Yeah, I'm pretty much with ProfSrlojohn on this. Sure it's cliche, but went too slow. I don't have a problem with the major beats (incident, rejection, resolution), but the in-between conversations didn't help too much.
To specify, I thought Axis's initial rejection when Maximus tried to approach again was fine, just that the two characters had too many conversations in-between. Especially Maximus, who talked to a lot of people with little difference in advice. Now granted, there certainly needed to be some filler as just going from starting incident to rejection to rage fight to resolution would feel very weird (unless with Prof route's and cut out the two middle sections) without it.
Though ultimately I think it being in RP is the major problem for pacing. Not because of the other player characters (not to say it didn't contribute in pacing problems), but the IRL days that passed between each scene. When read just straight through, it's not that terrible, but drip feed by the days, weeks, it took to get here because of RP time it feels a lot longer.
For another example, the All-Spark mission with my Minicons may seem like it just dropped off the face of the earth. And if you forgot about it, don't worry, it has been weeks since last mentioned. However, in the story as a whole and in the IC timeline, it has taken a minor breather. You might not even have noticed if it wasn't for the lull of time that is how forum RPs run.