Satire requires a clarity of purpose and target lest it be mistaken for and contribute to that which it intends to criticize.
The MOC is actually pretty good for what it is. Not too big on the mirrored color scheme personally, and the white claws and (especeially) head stick out a good deal.
One thing that's always bugged me about Rahkshi-headed humanoid MOCs is how the Rahkshi head is flat and reptilian compared to a human head. You took one step to correct it with the added neck, which is good. Just one of these days I'd like to see a head that uses the Rahkshi head on top and fills in the bottom fully.