Sarukai lord of ice

Creative Content Lego Creations
21

Thank you @EmperorDuckie

22

This puzzles me. So he was born on a moon, right?

What?

So the story still suffers (I donā€™t want to be rude but thatā€™s the truth). And you should have gave more details about his adventurers in other universes. Otherwise, it doesnā€™t make much sense.
BUT from what Iā€™ve understood, the story seems to be interesting and I would like to see a literature series.

23

Going with what he said, by technicality his home planet is a moon because it orbits a bigger planet despite its habitable atmosphere/environment.

1 Like
24

@Toa_Vladin im just removing the story all together it isnā€™t the main focus the build is didnā€™t t post him for his backstkry that has been made and is actually finished

25

Ah, too bad, stories are always nice.

26

@KAI_BORG Well it wasnā€™t like it was important only real important part is where his great sword demonslayer which has a demons soul bonded to the blade shatters

1 Like
27

Since your moc is pretty OP, I want to see if he has a reason. This is why I care about the backstory.

28

@Toa_Vladin well I didnā€™t particularly post it for the back story the whole idea around him is the fact of his race which is a skartorgian their basically like superior warriors who gain power extremely fast they still can have elemental abilityā€™s but the humans are much stronger with those kai is a mix of skartorgian and human skartorgians have their own planet in my story called skartorgia it use to exist before it was destroyed by one of my villains his name was avarki
Kai is the son of my moc valik and a human named kireina he is powerful like he is which isnā€™t exactly op he only becomes op in my next arc of the story which is called kalathorn

1 Like
29
  1. He is pretty OP, you must admit. I think that a third of the whole topic is about his powers.
  2. [quote=ā€œNuvaguardian, post:28, topic:45883ā€]
    he only becomes op
    [/quote]

OP = bad (in most cases)
3) As I said, Iā€™d like a Literature series, to know more about your story.

30

@Toa_Vladin I thought it was a good thing to know about powers?

1 Like
31

What?

32

The moc looks pretty good! It could be streamlined a bit, but not bad. [quote=ā€œToa_Vladin, post:29, topic:45883ā€]
OP = bad (in most cases)
[/quote] I donā€™t feel like thatā€™s a fair criticism; especially seeing as itā€™s his own character in his own universe. You donā€™t have to limit a character arbitrarily, so long as there are others to challenge them in universe. (Even then, if the character is meant to be a god, thatā€™s ok as well)

2 Likes
33

I said most of the times so there are a lot of situation where it works. Examples: if he is a god, it works; if he has certain limits, it works; if it uses it like One Punch Man, it works; etc.

34

Really the only problem with backstories being so long is that they clutter up the topic, so if you have a long backstory, just hide its details.

35

I couldve sworn he was named Sakurai for a second lol. That visorak shield is really neat i must say.

36

Thank you and yeah Iā€™ve been told about the similarities in his name and sakuai