I could say something, a portal opened next to us, and a shadow exit from it.
Unknown person: Hmm… This planet seems to be perfect.
Then a red lightsaber opened.
Darth Vader: TO BE CONQUERED BY THE GALACTIC EMPIRE!

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So, I have a very long, drawn out review of the whole series, here:

The Pros, First
The idea of a Marvel vs. DC story is a popular one to mess around with, and you did a good job with that. What most everybody expects out of a MvDC story is a lot of slam-bang, kapow chop action, and I feel like you succeeded in supplying that, at least in the final chapter.
Also, I liked how you made it as sort of a continuation of all the movies that have come out, as that is an angle that I have never seen before. That gave it a very unique feel. Sometimes that style you went with became drawn out at times, especially with Tony dealing with Steve, but I’ll cover that more in the cons.
Lastly, for better or for worse, the writing style you went with was definitely unique too. I haven’t read many stories with that kind of scripted style. In some areas, I feel it actually helped some of the dialogue. In others, well…

The Cons, Last
Now we get to the cons. And, Vladin, I’m sorry to say but there are a few of them.
The biggest problem I had through all the chapters is that a lot of the grammar and wordings are messed up. Some examples from the last episode:

And that is not all of them. Like I’ve said before, I think it would really help to have someone to proofread your stories before posting them. With all of these grammatical errors, it takes people out of the story.
Secondly, I feel the whole reason the Avengers and the Justice League started fighting was lackluster. And by that I mean that there really wasn’t a reason. This is thankfully a con that I think you could fix pretty easily; give a legitimate reason why it’s such a bummer that they were taken out of their dimension, and botta bing botta boom it’s fixed!
Lastly, I feel the characterization and just some of the characters didn’t feel very natural. One other broad problem I found with this is that you just took on more characters then I feel you could handle, which is a mistake many authors make. Because of this, some were shunted to the side, some didn’t seem coherent, and others just plain disappeared from the playing board. The characters I feel suffered from this the most were Batman and Superman, who acted very out of character, in that they were actively trying to kill people who had done nothing to antagonize them. Like I said, I did like some of the characterization, like Tony, and Deadpool (His final fight with Deathstroke was very funny, props to you) but the majority didn’t feel right.

I’ll end this review in some pointers.

  1. I would suggest, if you were write something similar soon, or just going back through and editing this, not having so many characters. Then you could focus more on specific characterization and not have to worry about so many characters getting ignored.
  2. For the writing itself, like I said, I generally liked the scripted format. Sometimes, however, it got difficult to read as it just kind of melded with the rest of the story. To fix this, simply put the names of the speakers in bold. Then they jump out more.
  3. Finally, have a proofreader. Seriously. That would make your story that much easier to read. Your stories have potential, and I hate to see it all go to waste. In fact, if you need one, I’d be happy to oblige.

Do not take this review the wrong way. My intention was to give you pointers and point out the flaws so you make a better story next time.

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“Wards War”

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Fixed.

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How do you make that typo anyway.

You just do. It’s not a big deal.

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