Pouks/Panrahk [PITCH]

Hopping on the bandwagon for G3, and because I finally figured out how to post new topics on this board, here is my pitch of a possible backstory for Pouks

For young Pouks, it seemed like life couldn’t get any better. Born to one of the wealthy families living along the Forest Gate in the Motara region, Pouks enjoyed a great degree of comfort, with all the luxuries a little boy could want. With the rumors that his father Kodan was going to be handpicked as a successor by Dekar, the Merchant King who ruled the Forest Gate at the time, it all seemed too good to be true. And rather unfortunately for Pouks, it was.

Ahkmou, who was also close with the current Merchant King was jealous that he was being passed over, hired some Dark Hunters to call a hit on Kodan and his family. Meanwhile Ahkmou poisoned Dekar over dinner and forged a will claiming he would be picked as successor. Pouks was the only lose end, having been hidden by his mother under a secret trapdoor beneath their estate. Using his wits, and the harsh weather of the desert to his advantage, Pouks managed to escape from Ahkmou’s men, who gave up searching for him and wrote him off as dead.

Pouks saw that his affluent lifestyle was an illusion, and the reality was that there was always going to be a catch. Still, some part of him hoped that maybe he could start all over again, that he could take control of his life. To maintain this illusion, he joined several nomadic tribes that dotted the Bara Magna region. He would always try to change the script, the scene, his name and face. But the stories always ended with him being the sole survivor, whether the tribe was destroyed by sandstorms or burned to the ground by mercenaries.

One particular instance involved the tribe he had joined discovered the land they had set up in was rich in Exsidian, an extremely rare metal valued for it’s strength and resistance to rust and sand erosion. What was once nothing but territory fit only for Mahi goats turned into a boomtown. No longer was he Pouks, the little boy who struggled to survive. Now he was Skopio, the leader of a thriving town called Iron Canyon.

It wasn’t long before Ahkmou caught wind of this and tried to claim the deed to the land so he could reap the benefits for himself and sent some of his men to drive out the residents. Pouks on the other hand was not so easily threatened, and years of hardship had made him more then a match for the goons. After a good old-fashioned showdown, Pouks sent them running back with their tails between their legs…or so he thought.

In the dead of night, the men returned and torched the boomtown. Pouks tried to fight Ahkmou’s men off again, but this time he had to do it while he could barely breath. At last, he succumbed to exhaustion from smoke inhalation. He was praying for Ketar, his father, anyone to answer his cry for help. His prayers were answered sooner than expected when a mysterious cloaked figure appeared out of the flames and quickly dispatched Ahkmou’s men and spirited Pouks away.

The man introduced himself as a scout for the Brotherhood of Makuta, claiming that his master had taken an interest in him. After the journey to the Brotherhood’s stronghold, the leader of the brotherhood, Norik himself, greeted him. Norik explained that the life he tried to make for himself was an illusion that was broken time and time again. That they all lived to serve Makuta, whom had great things planned for Pouks—a name he had not called himself in years. Pouks considered these words. People like Ahkmou were under the illusion that they could lord over Pouks and others like him. No matter how good or how rich you were though, the reality was that all is equal to the flame. By joining the Brotherhood, he could teach the Matoran their place, that they were all servants of Makuta, and Makuta alone.

When the time came for Pouks to undergo his final initiation into the Brotherhood, he quickly became quite fond of his mutation. Finally he had shattered the false image he held of himself. He was not Pouks, the heir to a powerful Merchant King, or any one of the different personas he assumed while in hiding. No, he was now Panrahk, the Rahkshi of Illusion.

His first act after his transformation was to sneak into Ahkmou’s estate and forced his father’s killer to confront the illusions he held of himself. He chose not to kill Ahkmou, claiming death would be a mercy and that the Makuta will have other plans for him. Ahkmou has slept with a Kanoka Launcher ever since.

SIDE NOTE: Norik might also reference how Ahkmou was initially considered as a candidate for the Brotherhood of Makuta as a nod to his role in the G1 story

I wasn’t sure if Onewa was pitched as a character yet…his name was a placeholder for a potential persona Pouks might’ve assumed at the time. Pouks changed names like hats during his period of roaming from tribe to tribe. Names could easily be ones of other G1 or G2 Po- characters (E.g. Golyo, Piatra, Epena, etc)

Ahkmou’s fate could also set up for him becoming a member of the Brothehood later on should the G3 team choose to go that route.

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Very good read. I’d like to see it continue, as well as the rest of G3 progress.

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I really like this, it gives an in-depth backstory, and also allows for the “survivor” idea given to Pouks and for the whole “illusion” thing Panrahk has going for him. Two things I would change:

-Not name him Onewa, while I do not believe there is anyone by that name currently (maybe a merchant king, not sure), I would personally not take such a big name and give it to a character for such a short time. I would just give him a cool nickname, “Scorpio” or something, a nod to G2.

-Not have him fuse with Nui-Jaga. The mutation of the Rahkshi was completely Makuta, the Rahkshi had no choice in it whatsoever. I wouldn’t even be surprised if some Rahkshi hated the transformation. Also, I wouldn’t really say they are “fused” with anything, rather than “becoming like”.

Other than that, I’m excited to see how this gets talked about on the next podcast! Or the next. Or the next.

Pouks I would imagine is in the camp who actually likes his transformation, mainly because it is how he sees himself deep down, a venomous insect capable of felling giants.

As for the name change, I will do you one better. Instead of Scorpio I have named this particular persona Skopio as a nod to the vehicle from G1

Good call on the fusion angle too, becoming like creatures on Arthaka mixed with their Rahkshi elements works much better. Says a little more about the character that way.

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Nice work getting something basically canonized!

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I really like the great majority of it; I have a couple tweaks I might make to make it more thematically dramatic or sensible, but it is in fact quite inspiring my desire to write! Which means that conceptually, this is an awesome pitch.

The fallen royalty backstory is a very unique choice, one I never considered, but I really do like where this is headed.[quote=“A2B2C2, post:1, topic:42886”]
Meanwhile Ahkmou poisoned Dekar over dinner and forged a will claiming he would be picked as successor. Pouks was the only lose end, having been hidden by his mother under a secret trapdoor beneath their estate. Using his wits, and the harsh weather of the desert to his advantage, Pouks managed to escape from Ahkmou’s men, who gave up searching for him and wrote him off as dead.
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A couple things:
I feel the merchant kings would operate less on bloodlines and more on power. I think that if Ahkmou were to openly, violently overthrow Dekar and publicly usurp his throne, that the mafia-like Po-Matoran would accept him as their new leader. Makes Ahkmou more bada*s too, killing Dekar and having his children dashed against the rocks, so-to-speak.

Good! Might be more interesting if it were presented as less of a hard truth, and more of a new cynicism Pouks developed after his family’s slaughter. I.E “Pouks came to believe all good things must come to a violent end”, or as Tokugawa Ieyasu would say, “At the moment of victory, tighten the straps of your helmet".

Wandering nomad. :thumbsup: He could develop combat skills at this point in the game, perhaps training under various teachers and broadening his horizons in general. The notion that each and every tribe he joins is decimated by happenstance isn’t something I find compelling, though. Perhaps the villagers could try to turn him in to Ahkmou for a small reward after uncovering his identity and he’d be forced to flee again. Throw in that it would people he’d befriended over the course of his tenure at each village betraying him, and you would have a severely guarded, emotionally damaged individual.
I also want to clarify that Ahkmou probably wouldn’t be searching for him (under my understanding of the merchant kings). He isn’t like a royal heir to the throne or an exiled prince, he’s a nobody. hence Ahkmou has nothing to fear from him. It’s just that the impoverished miners and peasants he would live with will do anything for a quick buck.

This is solid.[quote=“A2B2C2, post:1, topic:42886”]
In the dead of night, the men returned and torched the boomtown. Pouks tried to fight Ahkmou’s men off again, but this time he had to do it while he could barely breath. At last, he succumbed to exhaustion from smoke inhalation. He was praying for Ketar, his father, anyone to answer his cry for help. His prayers were answered sooner than expected when a mysterious cloaked figure appeared out of the flames and quickly dispatched Ahkmou’s men and spirited Pouks away.
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I really like this. It seems like a tactic that Ahkmou would actually employ to smoke out uppity peasants, and the imagery of perhaps Bomonga or Kualus or some other Brotherhood agent kicking butt in the smoldering ruins of a desert outpost is… awesome.
The only issue is that the Brotherhood is taking a large risk in saving Pouks from such a powerful individual as a Merchant King, and they have no reason to do so. Pouks needs some sort of special skill to be targeted by the Brotherhood for recruitment, and it needs to be fairly clear, as the Brotherhood is fairly small-scale and isn’t able to see everything.

As for what that could be? I’m not sure, but I’m confident you’ll think of something smart.

That’s dope. I would really emphasize this, iron out the wording, and have it be a major theme. [quote=“A2B2C2, post:1, topic:42886”]
When the time came for Pouks to undergo his final initiation into the Brotherhood, he quickly became quite fond of his mutation. Finally he had shattered the false image he held of himself. He was not Pouks, the heir to a powerful Merchant King, or any one of the different personas he assumed while in hiding. No, he was now Panrahk, the Rahkshi of Illusion.
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Interesting direction. There are many you could take here, especially with illusion. Him seeing himself as [quote=“A2B2C2, post:4, topic:42886”]
a venomous insect capable of felling giants
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isn’t what I would have gravitated to if I were in your position, but its a solid idea. Another I can think of off the top of my head is that he is pleased to have his illusion dispelled as he now can see himself as the monster he really is. Perhaps he really is just a bad person, out to regain his lost inheritance for selfish reasons, and he has been deluding himself, telling himself he wants the throne to avenge his father. As a Rahkshi, he faces the truth, and his motif is that he faces truths head on, while creating falsehoods with powers and tongue to rebuff and hurt others.

Not a suuper fan, but it’s not a huge deal. I picture Ahkmou as a hardened thug and dangerous man in G3, but this isn’t a dealbreaker or a point to debate.

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I’ll admit, the idea of Pouks sneaking in and somehow intimidating Ahkmou was inspired by the Riddler’s confrontations with Mockridge during his debut in Batman the Animated Series. In the G1 Canon, Ahkmou might talk big, but he will acquiesce if someone bigger or more powerful makes an offer he can’t refuse. I figure this was Pouks; way of taking down Ahkmou a peg or two. That isn’t to say he’s any less intimidating, but maybe he has some sort of Macbeth thing going on? Though with less guilt and more paranoia.

I definitely see what you’re going for with the scene, though I admit I haven’t read Macbeth and so don’t understand quite what you mean there, but I can kind of infer based upon the rest. I can see G1 Ahkmou in the situation you describe, but G3 Ahkmou has actual power and prestige, and Pouks infiltrating and threatening the kingpin so easily diminishes the threat he poses. It also doesn’t add anything per say; Pouks doesn’t undergo a character change as a result of the meeting, and in fact his actions seem counter to his character in that particular scene. Perhaps instead he could raid one of Ahkmou’s outposts, and put everyone to the blade (Or torch) in a fit of rage, partially satiating his animosity toward the merchant kings?

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