Alanar Version 2

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Warning: Huge wall of text and pictures ahead

So, as usual I’ll present the MOC with the backstory between the pictures, but I’ll say right now that this one ended up being a lot longer than I initially intended.

Alanar is one of the ‘Sisters of the Skrall,” the female counterparts to the fearsome Skrall warriors that invaded Glatorian and Agori lands from the north some time before Mata Nui arrived on Bara Magna. She doesn’t quite share her sisters’ fanatical hatred for the Skrall’s decision to leave them behind, but dislikes them for her own reasons all the same.

Meet Alanar

Named Daryu-al-Torili at birth, she was the first of her generation in the prominent Toril warrior lineage in Skrall society. As she grew up, her mother was supposed to teach her the duties and manners expected of a high-born Skrall woman, but her unexpected death left young Daryu to spend most of her time with her younger male cousins. She participated in the play-fighting and later sparring with them that would prepare the male Skrall to serve as warriors in the army, and although she was looked down upon for doing so, she proved very capable of handling herself in a fight, frequently embarrassing her cousins who were often punished afterwards for having been beaten by a woman.

Closer view of the face and upper body. The ‘clothes’ are very crude, but it’s my first time trying to put anything like clothes on a MOC.

When she reached the age at which a male skrall would formally join the army, Daryu signed up as well. Although it wasn’t technically illegal, a female joining the army was highly frowned upon, since they were expected to feed, clothe, and generally supply the army’s soldiers and bear their children, as opposed to signing up to fight themselves. Daryu found herself having to fight the army’s command structure at almost every step of her training, frequently having to meet higher standards than the other recruits to ‘prove her worth’ and having to work to ‘earn’ her first sword and shield, rather than just being given the old equipment of a retiring or fallen warrior as was customary for everyone else. Daryu’s one ally through all this was a young male Skrall by the name of Kahzar, who joined her unit shortly after she did and was impressed by her combat prowess. On a number of occasions, he jumped to her defense when a superior officer tried to have her dishonorably dismissed for small and often manufactured grievances. In time, Kahzar and Daryu would strike up a relationship, with culminated with their official coupling about two years after they’d entered the army. Kahzar was eventually promoted to become the new leader of the unit, which for the time being meant an end to Daryu’s constant fight against officers who continuously tried to get her kicked out in spite of her excellent track record.

The side view, not much to see here.

When patrols on the borders of Skrall territory began to vanish and reports came in of an invisible enemy encroaching from the north, Daryu’s unit was one of several sent that way to attempt to engage and destroy the threat. They fought the creatures, now dubbed ‘Baterra’ on at least two occasions, both times escaping with heavy casualties, while several other units were utterly wiped out. The continued losses, along with the deaths of several leader-class Skrall, finally convinced the remaining leaders to start the whole tribe on a migration south, to conquer everything in their way while putting some distance between them and the Baterra. When the migration began, Daryu’s unit was one of several ‘rear-guards’ that moved behind the main population to ward off the pursuing Baterra. This was when their luck ran out; in a mountain pass, they were ambushed by a large group of Baterra, who slaughtered all but four of the Skrall in the unit, including Kahzar. Daryu herself had miraculously escaped, but not without sustaining a severe injury on her right leg, which would never fully heal. When the straggled survivors returned to the camp the Skrall had set up for the night, they were denounced as ‘defeated,’ a terrible insult to a Skrall, and the unit was summarily disbanded. The other Skrall in the unit were reassigned to one work-duty or another, but the officials responsible for the disbanding were still looking for a scapegoat. They found one in Daryu.

Nyran shot. Thanks to lighting and thin cloth, some detail of the leg construction is visible, but suffice to say there’s nothing revolutionary about it.

One of the officials was in fact one of Daryu’s cousins, who’d been punished numerous times growing up for having been defeated in sparring by her, and now saw his opportunity to get even. The defeat was blamed solely on Daryu, with an unusually thorough report of how the presence of a female within an army unit had somehow weakened it so severely that they didn’t have a chance against the advancing Baterra. This, of course, ignored the fact that all-male units had fared no better, but Daryu was dishonorably dismissed from the army all the same, only saved from execution by the grudging realization of the high command that a full execution ceremony would slow the migration down too much, and the dishonored Skrall might still prove herself useful in more traditional female roles. Having been betrayed by the regime which she had done her best to serve all her life, disowned by her family for first serving in the army as a female and then losing a battle on top of it, and having lost her partner and the only person sympathetic to her cause, Daryu changed her name to Alanar, meaning “bereaved.”

Head detail. I know that using these chains for hair isn’t exactly original (though it’s usually paired with a Rahkshi head from what I can tell), but i really like how it turned out all the same.

Though she still cursed her cousin’s name at every opportunity, Alanar never turned her anger at the whole of the Skrall leadership. With her now withered right leg, she doubted she’d be much use in the front lines anyway, and instead offered to clean and repair the equipment of other warriors, as well as making simple clothes out of whatever fabric she could get her hands on. Having fought on the rear-guard, though, she was one of the few who realized that the migration was moving way too slowly. When, a few months after her dismissal from the army, the decision was made to leave the female population behind so the army could move more quickly and escape the Baterra, she was frustrated but not furious, understanding the army’s reasoning even if it would likely lead to her death. Still, at this point she was content just to see the Skrall be destroyed entirely. When the army moved out in the morning, threatening to kill any female Skrall who dared to try and follow, she merely stood and watched the units march by, silently praying that the Baterra would catch up to them regardless, after they’d finished of her and the other sisters.

Back view with clothes removed, to show the body construction in more detail.

The Baterra never did attack those left behind, though; the sisters never even saw one of them again. Instead, the sisters made a living as best they could in the harsh mountains. Alanar, now using a walking stick to cope with her bad leg, eventually tamed a Kiriko, a flightless bird-like creature that could use its incredible eyesight to locate food of any kind, almost anywhere in sight. She’s since built a small stone hut on the edge of the sisters’ small territory, where she’s quite content to live out her days, figuring that the male Skrall have probably been wiped out by now.

End of wall of text

TL:DR version: I made a Sister of the Skrall MOC, my first time using clothes of any kind on a Bionicle creation. Her name’s Alanar.

4 Likes

I wouldn’t say it’d be controversial. I think. We’d be curious to see how it looks. Besides, Nuva breasts are just ridiculed for how overused or how they oversexualize a MOC, but this one seems fine

Anyway the MOC itself is alright. I wouldn’t mind sacrificing the hair for a skrall helmet, but she’s alright

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I added a link to the last picture on the post. Also, wouldn’t a Skrall helmet count as armor? A hood, though…

looks

NEVERMIND REMOVE

Why’d you use that piece?! They don’t have mammary glands!?

Also what’s the problemo with a Skrall Helmet

Aren’t Glatorian supposed to be a lot more organic? I suppose how much is up to interpretation, but I figured basically humans with a few cybernetic implants and joints here and there…

BUT THEY DONT HAVE THOSE

Sure reproductive organs

But did kiina or any other glatorian have any?

I’m not sure… never seen official art of Kiina minus her armor. That probably wouldn’t fall under ‘official’ anyways.

  • Advertises DA account… doesn’t have a link anywhere XD

I just want to clarify that the following is entirely my own opinion, and should not be taken as absolute fact.

The whole MOC, and especially the upper torso, seems open and unarmored. The would be fine if you pulled off an organic vibe, which you don’t here. I’m not a fan of the cloak, and I utterly despise “hair” on MOCs. Like, it’s literally made up of chains. It doesn’t look like hair. It looks like chains on a robot’s head. It would look a lot better with a black Glatorian helmet, probably either Skrall or Atakus.

And yes, I checked the DA page. It doesn’t look any better without the cloak.

Final Slime Score: 3/10 for an interesting weapon.

4 Likes

I would agree with @JMP, It wouldn’t be controversial.

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I agree with Slime here.

Also, why would you want to make a MOC look that much like an organic? Especially if you’re going to put clothes on it. It’s pointless if you ask me.

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It is

There’s literal nipples

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Hey Skrall Sister, I don’t wanna miss a single thing you do~

Nicely done! XD I made a Skrall sister waaaaaaay back. They’re not the easiest of builds, but you’ve done well (and definitely better than my first attempt… a single long axel for a waist was not good…). I do think she might benefit from some mixels joints and custom limbs for more of a skinny look, maybe. The staff could be improved with some spikes and/or studs too look more wooden as well, perhaps.

Added link after JMP’s first reaction, removed it after the 2nd. Wasn’t sure whether to put it back up again or not, so I just removed the reference altogether.

Well, the sisters don’t wear armor, and from what I know (I could be wrong) the Glatorian and Skrall are far more organic than Toa or Matoran. I figured simple clothing was appropriate. It was also an excuse to mess with fabric, which I’ve learned I definitely don’t have the right tools for.

Believe me, even though this is only the second version I’ve dared to post online, I’ve rebuilt and reworked the torso something like twelve times, and I’m still not totally satisfied with it.

I haven’t really incorporated system parts in MOCs before, but you’re right that it could be a major improvement. I’ll keep that in mind for the next time I tear her apart to redesign her again.

@Political_Slime thanks for the honest criticism. Any suggestions as to how I could better pull off the ‘organic vibe’?

Well, I guess that stick is cool.

Use less mechanical elements. The Glatorian head, the limbs, and the torso all look very blocky and inorganic. Try more rounded custom limbs,

I understand that’s a bit difficult to pull off, especially with a lack of parts, which is why I suggest making her more armored, thus making the mechanical aspects less out of place.

That would probably work well with curved system pieces and mixel joints instead of old Bionicle parts… I’ll try that.

Why was I invited to this topic…?

OK, so it’s an organic look you seek, eh? Well, here’s a bit of advice:

  1. the upper arms. I understand it’s supposed to be “unarmored” but as it is, the lower arm is so much wider than the upper arm. A piece of Inika armor or Metru thigh armor here would work wonders, at the least.

  2. the lowe legs. The way that piece angles back sharply doesn’t look organic, unless you want an insectoid look, You could pretty much use any piece but that one and it would be better. Kek, even the Hordika legs look more organic.

  3. those shoulders. As it stands, it looks like she’s the worlds skinniest woman and her shoulder bones are poking through her skin. Shoulders should slope up to the neck.

  4. the hair. Those chains just don’t resemble hair, and axles sticking out of the head are bad unless you’re name is Frankenstein. My advice, either use a Mata arm, or, if it’s flowing hair you so desire, minifig chains. Those are smaller and not so obviously chains.

Well, that’s all I can really say, the rest looks great. Hope that helps.

######P.S.: bahrag boobz

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@21sselliW Thanks for the advice. I’ll start looking for chains :slight_smile:

It’s pretty bare-bones (quite literally) and, as you say, isn’t that interesting, but I love your backstory for her.