It's not really that I feel incomplete. More so that I feel horribly lonely.
It also doesn't help that what romantic experience I have had, isn't at all positive.
It all started way back in the 6th grade, where I started crushing on this one girl really hard, and didn't really get over that until my first year of high school.
Towards the end of that same year I got into an actual relationship with another girl, and while I enjoyed it at the time, she was constantly trying to rush things and do things we really shouldn't have been. It wasn't until after we split that I learned she never really cared about me to begin with, was insulting me behind my back, and was cheating on me while we were dating.
Since then I've had two hopeless crushes that while they're short lived, they still hurt to go through. Every time I try to tell myself I can't fall for them because I know how its going to end. If I fall in love with anyone again I'm only setting myself up for failure, disappointment, and pain.
But at the same time feeling the affection of someone else who genuinely cares about me just feels like something I need. At times the loneliness can feel suffocating.