multiple posting is allowed in Creative Content BTW.
“So Greg Farshtey – ” Kyra started, before Aldo interrupted her.
“The Great God of Canon, Farshtey,” Aldo corrected.
Kyra sighed. “Yeah. Him. Anyway, he said the Shadowed One had created a new army from the dregs of Bara Magnan society. What’s that army called?”
“Hmm…” Aldo said.
The Name Game
The Shadowed One was a figure to be feared and respected in the Matoran Universe. He ran an organization of thieves, killers, and mercenaries who caused Matoran everywhere to cower and fear, and Toa everywhere to die.
However, after the biggest battle of Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em robots ever fought, the Shadowed One realized he needed a new organization and a new name for said organization. He’s got the first one down pretty well so far, recruiting the dregs of beings from this “Bara Magna” place. Now he needed a name. Which is why he was in his new base, trying to think one up. And failing. He needed some help.
“Sentrakh!” he yelled, trying to call for his most trusted assistant. He didn’t come, and then the Shadowed One realized why. He had sent out the undead yellow being to recruit more people into his unnamed organization. He was curious about how that was going.
Elsewhere…
Sentrakh was talking to a group of Bone Hunters.
“So, you guys should, like, totally join with this awesome guy called the Shadowed One. He’s great. And awesome.”
One of the Bone Hunters said, “This ‘Shadowed One’ sounds kind of melodramatic. I mean, seriously, who calls themselves ‘The Shadowed One’ unless they’re trying to sound dramatic?”
Sentrakh took this well. He powered up and aimed his Rhotuka Launcher, and yelled, “DO NOT INSULT SHADOW SENPAI!”
Elsewhere again…
The Shadowed One figured Sentrakh was doing alright. But right now, he needed a name.
“Ancient!” he yelled, before realizing that he killed Ancient. Oops.
Well, fine, he didn’t need anyone. He was the Shadowed One. He could do this on his own.
Ok, a good name, he needed a good name. Something to strike fear and terror into the hearts of his enemies. Something like…
“Team RWBY!” the Shadowed One yelled in a Euraka-esque moment. Then he said, “Wait, what?”
No, something that makes sense and isn’t trademarked.
How about…
“Hydra!”
Wait, no, something that’s not trademarked.
Outside the door to the Shadowed One’s quarters in the base, Darkness stood by, waiting to see if the Shadowed One would become weak and have to be killed. The fact that he heard the Shadowed One shout things like, “The Shadowed One’s Lonely Hearts Club,” “Dark Bones,” “The Avengers,” “The Not-So-Justice League,” and “The Organization That Isn’t The Biggest Fan of Toa, Matoran, Agori, and Glatorian” made him wonder if now was the time.
Darkness opened the door to the Shadowed One’s quarters, and poked his head inside.
“Hey, are you being weak?” Darkness asked.
“Nope!” the Shadowed One said quickly. “Totally being strong and cruel and masculine. After I finish doing this, I’m going to go club some baby Mahi and burn an orphanage, because I’m tough and cruel like that.”
“Hmmm…” Darkness said. “Ok.” The dark being exited the room and closed the door.
Ok, so maybe that last name could work. Maybe something a bit more aggressive. Something like…
“The Anti-Toa, Glatorian, Agori, and Matoran Organization,” the Shadowed One said sometime later.
He was sitting at a round table, with Sentrakh standing behind him. Around the table were some Skrall, Bone Hunters, and other trusted Dark Hunters. He was telling them the name of the new organization.
They laughed.
The Shadowed One sighed, somewhat annoyed that the name was rejected, and said, “Sentrakh, kill them.”
Sentrakh did so, yelling, “NO ONE INSULTS SHADOW SENPAI!”
And so, the Shadowed One’s combined forces came to be called the Anti-Toa, Glatorian, and Matoran Organization.
“You know, you didn’t need to tell a whole story to answer me,” Kyra said.
“Of course I did! It’s tradition. Besides, I had a story for it, and people like these little stories.” Aldo said.
“Ok, yeah, good point.”
(Ok, I did say I’d only answer “why” or “how” questions, not ones that can be answered in a few words. However, I had this idea, and thought it would be funny, hence why I used that question)
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“So, did anyone else know that Mata Nui was a giant robot before it was officially revealed to the universe?” Kyra asked.
“Well – wait, you’re starting off with the actual question?” Aldo asked.
“Yeah. Is that a problem?”
“No, no, just kind of weird. Anyway…”
Told You
“So, there I was, traveling past Artidax,” the Steltian trader known as Farold said.
He was at a tavern for other traders and sailors like himself. As of present, he was telling a few of them some tales from his voyages.
“I had gone past most of the Southern continents, and was reaching the ends of the universe. And then…” Farold paused, mostly for dramatic effect. His audience was captivated, and leaned in closer.
“I hit something. A wall of sorts. Oddly enough, I couldn’t go past it. I had officially reached the end of the universe.”
The listeners of his story, once listening with rapt attention and focused, laughed. The end of the universe being a wall? Please.
“What?” Farold asked.
One of the audience, a being named Doufn, explained. “You expect us to believe that? What, are we in some kind of enclosed space? Maybe like a box, or a giant robot?”
Farold thought for a second. “Giant robot…yeah, that makes sense.”
Doufn laughed in his face. “You’re crazy.”
Some time later…
Doufn hid in a hut, a disk launcher at his side. Makuta had taken over the universe, and that was very, very bad.
Doufn had screwed over some Makuta in a deal some time back, and now he hid in fear, waiting to die. Also with him was the Steltian trader Farold.
“Told you so,” Farold said, right before a squadron of Exo-Toa barged into the hut.
“So what exactly happened to those two?” Kyra asked.
Aldo shrugged. “I don’t know. Wait for a miniseries or something to come out explaining it.”
“There’s a miniseries coming?”
“I don’t know. I just tell stories.”
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“Ever heard of Creepypasta?” Kyra asked.
“Yeah. Scary stories on the Internet that can be either really good or terrible. The guy who writes these things, Dorkpool, Riffs bad ones everyday at dorkpoolriffs.weebly.com (though he does use profanity and sex jokes, FYI).” Aldo answered.
Kyra just stared at him. “That was some really lazy ad placement.” She said.
“Hey, I didn’t want to say that. This was forced dialogue. Anyway, what about it?”
“Well, is there any BIONICLE Creepypasta?”
“Oh yeah. Two stories. ‘Dead Bionicles’ and ‘BIONICLE: Mask of Light: Director’s Cut.’ Both are awful, and were Riffed by Dorkpool at – ”
“Ok, stop,” Kyra said, interrupting him before the rather self-promoting writer could force him to name drop his site again. “By BIONICLE Creepypasta, I mean in-universe ones.”
“Oh, yeah. Tell me, have you ever heard of Irnakk?”
The Hyper-Realistic Tale of Irnakk
I was an intern on the island of Zakaz. It was rather stressful, since everyone tried to kill me, but I managed.
Anyway, one Skakdi, a tall red being by the name of Lauer had written a story called “Irnakk” with some pictures. Nifty. He asked me to take a look at it. I, being bored and an intern (somehow; do interns even exist in this universe?), did so.
It was something I would later come to regret.
The story started out like a normal story: a tall and handsome Skakdi by the name of Laur was walking around, killing his enemies. Suddenly, he found a tall, gold being.
He stared at it in the eyes, and this is shown in the drawing. The gold being’s eyes were red, bleeding, and hyper-realistic. It shook me to the core, but I kept on reading, since this is a Creepypasta story, and most bad ones feature an idiotic narrator/main character who, despite being scared out of his/her wits, keeps watching the messed up episode.
As I said, I kept reading. The story kept getting more messed up. Laur asks, “Who are you?” to the gold being.
The being responds, “I am Irnakk.”
Laur noticed Irnakk has very large and visible teeth. “What’s with the teeth?” he asked.
“They’re for grinding you skin,” Irnakk said. “Also, I’m a combination model of a few Skakdi sets, so the large teeth are kind of a given.”
Laur had enough of the conversation and, being an awesome being of awesome in this story (since Lauer has a thing for self-insertion stories), defeats Irnakk. It’s here that Laur disappears from the story, and we instead focus on Irnakk.
Irnakk was embarrassed by his defeat, and went home to cry about it. Oddly enough, rather than crying tears, he was crying blood. And not just any blood, but hyper-realistic blood. Most of this part, along with most of the rest of the story, is told mainly through pictures.
Irnakk, really sad over what happened, aimed a zamor launcher at his head.
There also seemed to be another picture there. Upon closer examination, it appeared to be a dead body! This should shock me, but I’m on Zakaz. Dead bodies are pretty common around here.
Anyway, Irnakk kept crying those bloody hyper-realistic tears and still had the launcher to his head. Then a voice said to the gold being, “DO IT.”
Irnakk then said, “No,”
“WHAT? WHY?”
“Well, I mean, suicide isn’t really the answer, and since this is going to be on the TTV Message Boards, I’m not sure if suicide is technically allowed. Well, a non-heroic suicide that is.”
“BUT THIS IS A CREEPYPASTA. SUICIDE IS FINE IN CREEPYPASTA.”
“I can assure you, this would not be accepted to the Creepypasta Wiki.”
“WHY NOT THE CREEPYPASTA LAND WIKI?”
“Seriously, dude? I have some standards.”
“UGH. FINE. I’LL DO IT.”
And thus, an unseen being caused the launcher to go off, which didn’t kill Irnakk since zamor launchers can’t do that.
And then a Skull Spider popped out.
“That…was extremely stupid,” Kyra said.
“The sad part is, it’s somewhat better than those two BIONICLE Creepypasta stories I mentioned earlier.” Aldo said.
“Wait, really?”
Aldo nodded.
“That is sad.”
“You have no idea,” Aldo said wisely.
(Ok, so a little thing I should mention here: if you know absolutely nothing about Creepypasta, most of these jokes probably went right over your head. Apologies for that, I just thought this would make for a funny idea. Also, I did think of writing an Irnakk Creepypasta – a real one, not a parody story like this. That never went anywhere. Actually, when you think about BIONICLE, and some thing about it – Dooheads, how dark the stories got, the two unfinished “lost games” – it’s a wonder no one’s written a decent BIONICLE Creepypasta story. Oh well. Maybe one day…
Also, this story isn’t going on BZPower. Mostly because of the links to my site, and because this is a tad…darker than usual. Congratulations, you’re reading the first TTV Message Boards exclusive Everything You Wanted To Know About BIONICLE (But Were Afraid To Ask) story)
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Things on Outtacontin Nui had been quiet as of late. Mainly because Turaga Aldo had been missing. Normally, this would cause panic and confusion. However, since Aldo didn’t really do anything aside from tell stories and yell crazy things, others governed, so his presence wasn’t really missed.
Well, except by one being. A Ga-Matoran named Kyra. She’d enjoyed hearing Aldo’s stories, and did miss him. Also, talking to him gave her something to do besides get underfoot and anger people. As such, she had been looking for him.
One day, she had just given up. It was on that day that a voice behind her said, “Kyra,”
The Ga-Matoran turned around to see Aldo. “Aldo?” she asked. “Where have you been?”
Aldo looked nervous. “Er, at home, doing, uh, Turaga things.”
Kyra crossed her arms. “You were binge-watching Orange Is The New Brown, weren’t you?”
“Yes,”
Kyra sighed.
“Hey, it’s a good show!” Aldo responded defensively.
“Yeah, whatever. There’s a question I’ve been meaning to ask you.”
“Ask.”
“How come beings of Earth changed from brown to orange or yellow?”
“Well…”
Orange You Glad I Didn’t Say Voriki?
The robed figures ran as rain pelted them. Thunder cracked and lighting flashed.
Farshety, the Great God of Canon, was angry.
The figures soon came upon a cliff.
“Oh, Great God of Canon!” one yelled. “What has upset you so?”
“I AM NOT UPSET.” A voice boomed back. “I SIMPLY HAVE A NEW DECREE.”
The same robed figure asked, “What is it you decree?”
“I DECREE THAT THE COLOR BROWN ON ALL EARTH BEINGS SHALL BE REPLACED WITH…ORANGE AND/OR YELLOW!”
A gasp went through the group. Replace brown with orange and/or yellow?
“Have you lost your mind?” another robed figure asked. The other figures tried shushing him.
“WHO SAID THAT?” the voice boomed.
One of the figures stepped forward, taking off his hood and revealed a jagged purple mask. “I did,” he said.
“AND WHO ARE YOU?”
“Voriki, Toa of Energy!”
A bolt of lightning fell upon Voriki, completely eradicating him.
“HE IS NO LONGER CANON. DOES ANYONE ELSE OBJECT TO MY DECREE?” the voice asked.
The remaining robed figures frantically shook their heads.
“GOOD.”
“So, wait, the color change is because the Great God of Canon decreed it?” Kyra asked.
Aldo nodded. “The Great God works in mysterious, and lethal, ways.” He said.
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These are great
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Thank you.
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casually sets topic to watching
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“So, BIONICLE ended again?” Kyra asked.
She and Aldo sat on a pier in Outtacontin Nui, just talking.
“That it has, Kyra,” Aldo responded.
“Did it really end as stupidly as I was led to believe?” Kyra inquired.
“Well – ” Aldo started, until a screaming in the sky caught their attention.
The Turaga and Matoran looked up to see six elemental colored rays of light shooting down from the sky. It seemed each part would land on different parts of Outtacontin Nui. What the two noticed was that the blue one was heading right towards where they were sitting. Kyra and Aldo scrambled up the pier as the blue light hit the water with a splash.
The two turned around to see a figure in the water, who jumped gracefully onto the pier.
“Who are you?” Kyra asked.
“I am Gali, Uniter of Water!” the figure said proudly.
Kyra turned to Aldo. “Wait, this is where they came from?”
“This is where they returned, as they are no longer canon.” Aldo explained.
“Hey, Gali?” Kyra asked.
“Yes?”
“How did that climatic battle with Makuta and Ekimu really go? I figured you know.”
“Well…”
I Banish You To The Cancelled Realm!
Umarak had led Ekimu and the six Uniters to where Makuta was returning. The visage of Makuta was visible through some purple portal-like thing.
“Makuta!” Ekimu said. “It’s time to d-d-d-duel!”
“Very well!” Makuta responded! “I activate Umarak the Destroyer!”
Umarak charged the six Uniters, attacking them. Gali was immediately defeated.
“Umarak sends your Gali the Uniter to the graveyard!” Makuta said, as Gali’s spirit went into the portal-like thing where Makuta was.
“Fine, Makuta! I use my five Uniters to attack your Umarak the Destroyer!”
The five remaining Uniters attacked Umarak. It didn’t do much.
“Ha ha!” Makuta laughed. “My Umarak the Destroyer is too strong for your Uniters!”
“Not so fast, Makuta!” Ekimu exclaimed, pointing at the glowing Master of Shadows. “I activate my Trap Card, Deus Ex Machina Information! It returns my Gali the Uniter from the graveyard, and gives her necessary crammed in information to win!”
Makuta gasped.
“I also use my Spell Card, Gen 1 Shoutout, because it’s still my turn! And I use my six Uniters to attack you directly!”
The six Uniters used some color corresponding elemental beams to attack Makuta.
“My six Uniters destroy all your Life Points, and send you to the Shadow Realm!”
“Nooooo!” Makuta yelled, as he was defeated.
“Take that, Makaiba!” Ekimu said.
“Don’t you mean ‘Makuta’?” Tahu asked.
“Shouldn’t you all be leaving?” Ekimu responded.
And the six Uniters went…somewhere.
“So this was one big Yu-Gi-Oh joke?” Kyra asked.
“No, it was a serious battle.” Gali replied.
“Using the phrase ‘Shadow Realm’ makes it hard to take something seriously,” Aldo pointed out.
“Hey, it’s better than a battle of Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots,” Gali muttered.
“Let’s agree they’re both stupid,” Aldo said.
All three nodded in agreement.
After a brief pause, Kyra asked, “So, are you staying here, or…?”
Gali shrugged.
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these are hilarious and I’m going to guess the vodoos are a referance to galidor