Everything You Wanted To Know About BIONICLE (But Were Afraid To Ask)

Creative Content Literature
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(I’m going to start this off with a short preface: There are four or five different stories from EYWTKAB(BWATA), all of which are presently on BZPower. I thought that maybe some of you on here might get a bit of a chuckle from this, which is why I’m posting it. This is just the first one though. Anyway, enjoy!)

The Ga-Matoran named Kyra was of a curious sort. This wasn’t
necessarily a bad thing; curiosity can lead to knowledge. It can also
lead to one being annoying, which many beings considered her to be.

However, one being tolerated her talkative nature: Turaga Aldo. Aldo was
a wise Turaga, and only tolerated Kyra because he knew living
sacrifices to Mata Nui were frowned upon. So, he answered her questions.

Today’s was an interesting one.

“Turaga,” Kyra asked. “Why are Ga-Matoran, and Turaga, and Toa all female?”

“Because the Great Beings assumed that representing water meant that one
was calm, and peaceful, and they associated females with that.” Aldo
answered.

“Ok. Why are the Great Beings morons?”

“What?”

“Well, have you met females? We aren’t exactly peaceful all the time, or most of the time.”

“What do you mean?”

“Remember when Incy called me fat?” Kyra asked.

Aldo thought for a minute. Yes, he remembered. Another Matoran, Incy, insulted Kyra.
Incy’s home was soon destroyed, along with most of her personal possessions.

Aldo was quiet for a minute, then looked left, then right, as if he was
worried someone was watching him. Then he leaned in close to the
Ga-Matoran.

“Want to know the real reason things in this universe are the way they are?” Aldo asked.

Kyra nodded.

“Well, listen, my…student? Acquantince? Person I talk to. Yeah, listen, person I talk to, to the true legends of the BIONICLE,”

“Wait, of the BIONICLE? We’re breaking the fourth wall now?”

“The truth breaks all barriers,” Aldo said wisely.

Why Ga-Folks Are Female:

In the time long before the time before time, there were powerful and
intelligent beings known as the Great Beings. They were promoted into a
position of power, ruling over the land of Spherus Magna. They soon
decided not to do that, since they were busy being smart, and just gave
power to six random morons known as the Elemental Lords.

It didn’t take long for war to overtake the planet and lead to its
destruction, since the Elemental Lords really sucked at their jobs.

So, the Great Beings decided that, rather than try and make a
superweapon to kill the Elemental Lords or a mind control device to make
everyone stop fighting, they would build a giant robot called Mata Nui
to go explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new
civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before. Then the robot
would come back and fix everything.

While assembling the robot, the Great Beings knew that there needed to
be some beings in the giant robot to make it function, because automated
processes wouldn’t be as profitable for a toy line. Thus were born the
Matoran, all of whom were modeled after elements because…because.

The Great Being asked himself, “Should I give them gender, free will,
and independent thought, which would also create possible rebellions and
internal problems for the robot?” He pondered for a second, and said,
“Totally! This won’t backfire in any way, shape or form!” The he
chuckled to himself, and said he was a genius.

The Great Being weren’t a humble bunch.

So, the Great Being decided on that course of action. The only question was, what colors should genders correspond to?

The Great Being knew this question was too complex for him, so he prayed to the Great God of Canon, Farshtey, for an answer.

“What color should the females be?” he asked.

“Blue,” Farshtey said.

“Why?”

“Because why not?”

Well, that reasoning was good enough for the Great Being. And that’s why Ga-Matoran and all related Ga-Beings are blue.

“That’s what happened?” Kyra asked.

Aldo nodded. “That is truly what happened.”

“That was kind of stupid. I mean, ‘Because why not?’ Really?”

“Do not talk bad about the great god Farshtey!”

“Why not?”

“He might write your romantic relationship out of continuity!”

Kyra seemed confused. “What romantic relationship?” she asked.

“It happened!” Aldo yelled. “Pray for forgiveness! Farshety has been angered!”

And so Aldo ran around the village, yelling that everyone must prepare
for the end times, and to pray for forgiveness, until he was hit with
tranquilizer disks.

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And then Berix was born.

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On the island of Outtacontin Nui, a Turaga named Aldo was being released from the Vezon Home For The Clearly Insane.

“Thanks for getting me out of there,” Aldo said to the Matoran who
helped get him released, Kyra. “It was really weird. There was a
Deadpool wannabe, and a Cthulu knockoff, and some folks claiming to be
robots from some ‘Hero Factory.’”

“Sounds pretty messed up,” Kyra said. “But I have a question for you,”

“Another one? Will this one get me sent to an asylum too?”

“I hope not. I was curious about where exactly new beings and such came from,”

“Hoo boy,” he said. “This is a rather complex one…”

The Gukko and the Fireflyers

To reproduce, beings – like Matoran – must enter a secret cult called
the Order of Reproduction. There, they must partake in bizarre rituals,
such as relationship tests, in which members must determine who is the
stronger one in a relationship. Usually used as an example are Sidorak
and Roodaka. This task is very simple.

Then members must find an Inika torso, and burn it in a ritual of cleansing.

After that, Matoran must then learn the call of Gukko bird, and be able
to repeat it backwards. This is to ensure only the best of the Matoran
gene pool procreates.

After learning the call of the Gukko bird, Matoran must climb to the top
of the tallest mountain on their island and yell, “COOCOOCACHU, COLONEL
SANDERS! I AM THE WALRUS!” The reasons for this are lost to time, and
possible illegal substances.

After saying something that makes them sound like morons, the Matoran
then must replicate the Gukko bird call, and wait for three weeks for
the Birth Gukko to come.

The Birth Gukko then brings the child, a fragile creature made only of lime green parts.

A Matoran attempting this process must carry Pit water with them, for
when the child is brought to the Matoran, the Matoran must douse the
child in Pit water in a literal baby shower. If the baby doesn’t mutate
and die, then congratulations, Matoran, you have a child. Now you must
take care of it. Or just give it amnesia and a tag that says, “HELLO! My
name is Takua!” Then you’re good.

“So that’s how new Matoran are brought into being?” Kyra asked.

“Yes. It is a very strange process, done to ensure only the best of Matoran reproduce,” Aldo answered.

“What about Rahi?”

“What?”

“Rahi. How do they reproduce?”

“Oh. Through normal means of reproduction, of course.” Aldo said, in a
way that made it seem like it should be obvious to everyone.

“And those would be?"
“Things that we can’t discuss on BZPower.”
“Ah.”

(Note: As I said, this was originally on BZPower, hence the final joke)

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Dead pool suits you. Good job.

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Thank you. But I’m not Deadpool, I’m Dorkpool. Bit of a difference.
But, once again, thank you.

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Those were good reads. :smile:

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Thank you! There’s more coming.

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Fixed title–not TMM Legomaster

Anyway, these are humorous reads. Gotta like “Outtaconti Nui”

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I will always be proud of Outtacontin Nui.

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Hahahahahaha. Great job.

Alright, here’s a question for Turaga Aldo:

Since Bohrok were created from Av-Matoran, and some Matoran were rebuilt using Bohrok pieces. Is that cannibalism?

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I doubt that qualifies as cannibalism. More like surgery…

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I thought this was a bionicle section topic and then I saw this and then I was like Whaaa? The title is very misleading

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While I’m more than happy to answer questions, and like that people ask questions (seriously, it makes my life easier since I don’t have to think a question up), I find it’s easier to base a story/anecdote/whatever around a “why” or “how” question. Basically, a question in which the answer is an explanation.
And, to answer your question, not really. Cannibalism is eating members of your species; @Rac basically summed it up pretty well. (Also, I personally think Nuparu using the parts of Bohrok to build Boxors is a tad more messed up)

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“You know, people seem to like this series,” Kyra said to Aldo. They were both sitting around in a café of sorts, just chatting.

“Really? That’s great,” Aldo said.

“I know, because if they didn’t, we’d be stuck in a limbo of sorts
forever, kind of like Gen 1 BIONICLE. Speaking of which, I have some
questions today,” Kyra asked.

“Shoot,”

“What happened to folks who died in Gen 1, and where do skull based villains come from in Gen 2?”

Aldo took out a small device.

“What’s that?” Kyra asked.

“My MNP3 player,” Aldo answered.

“MNP3?”

“Yep. Mata Nui Player 3. It plays music and has built in speakers.

“Why do you have it out?”

“Mood music,” Aldo said, and put on the song “Spooky Scary Skeletons.”

After Death

Usually when a being from the Matoran universe dies, he or she is sent
to the Red Star or, if they’re terrible beings, Karzahni. Granted,
they’re sent to Karzahni to be fixed, but Karzahni sucks at his job, so
it’s punishment. Matoran there have to listen to Karzahni complain about
his brother. It’s terrible.

However, recently, on board the Red Star, the crew known as the Kestora detected something.

“Captain,” one crewmember said. “Reboot ahead!”

On the viewscreen of the ship, a giant portal was shown.

The captain stood up from his classy captain’s chair. “I knew this day
would come,” he said. “Full speed ahead! We’re going into that, and
we’re going to be part of that reboot!”

“But, Captain, we should eject some of the passengers!”

“Why? Do we have anyone who shouldn’t be in the reboot or something?”

“Yes, sir! Toa Lhikan!”

“Why him? Lhikan’s cool,”

“Literally anything and everything having to do with him ends badly,”

“Seriously? Prove it,”

“Well,” the crew member said. “The Lhikan II crashed, Jaller’s
Hau is from is Lhikan and now he’s working for the Skakdi, Lhikan died,
the base he was at was robbed of the Makoki stone…”

“Ok, ok, I get it! Eject Lhikan then!”

“Ejecting Lhikan, sir!”

In the passenger compartment of the Red Star, Lhikan was suddenly shot out of the ship.

“What the Karzahniiiiiiiiiiiii!” he yelled as he was shot out.

He landed on a planet, with his armor and mask being decimated, leaving only a spooky, scary skeleton.

Meanwhile, the Red Star was destroyed by the reboot, since there could
be few to no connections to Gen 1, as decreed by the Great God of Canon,
Farshtey.

Lhikan didn’t know he was a skeleton, and when he saw the new Toa, he was overjoyed.

“Toa!” he yelled. “Thank the Great Beings I’ve met you! I was on some Red Star, and now – ” Lhikan said.

“Quiet, skeleton!” Tahu yelled.

“Skeleton? I’m a Toa. Toa Lhikan!”

“Who?” Tahu asked.

“Hau wearer?”

“What’s a ‘Hau?’”

“The mask you’re wearing, moron.”

“Hah! I’m not wearing a Hau, I’m wearing a…um…I’m wearing a mask, yeah!”

Lhikan facepalmed. “You know what? Just kill me. I’m tired of this Muaka feces.”

“But you’re a skeleton. You’re already dead,” Kopaka helpfully pointed out.

“Aw, come on!” Lhikan yelled.

“So beings go to some Red Star when they die?” Kyra asked.

“Well, they did. Then the reboot happened,” Aldo asked.

“And now?”

“Depends on your religion, I guess,” Aldo said. “For example, I believe
in the Great God Farshtey, and hopefully I’ll be reincarnated into the
next reboot,”

“There’s going to be another reboot?”

“Of course! Haven’t you seen BIONICLE fans? If there’s not another reboot, they’ll burn down Lego’s headquarters.”

(Thank you, fishers64, for your suggestion. And thank you to everyone
else who’ve made suggestions. I’ll get to those soon enough, so don’t
be upset if your question isn’t immediately answered)

(As I’ve mentioned, this was/is on BZPower, and people did/do seem to like it. Also, they’ve asked questions, which I’m fine with and actually encourage, as long as they’re questions that require an explanation for an answer)

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“You mentioned that when you were in that asylum, some beings were talking about a ‘Hero Factory,’” Kyra said to Aldo.

Aldo nodded. “Yes, they were. They were strange beings, who looked rather strange and mechanical. Why do you bring them up?”

“Well, I was curious about what Hero Factory is or was, and how it might relate to BIONICLE?”

“Outside of disappointing most BIONICLE fans? Well…”

Sets of Future Past

The year is 2010. Makuta had finally been defeated. Spherus Magna was
once again whole. It seemed like a good day for the Agori, Glatorian,
Toa, Turaga, and Matoran.

But a new evil was on the horizon.

Long ago, long before the time before time, there was a precursor to
BIONICLE called the Boneheads of Voodoo Island, later known as the
Dooheads. They had faces that would induce night terrors in even the
bravest of children. The Lego designers, realizing the mistake they
made, shelved the Dooheads, and used the basic concept to create
BIONICLE.

The Dooheads, however, survived, and waited, plotting to get their
revenge. And now, with BIONICLE at its weakest, the Dooheads can finally
have it.

They’d managed to escape their imprisonment, and ended up in the Mata
Nui robot. They emerged from the fallen automaton, and their leader,
Flame, yelled, “BIONICLE BEINGS! YOU DAY IS OVER! THE DOOHEADS HAVE
RETURNED, AND WILL HAVE REVENGE!”

Flame’s BIONICLE counterpart, Tahu, stepped forward.

“How?” he asked.

“WE WILL END YOUR TOY LINE, BUT CONTINUE YOUR STORY, THEN END IT WITH MULTIPLE UNRESOLVED PLOT THREADS!”

The crowd that quickly assembled by the base of the robot gasped in horror.

“You monster!” Tahu yelled.

“AND WE WILL CREATE A NEW LINE! A LINE WITH A LESS COMPLEX STORY!”

More gasps were heard throughout the crowd.

“AND A NEW, NON-INIKA BASED BUILDING SYSTEM!”

The crowd started to gasp, then, realizing what Flame said, cheered.

“WHY ARE YOU CHEERING?”

“Because everyone was tired of the Inika build,” Tahu said.

“WELL, UM, WE’LL REPLACE IT WITH CCBS!”

“CCB what?” Tahu asked.

“S. CCBS.”

“Never heard of it.”

“YOU WILL! MWHAHAHAHA!”

“How are you going to do this?” Kopaka, the coldest and most calculating of the Toa Nuva, asked.

Kopaka’s Doohead counterpart, Blade, answered. “MAGIC!” he yelled, firing bolts of lightning and power at the sky.

Everyone seemed rather unimpressed.

“Shouldn’t they be afraid or something?” Blade asked Flame.

“Hey, I don’t get it either,” Flame responded.

“You know we have elemental powers, right? Lightning being among them?” Tahu informed the Dooheads.

“YEAH, WELL, MAGIC!” Flame yelled back.

The Dooheads, realizing their plan to scare and intimidate the being
among the BIONICLE line was failing, decided to speed things up. Soon
only BIONICLE’s story was the only thing continuing, and even then not
for long.

During this time, the Hero Factory replaced BIONICLE. The characters of
the BIONICLE universe knew, and were thinking of how to get free from
their limbo state. A team was sent to find the Mask of Life, with Mata
Nui’s body in it, while others worked to repair the downed Mata Nui
robot.

The team sent to find the Ignika – the remaining five Toa Mahri, plus the golden Skakdi thing – soon came across Mata Nui.

“Mata Nui,” the golden being said (it was agreed that he would talk,
since the Mahri only said how awesome the Skakdi were). “We need you
once more.”

“But I was on my way to a Star Trek: The Next Generation cast reunion.”

“This is more important! The fate of a universe is at stake!”

Mata Nui thought for a moment. Then, he came with the group.

Soon the arrived at the newly fixed Mata Nui robot. Mata Nui took
control of it, tracked down the Dooheads, and destroyed them. Hero
Factory soon died, but the magic the Dooheads used ended up
restructuring reality, and causing a reboot. Mata Nui was sent back to
the Ignika, and flew through space until he reached the Star Trek: The Next Generation cast reunion. So it all worked out pretty well in the end.

Back in the present, on the island of Outtacontin Nui, Kyra asked, “So the Dooheads are dead?”

“Yes. Thank the Great Spirit too, since have you seen those things?” Aldo responded.

“No, I can’t say I have.”

“Look them up.”

Kyra did so, and, a few minutes later, saw the pictures.

She didn’t sleep well for many weeks after viewing them.

(Thank you, Petewa, for your suggestion, and pointing out that I had
moronically posted “After Death” twice. And, once again, thanks to
everyone who said they liked this little series, and gave suggestions.
Like I said, I’ll get to everyone’s questions soon enough)

(Ok, so when I originally posted “After Death,” I accidentally did it twice in the same post. It was a stupid mistake, which was helpfully pointed out. It’s fixed now, but I should mention it since I spoke of it in the original post. Also, the Dooheads are really creepy looking. They haunt my nightmares)

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The Matoro Memorial. Most every island or city has one of these, to
commorate the sacrifice made by the Toa Inika/Mahri of Ice, a sacrifice
which ended up leading to Makuta taking over the body of Mata Nui.

Kyra and Aldo were visiting it today.

“Hey, why did Matoro have to die?” Kyra asked.

“What do you mean? To save the universe,” Aldo responded.

“No, I mean why him in particular. Why Matoro instead of Nuparu, or Jaller?”

“Well…”

Dead on Arrival

The Toa Inika and the Matoran Resistance had met up. They were
discussing ways to take down the Piraka, free the island, and get the
Mask of Life.

After Garan had brought up a plan, Velika responded with, “The Tarakava only eats at midnight,”

No one had any idea what it was he meant. However, Matoro decided to respond.

“You’re a strange little being,” he said. “Are you alright in the head?”

After the meeting had disbanded, Velika, still angry about Matoro’s
comments, found the 777 staircase to the Mask of Life, and started going
down them.

Soon, he met Umbra.

“Halt. I am Umbra. I guard the Mask of Life,” the wheel-footed guardian said.

“Yeah, I know. I’m a Great Being. I need to see it,” Velika responded.

“How do I know you’re a Great Being?”

“Well, if you don’t let me pass, I’ll use my Great Being powers on you,”

Umbra just stared at the Matoran. “The Great Beings have no powers,” he said.

“Exactly,”

Umbra, getting tired of this nonsense, let Velika pass.

After taking some shortcuts, Velika soon arrived at the Chamber of the
Mask. In the Chamber were Vezon and his giant spider, Fenrakk.

“Hello there, little Matoran. What are you doing here? Why are you doing
here? Are you here? Are we here? What – ” Vezon started, until Velika
interrupted him.

“Shut up, you Deadpool knockoff. I’m here to talk to the mask.” Velika said.

“Deadpool knockoff? I’m no knockoff! I’m a vezon, actually,” Vezon said.

“You’re talkative, insane, and homicidal. Hi, Deadpool, how are you? Now, let me talk to the mask.”

Vezon thought about this. On the one hand, he’s Vezon, and completely
insane, and could just kill this Matoran. On the other, he’s kind of
bored, so he might as well let the Matoran and mask talk.

“Alright, you guys can talk,” Vezon said.

The Ignika, which is telepathic for plot based purposes, “spoke” to Velika.

“What do you want?” it asked.

“I want you to get Matoro killed,” Velika responded.

“Why?”

“He insulted me.”

The Ignika was silent for a minute, then said, “So let me get this straight. You want me to kill a Toa because he insulted you.”

“Yes, that is correct,”

“You, sir, are petty,”

“I’m called a Great Being. Humility isn’t exactly my strong suit.”

“Clearly.”

“So will you do it?” Velika asked.

“Ugh. Fine,” the Ignika responded.

Velika soon left.

“So Matoro died because Velika was insulted?” Kyra asked.

“Yep,” Aldo answered.

“Wow, Great Beings really suck,”

“Well, yeah, that’s basically the biggest message of BIONICLE: the Great
Beings suck, and all problems can be traced back to them.”

(This one wasn’t a question asked by anyone; it was just an idea I had that I thought would be kind of funny. I honestly think it would be funnier if it were an animated short or something, but hey, it still works like this)

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@Dorkpool I think you technically triple-posted. Anyways, good stories. :wink:

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“I’ve been wondering something,” Kyra said.

Aldo sighed. “What is it this time?”

“I was curious about what the Shadowed One’s real name is, and how come only Ancient knows it?”

“Well, that is a good question. And fortunately, I have a good answer.”

What’s In A Name?

The Shadowed One and Ancient were home. They were on the island on which
they originated from, a land that, in the Shadowed One’s own words, was
never blessed by the gaze of Mata Nui. Considering that the island is
inside Mata Nui, this is kind of confusing when one thinks about it.

The two walked to the Hall of Records, a place where information and
records were kept about every being on and from the island, including
the Shadowed One and Ancient.

They entered the building, and were greeted by a waiting room. Beings
sat around, reading centuries old tablets. Or rather, they were asleep
with said tablets on them.

Meanwhile, at the front, someone announced, “Next please!” A being woke up, and went to the front.

The two decided to take a seat.

They waited…and waited…and waited…and waited…and after what felt like millenia, they were called to the front.

“Yes?” the woman at the front said once they came up.

“Hi, yes, I’d like my birth certificate,” the Shadowed One said.

“Alright. What’s your Social Security number?”

The Shadowed One stared at her aghast. “Social Security number?”

“Yes.”

“Social Security – lady, I’m the head of an organization of thieves and killers! I don’t have a Social Security number!”

“Fine, then I guess I can’t give you your birth certificate. Ne – ”

The Shadowed One interrupted her before she could say, “Next!” They didn’t want to wait again.

“What if I told you my name?” the Shadowed One asked.

“If it’s the name on the birth certificate, then sure,”

The Shadowed One mumbled something.

“What’s that?” the woman asked.

The Shadowed One once again muttered the same thing, but a little louder.

“Listen, if you don’t say your name, then – ”

“Cuddle Muffins,” the Shadowed One said.

“Cuddle Muffins?” the woman asked.

The Shadowed One nodded.

Everything seemed to fall silent for one second. Then, the woman said,
“Oh, you! Everyone here talks about you! I’ll get your certificate, hon,
don’t you worry!”

She went into the back, and soon returned with the Shadowed One’s birth certificate.

“Here you go!” she said brightly, giving it to him.

The Shadowed One destroyed it with his disintegration eyebeams. He and Ancient then left the building.

“Ancient,” the Shadowed One said soon after they left. “If you repeat
that to anyone, I will do things to you that will make you wish for
death.”

Ancient nodded, while laughing inside.

“Cuddle Muffins?” Kyra asked.

Aldo nodded.

“Well, it sure does explain why he didn’t want his name revealed…” Kyra said.

“Yeah. That, and the possible fan outcry. I mean, everyone got angry
because of the name Teridax. Imagine what Cuddle Muffins would cause.”

Kyra thought for a second. “My guess: tons of MLP/BIONICLE fan art. I
mean, isn’t Cuddle Muffins the name of some pony or something?”
“It wouldn’t surprise me,” Aldo said.

(This story is one of my favorites, mainly because of Cuddle Muffins. I’d been mulling the idea of having the Shadowed One’s real name be something stupid/funny, but mainly was thinking of something that sounded stupid, but would make sense in canon. Then I thought, “Why not go with something adorable?” Hence, Cuddle Muffins. The main story stayed basically the same, with the Shadowed One and Ancient hunting down TSO’s birth certificate. However, I did have to add why Ancient only knows his name, since it would be weird to devote a story to something that can be answered in a few words)

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I did? Oh, oops. I’m just trying to copy all of the stories from BZPower to here, which I’ve almost accomplished. And thank you.

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“I have a question,” Kyra said.

“I’m not surprised,” Aldo responded.

“Why did Brutaka decide to help the Piraka?”

“Well…”

A Pun A Day Drives The Brutaka Slightly Insane

Brutaka and Axonn hid in a cave, watching to see if anyone tried to come
for the Mask of Life or hurt the Matoran of the island. It was boring
work, but they had to do it.

Of course, it would be easier for Brutaka if Axonn shut up.

“Hey, hey, Brutaka,” Axonn said.

Brutaka sighed. “Axonn, I know what you’re going to say, and I ask that you please don’t.”

“But, Brutaka, I really need to axe you a question.”

Brutaka didn’t even need to see Axonn to know the bulky being with
abnormally large hands was smiling behind his mask. He decided not deck
Axonn, or use his mask to send the axe-wielder into another dimension
(though the thought did cross his mind). Besides, eventually he and
Axonn would be sent on another mission far away from this speck of land,
right?

Centuries passed, along with multiple bad puns.

“Hey, Brutaka, I wonder Hau come the Great Spirit is represented by the Mask of Shielding.”

“Hey, Brutaka, you know what really rocks? A Toa of Stone.”

“Hey, Brutaka, that Toa of Ice sure is cool.”

“Hey, Brutaka…”

“Hey, Brutaka…”

“Brutaka…”

“Brutaka…”

Brutaka, at this point, was about ready to snap. However, that was when
the Great Cataclysm struck, causing Voya Nui to rocket upwards. Some
beings on the island died. Unfortunately for Brutaka, Axonn was not one
of them.

However, Axonn was still his friend (ish), so Brutaka asked, “Axonn, are you ok?”

“Yeah,” Axonn said. “It was thanks to some quake thinking on my part that I’m alright,”

Brutaka sighed. Many died from what just happened. Why couldn’t Axonn be one of them?

Time passed. Around 700 years, to be exact. Then, a part of the island – Mahri Nui – fell off and sank into the sea.

“Well, I guess we’ll sea them later,” Axonn said about the event.

“Dude,” Brutaka said. “Not cool. Beings died.”

“Oh. Right. Oops.”

Brutaka groaned. He was getting really, really tired of Axonn.

Some time later, six canisters washed upon the island, carrying with
them beings who some ungodly reason have a rap dedicated to them. They
called themselves Piraka, and wanted the Mask of Life, and were prepared
to kidnap bands in order to get it.

“We have to prevent the Piraka from getting the Mask of Life!” Axonn exclaimed. “Who knows what terrible Thoks and plans lurk in their minds for the Ignika?”

Brutaka thought about it. On the one hand, he could help Axonn and stop
the Piraka. On the other, the Piraka could help him kill Axonn.

Brutaka fired an electric blast from his sword at Axonn, and ran away yelling, “NO MORE PUNS!”

“Puns,” Kyra stated.

“Yep,” Aldo said.

“Brutaka helped the Piraka because of terrible puns,”

“Of course. I mean, I’d hope you punderstand,”

Kyra was silent for a minute, processing the pun, then dying a bit inside. “Yes,” she said. “Yes I do.”

(Ok, this is the most recent EYWTKAB(BWATA) post on BZPower, so everything is all caught up as of present. And, in case anyone is wondering, I actually don’t hate puns. I think they’re punderful! …Please don’t hate me.)

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