I give you the powet to type at light speed, but for every letter you type you lose an ounce of blood.
You have the ability to shrink, but only by about half an inch.
You have the ability to travel in time by an hour but only on days that fall on Daylight savings time.
I give the power of 1999!
The ability to be invisible if you have your eyes closed.
That could actually be useful.
You get the power to resist all radiation and heat, but only after you've been standing on the sun for 10 seconds.
The ability to control all manners of life.
The ability to generate infinite walls (trump intensifies)
The ability to create light in rooms that are already well lit.
The ability to control microwaves.
The ability to shapeshift into anything that has a mustache
The ability to fly in reverse whenever you're asleep.
The ability to fly north, and only north.
The ability to become invisible...
But only when wearing a purple Batman costume on a Tuesday afternoon.
The ability to have telepathy, but only be able to use it on plants.
Your hand can glow, but you have to punch a wall or other hard surface first.
The ability to make others uncomfortable.
The ability to spontaneously give memes life
The ability to bring living things to life.
The ability to sing Space Oddity!