From the situation described the only thing I can think of, is just being there for them. So you may not be able to comfort with words, but you can comfort by presence, so just being there for them regardless is probably the better thing to do, than trying to understand them.
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congratulations on 2222nd post in the topic
I know itâs not untrue but Iâve heard that one a million times
I partly say that b/c I was on the receiving end of such a time. Where honestly when someone tried to comfort me about it, it hurt more. However, there was a few people who were just there for me, and that helped.
Sure, it is a common thing to say, but nonetheless it is true, as youâve said
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New question idk what to get her for Christmas
What sort of stuff does she like?
Rock music, guitar, piano, stickers, animals, clothes, yeah idk
Youâre good at art, right?
You could make her some stickers for her guitar/guitar case.
Iâm straight crap at art
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Naw, Iâve seen some of your artwork.
In any case, you could get her some animal stickers for her guitar stuffâŚ
And maybe something homemade, like cookies ir something.
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I donât bake lol
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You could
Making cookies ainât too hard, and itâs a good thing to do because it shows them you care.
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If I could take a moment to dump some thoughts where no one will read them.
I recently got dumped from a long-term relationship. Iâm going to keep the details vague but it really came out of nowhere. She told me âI did nothing wrongâ and that she still loved me. Not the best thing to say to the person youâre dumping. Against my better judgment Iâd even say manipulative. Truthfully she was pretty vague about the whole thing.
I was pretty distraught and looking for advice. One bit I received was that there had to be an actual reason- and that I shouldnât go looking for it. Because it would be an extremely petty, stupid reason. I found her actual reasoning anyways and it was petty. I got dumped for some pretty silly reasons, but a few good ones too. The problem though was that she didnât talk to me about it at all, she just ended things over the phone out of nowhere. In any relationship there are going to be little things that bother you, maybe not at first but youâll gradually find something. Itâs your choice if those little things are going to add up over time and eventually break the camels back or if you can work them out with your partner.
What Iâd like to impart to all of you is that no matter how much effort you put into a relationship, sometimes it just wonât work out. If both parties canât compromise & communicate, it wont last. The best thing I think anyone can do is just try to build themselves up enough to be okay the next time life deals a bad hand.
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so are you guys just friends now or uh
You donât stay friends with any ex
sâwhy you donât date coworkers
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I have to disagree here.
The way I see it, relationships should be developed in levels. First on the platonic. Get to know the other person. Form a close bond before you decide to make the very serious commitment of a romantic relationship.
Then if you do think itâs worth taking that next step, go for it. But if it doesnât work, that shouldnât discredit everything thatâs been done before. Friends and partners are two very different kinds of bonds with different implications and responsibilities. Just because a romantic connection doesnât work, does not mean a platonic connection wonât either.
I myself have been making an effort to reconnect with my ex after I found some stuff out. I felt really bad for the way I had been villianizing her all this time, because I found out a lot of the stuff I was mad at her about likely werenât true. So I reached out to her again, and over the past couple months Iâve enjoyed getting to talk to her again. We donât talk often, but when we do itâs nice. And I can tell she appreciates the effort because she also makes the effort to start a conversation every now and again.
If you break up with someone, donât cut them out of your life. Of course a lot of this depends on context and the circumstances around the breakup, but the idea that one just shouldnât try to be friends with an ex partner just doesnât seem right to me.
pretty sure the White Stripes would beg to differ
also I have a friend who still talks to most of his exes
Not always the truth.
I mean, even Henry VIII stayed friends with one of his wives.
âŚone of the ones he didnât killâŚ
And many of my friends stay friends with their exes. Just because they werenât a good couple doesnât mean they arenât great as friends.
Okay everybody
Jctonâs got the right Idea - sometimes you can only comfort. And youâve heard it a million times because itâs true.
My Girlfriend is a Mortician. She sees things on a daily basis that I could never dream of seeing, much less dealing with/coping with. All I can do is be there for her when things get rough - sometimes by encouraging her to explore professional therapy options, but mostly just to make dinner when sheâs going through an episode or be a shoulder to cry on when she wakes up at 4 in the morning having nightmares.
__
I know everyone drove the point home to Rise already but seriously guys do not assume that a breakup means that you cannot be friends. Obviously it is dependant on circumstances, but one of my exes and I were best friends during highschool. We dated shortly after graduation for like, 3 months, and it was really not a good match. Weâre still best friends (after about a six month cooldown).
Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
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And mathematicians.
And Iâm sure that answer is |correct|.
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