I've given it some thought.
Neither. Every building project starts with knowing the tools and the builder required. You start by building yourself. You have to have a blueprint of yourself and know what it is you are supposed to be. If you haven't put yourself together first, you run the risk of trying to build yourself off of the other person. This isn't good. Both require a solid foundation. If the relationship alone is what defines one of you, you're headed down a costly path. You'll likely spend many saddening hours trying to patch yourself up, clinging to a pre-existing creation with a high risk of breaking off completely. Spend time building yourself. Know how it is that you are built and only then can you start on a wife with a similar foundation that will be compatible with yours.
Next, you work on building connecting points. Now that you know how your own hopes, dreams, and desires are built, you can compare those with the wife's. Not every point has to fit, but the more that do the more solid your connection will be. Opposites may attract, but they're really like when you rub a nail with a magnet: temporary attraction that will quickly fade. You're gonna want to work with solid anchoring.
If your blueprint is looking up to snuff, you can enter the next phase. This is where you present your project proposal to all affected parties. It can be a hard sell and you need to balance the amount of time you spend preparing for the proposal. Too soon and you'll be blindsided by unforeseen complications during building. Wait too long and your investors will likely have lost interest in the project altogether, perhaps even moving onto somebody else's.
If project proposal goes well, you're ready to begin the building process. This should ideally take place around twelve months, give or take. The important thing to remember is that, if your blueprints were properly developed, you can relax a bit during this time. So long as neither party does anything foolish or hasty, the building process should work out just fine, though not necessarily without a modicum of stress.
Before you know it, the process is complete and you get to have a grand celebration of the completed project. You get to talk to the press, cut the ribbon, and look forward to a successful and productive future.
That's how you build a wife.
Not currently. That could easily change.