Near-death experiences

Yeah, worst of all, I had my 4th birthday between the start and end of the bombing raid…I could have not even turn 4 back then.

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i almost had a near death experience the other day

Elaborate?..

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Once I was at the beach for some summer camp and I went farther into the water.

######oh and i couldn’t swim
Then a big wave came, however i was facing the other way talking to a friend

Needless to say, I got swept up in the water. I wasn’t dragged to far, but I kinda spaced out and stayed at the bottom for a couple of minutes before I realized I was under water and I should swim out. However, I got caught up in another wave and after this process repeating a couple of times one of the camp counselors noticed and saved me. If you’re wondering how dumb I was to just stay under the water…I was tired that day, okay?

Also once my sister tried to waterboard me.

No I’m really not lying.

We were playing around in our inflatable pool, and then she got mad when I splashed her with water.

And one day my cousin shot a firework thing at me.

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Most of mine are borderline ridiculous, and could’ve been avoided entirely:

  • When I was a toddler, I was “helping” my mother bring in the groceries. The next thing I know, I’m looking to see if there’s still anything left to grab, she’s not paying attention, and the lid of the trunk comes slamming down on the back of my neck.
  • On three separate occasions, I’ve managed to barrel roll one of my dad’s snowmobiles; the first time was as a child on a frozen lake during an ice fishing trip, the second was at the end of his quarter-mile driveway back in middle school, and the third involved me rear-ending him, flying over a snowbank, and being launched into the woods. During all three, I was done in by a patch of ice while trying to brake, and my speed at the time ranged between 60 - 75 mph.
  • Ironically, during another incidednt involving the same snowmobile, my sister hit me with it and sent me flying about 10 feet while riding it around our backyard. Fun fact; despite all the times we’ve managed to total it, not only does it still run to this day, but it’s also my dad’s oldest working snowmobile, as he originally purchased it way back in 1985. Which is funny, because all of his new ones tend to break down within a year.
  • During a Boy Scout trip, I was riding my bike down a trail in the woods, hit a rock, and ended up skidding the rest of the way down the hill on my face. Something similar happened again years later while I was pulling over to the side of the road to let a car pass by me… and they didn’t even stop to check if I was okay.
  • I had a parked dirtbike fall on top of me, possessing a broken clutch that sliced into my back and practically filleted my right calf, which then, on top of all that, sent me stumbling down an embankment. Needless to say, my dad was not happy that he had to spend his birthday in the emergency room that year.
  • The last one is probably the dumbest one of all; one day, I decided to take a shortcut home through the woods after I was dropped off from school, which to be fair, my sister and I used to do a lot. Unfortunately, that day I wound up getting lost for two hours before eventually winding up behind a neighboring beaver pond… and when I did finally emerge back out onto the road, I was even farther away from my house than I had originally started. They also make fun of me for it about every other month or so.
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I wouldn’t call these near death, but oh well, still painful nonetheless.

When I was younger, I got both Appendicitis, and Lyme Disease (separate times), and had to go to the hospital both times. With the Appendicitis one, my mother though I was faking, and didn’t realize until I couldn’t walk, that it was in fact real.

One time, I had my head out of the window of my dad’s car, and he, not knowing that, rolled up the window on my neck.

Another time I was bogey boarding, and the wave pulled me under and I banged the back of my neck, and got a mouthful of salt water, although, I was luckily sent to the shore by the same wave.

And most recently (last August) I fell down three or four rows of seats at the Georgia Dome because my friend’s family didn’t give me enough room to walk, and I was in a hurry to see one of my favorite drum corps perform.

this one isn’t about me, but there was that time my friend fell out of a tree and fractured his spine. And the other time we accidentally dropped a heavy rock onto his leg.

I got into an epic fistfight with a truck.

T’was bad for the truck.

in reality I just got hit by it and the owner lost it because their mother got really angry.

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I think I have a cancerous tumor but it probably isn’t.

Guess we’ll wait and see if it’s death or near death.

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It’s not exactly near death, but all my near death experiences are “I almost drowned,” so I’m gonna tell you this one instead.
When I was 10 I used to ride this 3 wheel scooter. (two on the back, one on the front) and the front wheel hit a rock. Now I was going down a hill in the middle of the road and because of this, I was launched from the scooter sliding down the road. There was this idiot in a car not stopping and I just got out of the way before he (or she) ran me over.