A Bionicle Series: The Future, Episode 3

DISCLAIMER: Episode Two can be found here: (( C&C is always welcomed. ))

Episode Three - Valiaah Alone

Recapitulation of previous episode
Vahix: (yelling) Get Valiaah out of here!
Pooki nods and escorts Valiaah out, leaving the Toa behind.
The rest of the Toa finally manage to fight the two off. Kupek summoned a pair of cuffs from the stone slabs, encasing the two of them in the said cuffs.
Moments later the Police department arrives and arrests the two. Dravahk is there too.
Valiaah: (in pain) Ugh… Cheif… agh… The Lord escaped… begh…
Recapitulation ends

It would be several days since the Toa fought against the Dark Hunter Lord Tahnok. While most of the Toa came out unharmed, Valiaah did not. The Toa of Ice suffered great wounds at the hands of his mysterious servants. Now, he seeks to recover but nothing helped so far - not even the great menders of Ga-Matoran origin could help. - Could this be the Toa’s end?

Toa Valiaah is leaving the Toa Spire while still being in a great pain. His body is wrapped in bandages and a backpack rests atop his shoulder. The Toa would keep quiet as he slowly walked out of the Spire and among the city.

Eventually, he’d come to a zeppelin station, ready with ticket in his hand. The flight board displayed a flight to Ko-Wahi. Soon, the Zeppelin would arrive and Valiaah would board it.

Valiaah: (In his own mind while a letter is shown to us, displaying the same words.) It pains me to do this, brothers… but for as long as I lead you, you wont be safe… I hope you understand. - Valiaah

The shot is cut back to the Toa Spire, Vahix is reading the notes with the other Toa.
Vahix: I can’t believe he would do this…
Pooki: (angry) And what did you expect? - He is a Toa of Ice after all… I knew he was a trouble.
Lanuka: That’d be enough of bickering for today, both of you! Wherever Valiaah is, I’m afraid its not safe…
Lanuka looked at the nearby Toa of Water.
Lanuka: Nihli - you were with Valiaah yesterday, right?
Nihli, the Toa of water nodded.
Nihli: I was helping the menders with Valiaah’s pain… But he didn’t want us there… so we left for the night - (interrupted)
Pooki: (Sporadic, Angry, Paranoid) You left him there!? - ALONE?! And they say I’m the crazy one.
Lanuka: Pooki, stop already… This wont help bring Valiaah back.
Vahix: Lanuka is right… we need to find him, not talk about him.
Pooki: Right… since I seem to be the only reasonable person here today, ironically. I’m going to start the painter and print some posters.
The Toa began preparations to take action in finding their missing teammate, printing posters of Valiaah, asking locals and searching the whole city.

Meanwhile, Valiaah has already arrived to Ko-Wahi amidst a horrible snowstorm. He was suddenly stopped by a Matoran, carrying flag poles with him.
Matoran: You shouldn’t go now, great Toa… this is the worst blizzard we had in months.
Valiaah ignored him and walked away, into the storm, that is.
Matoran: (yelling) WAIT! - You really… should… not. (angry) Bah, why do I bother anyways.

As Valiaah walked through the snowy plains, his joints grew colder and more rusty by each moment, regardless the Toa of Ice would press on through the Storm
Valiaah: (in his mind) They say a great Rahi lives here… the last of his kind… One that knows how to cure my sickness… my injury and this strange affliction… They call him Keetongu.
Suddenly Valiaah has heard a growl. Something was stalking him in the blizzard. He looked behind himself only to see a pair of yellow eyes flashing in the foggy and rugged terrain. He would recognize those eyes anywhere - It was a Muaka.
Valiaah: Show yourself, beast! - Where is your master!
A growl was heard again. Valiaah looked around, holding onto his wound.
Valiaah: Enough of hide-n’-seek!
Valiaah dismissed the snowstorm around him, holding it out so that he could see the Muaka. Surprisingly, the beast was not tame nor was it stalking the Toa as it’s pray. Instead, it’s front right leg was injured, it had sadness in it’s eyes not hunger or rage. Valiaah dropped his elemental powers so that he could approach the Muaka.
Valiaah: Looks like I’m not the only one injured… Poor thing…
Valiaah inspected the wound and tore off a piece of his bindings. He’d wrap the bandage around the Muaka’s leg. Once done, he would press on through the storm, the Muaka followed him.
Valiaah: I would ask you, why you are here… But something tells me you can’t understand my tongue.
The Muaka growled lazily. Valiaah soon saw something in the distance. It was a great chasm, spanning miles across.
Valiaah: Here it is… the Frostspire Canyon. Looks like here’s where our paths divide.
The Muaka stood alongside Valiaah, not wanting to leave him. Valiaah only nodded, understanding the animal’s loyal yet harsh nature - He saw his own reflection in it.
Valiaah hooked a piece of rope atop the ridge, descending down the chasm - The Muaka crawled down using it’s hooked feet. Once both of them were down, the whole canyon seemed like a maze. Valiaah and the Muaka set off to walk among the corridors.

Suddenly, they arrived at a large gate made out of ice. There was an inscription written in the old Matoran language. Valiaah barely understood it. He proceeded to read it.
Valiaah: (broken) He who has one eye… He who beneath this mountain lay… He who downed a tyrant king, Keetongu… mighty is his being…
Valiaah touched the gate, melting the Ice down slowly. Suddenly - a large hallway appeared before him.
Together with the Muaka he descended into the pass.
Valiaah: This hall… it feels oddly familiar… yet so distanced…
All of the sudden, a single misstep of Valiaah’s activated an ancient mechanism of traps. Arrows were shot onto the Toa of Ice. Luckily, he did manage to dodge.

At long last, the Toa arrived into a large chamber, filled with lightstone, something that was not used for lightning since the Great City was built. Valiaah looked around in confusion, again he would step onto a tile. He was expecting a trap but instead a large podium appeared. - On the said podium stood a gigantic coffin.
Valiaah managed to read the inscription.
Valiaah: Here lays the old master of venom… The valiant defender of his home - Keetongu, the last of his kind.
Valiaah looked shocked.
Valiaah: No… no… (angry) NOOO!
He smashed his hand into the coffin, suddenly the room started to glow in a bright white color. A figure appeared before him - slowly taking a shape of a Toa - Toa of Ice to be more specific.
Valiaah sharpened his sight and sighed in disbelief - Toa Kopaka stood before him, or his spirit, that is.
Kopaka: I didn’t build this tomb to see my children destroy it one day, Valiaah…
Valiaah: T-…T…Toa Kopaka.
Kopaka: Toa -… It was very long since anyone called me a Toa, needless to say - Not many people tend to visit these days…
Valiaah: I… I don’t understand… You are supposed to be- (interrupted)
Kopaka: Dead! - I know and I am… What you see before you is a mere echo of my past… of your past.
Valiaah: But why now… why appear to me - after all the centuries…
Kopaka: Because you are the first Toa to venture into these halls since my time… Now, I believe you didn’t find what you were looking for… But hear me out: You do not need to cure your wounds… You need to cure your mind - I observed your actions from the stars above - and I still do…
Valiaah stood quiet, still in shock.
Kopaka: You were quite reckless and hard onto your friends… onto your team. - It seems that we are more alike than I originally thought…
Valiaah: And you came here only to mock my failure, spirit?!
Kopaka: No… I came to prevent it. Return home, the Toa need you.
Kopaka’s spirit disappeared into nothingness. Valiaah, in wake of this massage jumped onto the back of the Muaka, aiming back to the village, back to the zeppelin port and eventually back to The Great City, right into the Toa Spire.
Valiaah: Brothers… I have returned and with a dire warning!
Pooki: Oh… here you are! - And looks like you are even crazier… FANTASTIC!
Lanuka: Hush, Pooki… Excuse him, Pooki was out of his mind when we learned that you left us behind…
Vahix stood in the background, looking off into the distance while leaned against the wall, saying nothing onto Valiaah’s arrival while the other Toa greeted him.
Pooki: Great… Now that we are all reunited, you could also tell us the message… Just a suggestion!
Valiaah: Right. I struck out into Ko-Wahi to find a mythical mender… One that could heal my wounds, instead - I found something much greater… And much more disturbing, I’m afraid. The spirit of Toa Kopaka appeared to me and warned me of something… That you need me.
Pooki: (sarcastic) Fantastic - so a spirit told you what we knew all along… Wow, what a meaningful journey.
Valiaah: No… It was - different. I feel like a great shadow is looming above us.
Nihli: Is anybody going to mention the Muaka at our doorsteps?.. Anyone?

To be continued…

I’d recommend working on transition between phrases. For example, the below statement switches actions very quickly, and may benefit from something along the lines of “Before they could attack again, Kupek summoned…”

Also, some parts of this make it seem more like a film script than story designed to be read.

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Thanks, I really appreciate the help. Transition is something I struggle with, yeah.

Disclaimer of the first episode says it it’s technically written like a script because I find writing scripts enjoyable. :stuck_out_tongue: