I have a master plan to build a giant space laser to destroy every ounce of Iceberg Lettuce on the planet. You will regret giving me food poisoning, you non-sentient menace that poses as a paragon of healthy eating even though you have negligible nutritional value! Romaine, Spinach and Cabbage are all better salad greens than you, you vile menace that pollutes every burger you touch! Your corrupt rule will end one day, and I will be left standing!
Also, I really don't care for cooked Salmon.