One day I went to see a therapist for my antisocial behavior. I told him I often said the wrong things without meaning to, which often got people upset. He told me that if I was never sure of what they wanted, I should ask. I said thank you, paid the man, and left.
Later that evening, I'm with a friend at her house. I usually house sit for her while she goes on blind dates. She comes in wearing this incredibly thin dress, you could see every roll of fat on her body. She looks at me, and asks;
"Does this dress make me look fat?"
Now normally I would say yes. But out of concern, I decided to do what the therapist told me to. I looked at my friend, a brief of confidence, and said;
"Depends, are you trying to gain weight?"
The day after, I go back to the therapist for a follow-up appointment. I sit down in the chair across from him and he looks at me. I have one black eye, bandage plugs in my nose, and four missing teeth. He asks me;
"Did you take my advice?"
"Depends, do you want to keep your job?"