Comradery Falling

Prologue) Returning Home

While flying through the starry expanse of space, a winged humanoid figure, skeletal and clad in silver and glowing green energy, gets a mental messages. "Runa! Wherever you are, get back to Garius, and quickly, we have some...problems." An attack from another species?! Runa thought to himself, unable to return the message, and he flew faster, eager to get home and fight the invaders.

For those of you that like this story so far, I've got chapters 1 and 2 as rough drafts and 3 is being worked on, so expect more soon! C+C welcome and appreciated.

1 Like

I like where you're starting. If you want some advice as to how you can improve the dramatic quality of your work, try showing us why characters feel or act a certain way; try not to just tell us.

1 Like

Alright, thanks! I'll be sure to keep that in mind.

1 Like

I like where you're starting. If you want some advice as to how you can improve the dramatic quality of your work, try showing us why characters feel or act a certain way; try not to just tell us.

1 Like

Chapter One) What Problems?

As he flew, Runa approached a star system. It had four planets. The first two were barren, only a storm on the second and nothing on the first. The third was a toroidal planet, vibrant and full of life, and the fourth was a gas giant. Runa flew straight into the gas giant, creating a bubble of green energy around himself to shield from damage. As he neared the core, he flew into an area in the planet that was calm, holding nothing but a space station of sorts. Runa let down the bubble and proceeded into the station. The inside was a dark black-ish purple, with the texture of rock. He looked around for any invaders, but everything seemed as usual. He walked over to a large spire and was about to walk into a door-shaped hole in it as someone else walked out and bumped into him.
They were slightly shorter than Runa and had the same winged, silver-skeletal body as Runa, although they had glowing blue energy in place of Runa's green, along with long horns pointing back and down of the same blue.
"Runa!" She said in surprise. "Good thing your here."
"Feturu, what's wrong? Who attacked us?!" Runa asked in a confused and distressed tone.
Feturu sighed. "I have a lot of explaining to do, don't I?"

1 Like

Chapter Two) Inner Turmoil

Feturu started talking. "I got a vision of the future. Normal so far, right? But this one was different. It was of Coron and an army of the Kaiko Drones fighting against us and Necronis, and winning. Usually pretty unlikely as a future, but I've seen signs of it starting already.
Runa was shocked. "Coron, really? The Dealer of Death is our comrade, our friend! Heck, I even see him as a brother! Why would he fight us?"
"There's more. In the vision, he defeats Necronis and takes his powers, using them and his position as the new Death to destroy everything in sight. As I said, I've seen signs of it already. He's been making deals with the Kaiko Drones, most likely for their service, and is no doubt doing the same with the inhabitants down on Chlodean."
Runa took a step back. "No, I don't believe it. Ima go talk to him."
"Good luck." Feturu told him. "No ones seen him since shortly after you left."
"Then I'll search for him."

Chapter 3) Search for the Truth

Runa started his search for Coron by talking to Gaduur. Gaduur was a glowing purple and silver skeletal being, with large wings. He was at least double Runa's height and was built, like a living wall.
"Gaduur, have you seen Coron?" Gaduur shrugged and shook his head no. "Quiet as always, I see. Any area where he might be, Keeper of Death?" Once again, Gaduur shrugged, and he pointed towards a large doorway. "You're right, Boko might know better. Thanks anyways!" Runa said as he walks off, Gaduur waving bye as he goes.
Runa walks into the doorway, looking around what was seemingly a library. At a desk in the center of the room was a short woman, skeletal and silver and glowing yellow, horns of the same color pointing downwards from her head. "Chronicler of Death, my friend!" Runa says, walking over to her.
"Shut up, Runa, I'm busy." She says, not looking up from her writing.
"Boko, I need your help. Do you know where Coron is?
"Could you use your powers to check?"
"I could, but why should I?" Boko asks. Runa tells her what Feturu had told him. She looked up from her work. "Really?" She asked, truly concerned. "Alright, I'll help." Her eyes went from there normal red to the same yellow as her horns. "He's down on Chlodean, making deals with as many mortals as possible, most likely building an army for this proposed battle." She says as her eyes return to normal.
"Alright, I'll go talk to him." Runa says, running off.

Chapter 4) Confrontation

Runa runs towards the center of the station, where there is a large white circle on the blackish-purple ground. He stands in the center and puts his right hand forwards. He is then engulfed in a white light and is sent down to the toroidal planet of Chlodean. When he arrives in a matter of seconds, he starts flying at near Mach speed, searching the planet for Coron. When he finds him, he is making a deal with a mortal. "Coron!" he yells to him. Coron was a winged, skeletal being of red and silver, slightly taller than Runa, horns jutted forwards from his head, curving upwards slightly near the end, and a tail came from his back, with one large spike and two small ones coming off the end. Coron looks up to see Runa, as does the mortal, although he looks confused. As Runa lands, Coron starts talking. "Ah, Runa, my comrade! How good to see you! How was your trip to...where even did you go? The mortal looks at Coron as if he was crazy and runs off.
"It was good, and I don't even know, it was too strange of a place to describe, but that's besides the point. I came to ask you a question.
"And what would that be?" Coron inquires, his almost demonic looking tail flicking.
"I've heard that you're trying to overthrow Necronis, to lead the station yourself. Is this true?"
"Why yes, it is, and I was hoping you'd help."
Runa looked at him surprised. "No, I won't help you! Why would you do such a thing?!"
Coron sighed. "I don't know why I figured you you'd understand." he says, spite in his voice. You're so young, you weren't here before Necronis became Death."
Runa stepped back. "What's so bad about him that you want to kill him?!"
"His method." Coron was getting increasingly more agitated. "When Necronis has still the Bringer of Death, the former Death, Mortama, had much different methods to the position. Mortama has a much more active Death, yet when Necronis came along, he didn't like this. From what I've heard, he'd been planning to to overthrow Mortama long before I arrived, but he only rebelled pretty soon after I became Dealer. Everyone was behind him, except for me, I stayed at Mortama's side as he was defeated and Necronis took his place as Death. Necronis is much to passive for my liking, waiting for people to age to Death to bring them over, instead of killing all of them himself, or using his army to do so." Coron monologued as he stretched out. Then, red energy formed in his hands. "If you won't help me, then I guess I'll have to make sure you don't stop me." The energy formed into a pair of arm blade weapons, then the energy broke away to reveal the weapons are of metal-like materials. "I wish I didn't have to do this."

Chapter 5) The Start of War

Runa creates green energy in his hand that shapes into a scythe shape, then it breaks to show metal. Electric like green energy starts flowing back from the scythe head. "Coron, you don't have to do this."
"I don't?" Coron replies, obviously bitter. He runs up and tries to bash his bladed forearm Runa's chest, aiming for the shining green crystal. "Then why do you try to stop me?!" Runa drops down and kicks out Coron's legs and slices up, barely missing the red crystal in Coron's chest and slices right through the shoulder.
"Because I know this isn't what you want to do!" The wound starts healing immediately.
"Oh, isn't it?" Coron shoots a blast of red energy at Runa. "News to me." The blast hits Runa's hand, disintegrating it and the scythe. Runa extends the claw gauntlet on his other forearm as his hand regenerates.
"Please, Coron, stop! You've adapted to Necronis' ways for this long!" He says as he uppercuts Coron in the gut. Coron jumps over it and hits Runa in the chest, cracking it as Runa falls to the ground.
"For 1 million, 67 thousand ******* YEARS!!" Coron says, standing over Runa, ready to deal a killing blow. "But it won't be like that much longer."
Suddenly, Coron is blasted aside by a blue ball of energy, his impact creating a dust cloud. While Coron was recovering from the blast, unable to see through the dust, Feturu came over and took a heavily weakened Runa back to Garius Station to recover from the crack going halfway along his crystal, his powers and strength greatly reduced.

Chapter 6) Feelings of Betrayal

Runa woke up in a decent sized room in the station. He tried to stand, but he almost fell and had to brace himself against a stalagmite. At that moment, Feturu walks in. "Runa! Lay back down, you're weakened." Runa lays down and looks at Feturu. but before he could talk, Feturu cut him off. "I know you can barely believe it, but Coron truly has betrayed us. There isn't anything we can do to change his mind, he's now the enemy."
"But that's not him!" Runa said weakly. "He...he wouldn't do this."
"Runa, we're basically demigods! What under the Eternal Stars could be making him do this besides himself! Think about it, Runa." Feturu said, almost choking up.
Runa tries getting up again, but fails. "But why? Why would he do it?"
"I..." Feturu sighs. "I don't know. From what he told you, it seems he just can't accept change."
Runa tries getting up once more, succeeding, but needing a spire for support. "I just wish we could change his mind."
"So do the rest of us." Feturu said, helping to to support Runa. "But we can't. Now rest, you need to heal."
"Okay." Runa says, sitting back down. "Okay..."

Man, I really should post here more regularly, and more often.

Chapter 7) Battle in the Lower Ring

"Runa!" Feturu busts through the doorway. "Half of the Reapers have disappeared!" Runa jumps up, his crystal fully healed.
"What?!" He says, shocked. "Do you think it was Coron?"
"Hard to tell, but probably." Feturu replies. "Let's go look around the station. Hope they're still here..."
They look around the top layer of the station when Boko runs over to them. "Hey!" She yells, a large hammer in hand. "The Kaiko that disappeared are attacking down in Raronoa! Come help fight!"
The three of them rush to where Runa had found the now gone Gaduur and went down down the ramp he had protected. They went down to the bottom and through a doorway, coming across a large, battle strewn area. Many normal Kaiko warriors were fighting against others that were tinted a redder shade then the usual silver and gunmetal. Gaduur was there fighting as well, attacking with a pair of large spiked flails, as what seemed to be spirits of deceased Chlodeans ran in terror. Runa materialized his scythe as before, and Feturu did the same for a rapier like weapon. The four of them started fighting alongside each other, yet as the fight continued to spread along the lower ring, they split up to cover the larger area.
Runa was slicing through the warriors with ease, as they took enough damage they would dissipate into thin air. Soon, they surrounded him and started shooting blasts of black energy. Runa blocked most of them, and those that did hit him did so in inconsequential spots. Then, he retaliated with blasts of his own, but he was soon overwhelmed. To get them off him, Runa surrounded himself in in an energy barrier and expanded it outwards, defeating some and knocking away others.
This fight continued this way for hours, but they defeated all the opposing Kaiko, restoring peace to Raronoa.
Unfortunately, they then heard a crash from above them. "****" Boko mutters under her breath.

Chapter 8) Itoitowa Battle

The group ran up to the next level, this ring being two times the size of the last, yet split in half. One half is Itoitowa, the land where the greats of Chlodean go in the afterlife, and where they had heard the crash from.
As they arrive, they saw the fearless warriors that reside here igniting against Coron's forces, as all the rest of the spirits fled. Runa and his friends joined the battle,fighting against the red Kaiko that threatened the peace of this region. During the fight, they were occasionally overwhelmed, yet they escaped from it every time. As they were swarmed and fought against the army, Boko's rage got the better of her. She started fighting more wildly, along with getting farther from the group. In this rage, she was getting swarmed on her lonesome and was hit square in the chest, thecrystal there cracking as she fell to the ground.
Runa saw her fall. "Boko!" He cried out. "Gaduur, go get her and take her back up.'' Gaduur nodded and ran over to Boko, , bashing her attackers with his maces, then picking her up and taking her back to the top level of the station to rest and heal. Meanwhile, Runa and Feturu fended off the attacking Kaiko, barely defeating them all, right before a scream was heard from coming from across the station. Feturu sighed. "Not again..."

Chapter 9) A Villainous Fight

Runa and Feturu ran to the other side of the ring, right into the other half besides Itoitowa, Kinoen. This side looked like a red cave, full of lava rivers and waterfalls, along with the tortured souls of the worst mortals to have ever walked the planet below. Here, Coron's forces were attempting to break them free to cause havoc, but Runa and Feturu wouldn't let it happen. Feturu went to take care of the attempted escapees, while Runa distracted and fought the Kaiko
As Runa fought the onslaught attacking him, he almost got overwhelmed. Many blasts of energy were coming directly at his crystal, but he dodged them so that they only hit the area around it. They approached even closer as Runa blasted at them, and he thought it was over, that he was going to be defeated. He was saved, if only barely, by Gaduur coming in, maces flailing, distracting some of them so that Runa could escape. "Glad you're back! Boko okay?"
Gaduur nodded, not letting up on his attack. Runa started slicing away at their attackers, occasionally having to group back up with Gaduur to fend them off.
The fight when on like this for some time, until Runa saw a figure running away from the fight. Runa left fighting the defectors in Gaduur's capable hands as he chased after it. When he did finally catch up, they were in the uppermost part of Garius Station. Runa caught him, and Coron was already ready to fight.

2 in one day? Witchcraft!

Chapter 10) A Brother Lost

"Runa, you're here." Coron said to Runa, materializing his armblades. "Are you ready for your demise?"
"Coron please, it's not to late to stop." Runa pleaded.
"Stop?!" Coron had a look of rage on his face, and he charged at Runa. Runa jumped over the attack and stabbed Coron's back with the bottom of his scythe, taking him to the ground.
Coron kicked Runa off of him and got up, shooting a blast at Runa. Runa dodged and darted right up to Coron, slicing upwards along his body, with his scythe. Before he got halfway along the body, Coron wrapped his tail around Runa's leg, taking him to the ground as he started to heal. He then slashed at Runa, but Runa blasted Coron, knocking him back, and the ground to create a dust cloud. "Coron!" he yells through the clouds. "Please, stop!"
"NO!" Coron yells as he attacks again. Runa rushes forwards a bit and blocks the attack, then uppercuts Coron in the gut with his claw gauntlet, then elbows him to the ground. Coron flips onto his back and tries to get up, but Runa steps on his chest, right below his crystal.
"Coron, you made me do this." He says, a tear in his eye. "I'll miss you, brother." After he says this, he attempts to shatter Coron's crystal by stabbing it with his claw gauntlet.
"No!" Coron yells as he slashes at Runa's crystal with his armblade.


Are you aware of the Rule of 3?

Epilogue) A New Dealer

The sound echoed all throughout the station. All of the fighting stopped as everyone looked upwards towards where the noise came from. They all know what the noise meant. One of the Spirits of Death had been killed.

Runa looked at Coron in horror, as Coron looked at him in rage. Coron's armblade was right against Runa's crystal, just barely not cracking it. Meawhile, Runa's claw gauntlet was deep inside Coron's crystal, having shattered it completely. "It may not be me to do it, but you will pay, you insolent little brat..." Coron said to Runa weakly. Starting from his feet, Coron started turning to dust and blowing away, sans the shards of his crystal. "" He says again right before his head wisps away in a cloud of ashy dust. Runa lets out a single tear. "Goodbye, brother."
The Kaiko were freed from Coron's control, turning back to their usual color and wondering what happened, then, everyone heard a loud voice."
"All Kaiko, including Spirits of Death, report to in front of my throne."
As they did so, Necronis began to talk again. "It is now time to choose the new Dealer of Death. The large creature, whose foot alone was the height of Gaduur, shrouded in shadow to where all you can make out above his knee was a silhouette of his form, lifted his hand. "And it is..." He pointed to the crowd and one of the Kaiko started glowing red. "You." He then transformed in a shroud of red, turning into looking quite similar to how Coron did. "Choose your new name."
The Kaiko thought carefully for a second. "Comahi." Cheering erupted in the crowd.
Runa sighed. "Congrats, little one." He said to the new Dealer. "Welcome to the family."


comments and criticism are greatly appreciated and much wanted. Tomorrow I'll try to start on the next story in this soon to be series, so stay tuned!