The Relationship Topic

[MaximusPrimal]

You've seemed to achieved the one thing I'll seemingly never have.
Congrats.

[EmperorDuckie]

I just got a breakup.

[MaximusPrimal]

That was fast

[EmperorDuckie]

She couldn’t see us being long term or anything. Kinda understand, and thought we’d just go back to being friends, but now she either doesn’t want to or can’t talk to me so that’s a little depressing.

[MaximusPrimal]

Honestly that's still a thousand times better than my first (and so far only) girlfriend. But I completely understand what that feels like.

[SteampunkTahu]

@MaximusPrimal & @EmporerDuckie

Relationships are overrated. You can be single and still perfectly happy.

[MaximusPrimal]

I've tried telling myself that many times and I've still been suffering emotionally for almost a year now.

[EmperorDuckie]

Right now I’m not worried about a relationship. Just worried about the hurt friendship, and tbh, her.

[Spiderus_Prime]

@MaximusPrimal & @EmporerDuckie

Relationships are overrated. You can be single and still perfectly happy.

Well sometimes it isn't the case, being single sometimes kills you, before realization that someone actually love you.

[Fershizzledizzle]

Agreed. You have to be your own person wether you're in a relationship or not. I know some people as well as myself at one point who felt like we weren't "complete" if we didn't have a girlfriend.

[Hawkflight]

I've tried telling myself that many times and I've still been suffering emotionally for almost a year now.

From my experience, you know something is missing from your life and believe that having a partner would fill that hole. But you could also fill that whole by actualizing yourself and becoming a better person.

After my first "breakup" (in quotes because we never made it official) I was down in the dumps for the next five months, which impacted my success in school and my creativity. Once I finally snapped out of it I got a lot more out of life, still felt lonely on occasion. But then the event I described earlier in the topic happened, which was a positive experience overall despite it not leading anywhere, and now I'm living my own life and feeling very good about it.

And also. You'll have more success at relationships being self-confident and happy than just lonely. Both my almost-relationships were instigated by the other person, which meant they saw something in me. The first was when I was at a very high place mentally, the second was me becoming hyperactive due to excitement.

[MaximusPrimal]

From my experience, you know something is missing from your life and believe that having a partner would fill that hole. But you could also fill that whole by actualizing yourself and becoming a better person

It's not really that I feel incomplete. More so that I feel horribly lonely.

It also doesn't help that what romantic experience I have had, isn't at all positive.

It all started way back in the 6th grade, where I started crushing on this one girl really hard, and didn't really get over that until my first year of high school.

Towards the end of that same year I got into an actual relationship with another girl, and while I enjoyed it at the time, she was constantly trying to rush things and do things we really shouldn't have been. It wasn't until after we split that I learned she never really cared about me to begin with, was insulting me behind my back, and was cheating on me while we were dating.

Since then I've had two hopeless crushes that while they're short lived, they still hurt to go through. Every time I try to tell myself I can't fall for them because I know how its going to end. If I fall in love with anyone again I'm only setting myself up for failure, disappointment, and pain.

But at the same time feeling the affection of someone else who genuinely cares about me just feels like something I need. At times the loneliness can feel suffocating.

[Tarkur]

To be honest I think @MaximusPrimal brings up a good point here but I can see the choice of living alone working.

I just believe that we as humans need to feel like were appreciated and loved by at least someone close to us. You can totally live on your own and take care of yourself but If you don't have any friends or family that you for sure knows cares about your well being then your gonna feel terrible lonesome. I've been through that more than once in my life and it is feeling like the world is against you or that you feel alone in this world. Of course if you have friends and family that you know cares about you then great. If you've accomplished the things above then living alone isn't as big of an issue.

As for finding a possible partner have to do with much the same reasons and I think this quote sums it up quite nicely: "You want to be loved, in lack there off you want to be admired, in lack there off you want to be feared, in lack there off you want to be hated and disdained. You as a human want to instill an emotion in others."

[EmperorDuckie]

Honestly I’m the other way around. I want to give love and encouragement. Obviously that’s not the only reason for a relationship, but that rly appeals to me about it.

[MaximusPrimal]

So I've been putting a lot of thought into my situation, and I realized something.

Just about everyone there is wants to be in some kind of relationship, but different people look for different things they want in that relationship.

I realized that the thing I want most in a relationship, is someone who cares. Someone who is just as supportive and caring to me as I am for them. I want someone who will be concerned for my well being the same way I would for them.

The first (and only) girlfriend I've ever had, I cared so much about her. I poured myself into this one person, doing everything I possibly could to care and support them. I was worried when she was sad or upset, excited for the things she was, and there for her when she needed me.

I put my heart and soul into our relationship, only to later find out that none of it was reciprocated. Everything she ever did was just an act. I felt so used, betrayed, and hurt. To find out that all my love care and effort, was for nothing.

All I want is someone who will care about me the same way I would care about her...

[EmperorDuckie]

Well worded.

[MaximusPrimal]

Thanks. Like I said, I put a lot of thought into what I said.

In other news, its officially been one year since I split up with my girlfriend. I have yet to decide/determine what emotions and feelings have come as a result of this.

[Fershizzledizzle]

Well, you have the right idea. Most people go into a relationship because they want to get something out of it and then it doesn't work out because one person didn't turn out to be everything they wanted. You seemed to be going into it thinking "what can I give to her?" Which (if this is the mindset of both sides) is exactly the kind of mindset that's going to work.

[Chronicler]

I asked the girl I liked out.

She said she doesn't have the same feelings toward me.

But she was super chill about it so that was great. We're still wonderful friends.

[EmperorDuckie]

Ok so at my church before youth starts I play cards with a bunch of friends. They’re mostly girls. I have a feeling at least one of them likes me but I’m not sure. I hope not because while they’re all really nice and such(I would even say I have somewhat of an interest in one of them), I’m trying to stay away from all that for now.