Children of the Crimson Sun [Early Production]

Well, I’m writing a non-comic version of Children of the Crimson Sun (My Bionicle comic I’ve mentioned for a long while) for my Language Arts class. This is a very early and incomplete version. I haven’t even finished Chapter 1! For those who don’t care about spoilers, this is what I have written so far…
Oh! I almost forgot!
#MAJOR SPOILERS INBOUND
Eh. Probably not major, but Spoiler Warning!
This will all be made into a comic in the future. This is just a rough draft.

[spoiler]Children of the Crimson Sun by insert real name here

Prologue, Part I
A crimson glow illuminated the dark shroud of terror in Tuali Village. A haunting fright blinded the men, women, and children. Dread loomed overhead.
“Turaga Tukata! Turaga Tukata!” Vun yelled. “He has arrived.” A silhouette was approaching the main entrance. The pureness of evil emanated off the intruder’s flesh. “Hide as many of the citizens as you can. Go!” Tukata ordered. The Turaga was the only one brave enough to stand strong in the presence of the silhouette. “You have come here for the Krakhaan, haven’t you?” He could see the emblem on the intruder’s cloak. The emblem of the New Order of Makuta. “Yes. If you don’t let me have it, this settlement will burn to the ground with your people in it.”
Vun and his daughter approached the cloaked figure. “That will be the last thing that will ever happen to Tuali Village.” The figure turned around to see Vun’s weapon raised. The Zamor bolt launched from the weapon. “Precisely,” the intruder countered, catching the bolt in mid-air. The bolt was thrown back at Vun. The blazing shot landed in his eye, killing him. “Papa!” the child screamed. This intruder knew Tukata would never give him the Krakhaan, so he kept his promise. He lit the homes on fire, and he disposed of everyone who stood in his way. His blade sliced through the air as the Turaga fell prey to it.
Vun looked up and spoke his final words to his daughter. “S-Suvi. Save yourself. I l-love you, but you have to live.” “I won’t leave you!” Suvi cried. “Goodbye, my sunshine.”
Suvi had not moved a muscle. She and the cloaked man stared at each other’s eyes, and into their souls. There was something odd about this intruder. A look of pity, was it? The figure inched forward, one step at a time. He dropped his blade, and removed his cloak. The aura of anger and evil dissipated. He looked around, and he realized everything. Regret drowned him. He kneeled down and cried. “What have I done? I… I am sorry.” The man reached out his hand. Suvi looked at it, then looked up with tears in her eyes. Within a moment, they were embracing each other. “I will avenge you. I promise.”

Prologue, Part II
In the time before time, legendary heroes of the elements, known as the Toa were sent to many islands across an ancient planet to protect the people from the Makuta and other threats. As heroic as the Toa were, the great spirit Mata Nui defeated the Makuta when the Toa could not. The world was finally at peace, and everything was whole once again.
But now, a new terror rises from the Makuta’s shadow, and the most unlikely of heroes will attempt to stop it…

Chapter I
Ahkmou looked at the stone tablet one last time. “To the island of Kindra Nui, you must go. My former power will fall to you. The mask of shadow, the Krakhaan, lies there. You are my legacy, Ahkmou. You will prevail when I cannot. My life is near its end. I can almost taste it. You will not fail me. The New Order of Makuta shall rise. ~Makuta Teridax.”
The ship was almost there now. Just a few yards to go. As he and his comrades arrived on shore, Ahkmou noticed a dungeon of sorts built into the rocks. Ancient symbols were scattered across the walls. The symbols represented a man approaching a beach, as well as the Krakhaan. This event truly was prophesied. As he entered, he felt something cold brush up against his shoulder. “What was that?” he exclaimed. There was a loud hiss. “You have finally arrived. Welcome, Ahkmou.” “How do you know who I am?” “Makuta told me, but he has died, has he not?” “Yes. I am here for the Krakhaan.” “I’m afraid we don’t have it. It is in Tuali Village.” Ahkmou turned around, his assassins, warriors, and bodyguards behind him. “Hautaka!” “Yes, master?” “Head to Tuali Village and find the Krakhaan.” “On my way, master.”
“Anyways, who are you?” asked Ahkmou. “I am one of the many entities known as the Krakhal. We are a byproduct of the Krakhaan’s creation. We have been expecting you for a long time.” “I was told that I would be given Makuta’s ‘former power’. What do I do?” “All you have to do is stay here and wait for Hautaka to bring back the Krakhaan. It should only take him a day or two. Tuali Village is not that far away.”
A week later, Ahkmou had realized that Hautaka had not returned with the mask. Growing impatient, Ahkmou ventured to get it himself. “I’ll be back, everyone. I’ll find Hautaka and the mask.”
He arrived at Tuali Village. The buildings were on fire, and masks were scattered everywhere.[/spoiler]
I will change a lot of this to make it more clear, as well as to make it spicier. I hope you liked this so far!

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moved to the Literature Category -square

Oh, whoops! Forgot that existed! (How? I don’t know…)