Unfortunately, the internet isn't paper
Fortunately, it's a network connecting people together from across the planet.
Unfortunately, it has tumblr on it.
Fortunately, it also has Reddit.
Unfortunately, Reddit crashed.
Fortunately, I created Reddit 2!
Unfortunately, it was a ploy to feed everyone communist propaganda
Fortunately, I've created an anti communist robot to help regulate the propaganda.
Unfortunately, this robot was confiscated by some strange foundation claiming it was an "anomaly."
Fortunately, I just broke a deal with this friendly looking alien gentlemen to come and occupy earth for a while. I can only see this ending well.