he leads her inside.
“yeah?”
Beth looks around
“And you know how I’ve been having a few troubles lately?”
“this is toko’s favorite place, you know?”
oliver nods.
“Really why?” Beth asks.
“you’ll see.”
“Okay.”
he leads her to a table.
Beth sits down.
“. . . I just can’t stop feeling guilty about everything. It all just feels wrong, I-I just can’t shake the feeling that all this wasn’t meant for me.” He clenches his fists. “Finally, I’m with someone who wasn’t just being friends with me to use me. It’s been so long since that’s happened, but . . . but I don’t trust myself. I have nothing going for me, no matter how many times I can think of how things will go in the future, I just think that’s there’s nothing left. It’s all a standstill, my life’s not going anywhere. It always happens with coyotes, it always does, I’ll lose it all eventually. Nothing I do ever matters because it’ll just be taken away from me in the end.” His voice starts quivering a bit and goes quieter. “Nothing I do matters . . . nothing matters.”
he hands her a menu.
“you matter.”
Beth looks at it. “Thank you.”
“Like hell I do. You just say that 'cause all I have to do is take a step back.”
he orders
“no, i mean it.”
“. . . You know, they say it hurts less if you didn’t get so attached to everything,” Ash says quietly, still avoiding eye contact.
Beth gets the same thing as him
“please don’t.”
the waiter goes out.
Beth smiles at Machneal.
OOC: gtg
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“I can’t help but do so, you know. Even down to animals and even plants, I act as if they were my friends. I kinda had to when I was alone in the desert. It might’ve even saved my sanity, whatever amount I had left of it. Every person who’s been my friend, my family, and in your case, my lover, I’ve never felt happier to be with them . . . until they eventually disappear. I’m a danger to you, Oliver. I don’t deserve you. I’m just trying to make it hurt less for you.”