I'm going to assume neither of these characters are Dead of Kulta since it is not directly stated.
Let's start with Jeren.
Does he have arrows, and if so, what kind? people are going to begin making assumptions when interacting with this character, and while you may possibly consider them steel-headed, others may see them as bone or stone.Also, I'd like the level of his expertise with these weapons listed.
Okay, aside from the simplicity, this is the kind of bio I really want to see. You don't have to be bland and short - you can do a wall of text like Timageness did - but I don't want to hear about how xXEdgyOkotoran32123Xx defeaed the skull spiders but there was more and Hokku is his father and he was siblings with Ekimu before he died and he is an emo but also really smart he has all the smarts and is very cohesive with his bio.
I would much rather prefer "This character isn't perfect; in fact he has a lot of flaws, but he somehow made it and he's still pushing on." Except not lame sounding like that.
A White/Blue Villager Mask would serve the same purpose. Keep in mind while the Protectors had powered masks, the Okotoran do not.
Apparently not, which is a bit frustrating as I was hoping I could give them to the military. Also, same with Jeren, does she have arrows, and if so, what kind?
I'm just going to assume you fancied up "It was made into a knife" and didn't insert some special magic power into it with that description.
See, when the weapons are not berserk and wild, like a scythe, I'll allow more. Nothing wrong here, except I'd like the level of her expertise with these weapons listed.
First character with some kind of winter wear. Everything here is good.
Okay, um, no. With how many raids the Skull Spider hordes have had against the city, the chance that one random Okotoran is not only alive, but aimlessly walking back and forth hoping to get in without any of the guards noticing her is completely unrealistic and unbelievable.
With how well put together the rest of the bio is, however, I'll allow that at the start of her appearance into the game, she's just about to the city, running for her life from the unseen and undetectable hordes.
K, so both of these need work, but all of it is relatively minor, and once it's all lookin' good you'll both be able to play.