So I had a relationship. It was long distance, and lasted just under 3 months. It seems kinda ridiculous, but I really did love them, and the reason it ended has really made me hate myself. It is fascinating how an experience can be so positive, and so painful at the same time
Or it ends up in just dating, some people just donāt get married
Well, youāll eventually split. Even id you donāt consider it a breakup, it does the samw thing. You canr just date one person until rhe day you die without making tthe commitment. (Unless you met when you were old or terminally ill. But thatās a rare case.)
Asides the fact that thatās provably untrue given I know plenty of people in long term relationships who have no intention of ever getting married, and the wide variety of forms that relationships can takeā¦
Saying ārelationships either end in breakups or marriageā isnāt untrue, but itās also intentionally misleading and extreme to call a breakup a failure flat-out. Sure, some relationships fail, but others evolve, or the people in them change. It doesnāt mean the relationship failed it just means that it ended. And yes, commonly people refer to relationships that didnāt work out as āFailedā but thatās also, in a lot of ways, directly ignoring what caused those relationships to not work out in the first place. Saying the relationship failed is an easy way to say āIt wasnāt my fault, it was the relationship.ā
Also, my āAunt and Uncleā (Family Friends) have been together for the better part of 40 years, and will never get married or have kids. Why? Because they donāt see the point in it when they arenāt religious and the law treats them as married anyways, why spend the money? However, to say that because they arenāt married ātheyāll eventually splitā is both disingenuous and making a loooot of assumptions about relationships.
Just like thereās more to relationships than dates, sex, etc, thereās a lot more to relationships than marriage. I respect the people who say they wonāt date people if they canāt see them marrying that person, as thatās perfectly valid. However, if getting married is your only goal than youāre not dating to find a partner, youāre dating to get married, and thatās doomed to fail as well.
Point is relationships take a lot of different forms, whether youāre monogamous or not, or serious or not. Dating for the sake of Marriage can be just as bad if not worse as dating for the sake of dating. Not only that, but marriage is A: Primarily a religious institution, and B: A legal contract. Nothing more, nothing less, and you can absolutely make a commitment to someone in the long term without getting married.
I did point out that there are rare cases. The examples you gave are obviously in the minority. And while yes, marriage is a religious creation, the vast majority of people in the world happen to be religious in some sense. And while, yas again, a nonreligious person can be in a happy relationship with anothrr person without ascribing to marriage without feeling any moral negativity, as I said, they would be the minority, with even the majority of nonreligious relationships partaking in marriage.
All of my girlfriends (besides one) transitioned into friends right after. Breakups are negative in connotation. If the relationship simply changes, then there isnāt an end. Just a ā ā ā ā ā .
I feel what I said was misconstrued, and I had said this in an attempt to fix the statement.
I think itās misconstrued because, again, you seem to have a very black and white view on the subject. Thereās no one way to have a relationship, or one end goal for a relationship. Everyone is different.
Some people want to find someone they can settle down with, have kids, and live a comfortable life. Others want a travel partner. Some would like all of the above, with the caveat that they want someone to build a live with not just someone to inhabit the life they built for themselves.
Honestly, it all depends on the people. And that Minority is steadily growing year after year, just the same as our Generation is trending towards having far fewer children than our parents.
Also, again, saying āIf you arenāt married youāre eventually going to split, even if it isnāt a breakupā is again, very extreme. I would also like to defer to the Pew Research Center, specifically this article that details some interesting statistics. The Marriage Rate is falling overall, for a variety of reasons both personal and economical.
Like I said, I donāt necessarily disagree with your stance, I just disagree with the notion that the only two outcomes are Marriage or Breakup.
Yes, I will admit, a more open wording would be more appropriate.
Sometimes it works like that. My grandparents were 15 when they started dating. Depends on the person and the situation in general
EDIT: a few months ago my friend put me in a gc with her friend trying to set us up, and just the past couple days Iāve started to have interest idk if she likes me tho, and Iād prefer she not cuz itās a rly good friendship and I donāt want it hurt by anything too soon
You must have a great friend then
None of my friends who are females would be the sort to do thatā¦
Which is fine. I donāt know the first thing about dating.
Ah this friend is a bit of a matchmaker. At least with me. She accidentally set me up in like November. That was very brief and completely pointless
Ah, yes. The matchmakers. Or in my case, itās the rumor-spreading younger siblings.
I may or may not have mentioned in this topic that, usually, Iāll never truly develop feelings for someone unless I believe that person likes me - which happened twice thanks to the rumor-spreading younger siblings, and one by the one that actually said she liked me (see my above post circa August 2018.)
āAll you need is loveā
The blood of my enemies is a acceptable substitute.
Heck yeah
It done just got complicado mis amigos. I shall update you in due time.
Dunno if I said this, but I asked the girl I like to the spring dance weāre havingā¦
and she said yes.
Yay!
However, she just told me that sheās going on a trip and wonāt be able to go.
Oof.
Guess Iāll be a lonerā¦ I think two of my good friends are going, though, so Iāll just hang out with them.
Man all this talk about proms and girlsā¦I need a dateā¦since Iāll have prom next year. Dang this Germans always copying Americans!
But sie problems my friends isā¦I have no girl which I can ask out, either they got boyfriends and all that or they arenāt interested in me and others arenāt my type and appeal.
Be a loser like me and just donāt go