Deathbound [Tale of Lunnarria]

Creative Content Literature
21

Never question the notification

anyway how did you enjoy it

22

Havenā€™t read it yet
Will soonā€¦ maybe Iā€™ve got a ton of work to do

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23

you will need to update it, as it contains nothing about Kutin, and places that will undoubtedly come in the future. until then itā€™s really unneeded information about unvisited places. seems interesting though

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24

It has been Dormant but I will be getting it back in buisness

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25

Actually. The reason I brought it up was because I take issue with the statement alone. I like violence.

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26

Well you know what they say

But this Is supposed to be Building Tension

27

another ā€œbookā€ to read, I hope I donā€™t mix themā€¦

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28

@Whaddon Yeahhhhhh. I donā€™t know what they say becauseā€¦ I canā€™t look atā€¦ogg?

Itā€™s fine that itā€™s building tension. Iā€™m just saying that I disagree with the statement itself.

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29

Okay
I will be doing the second chapter soon

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30

Interested to see it. Please excuse my sad attempt at humor.

######Yes that was humor

31

Why do people summon me to literature topics? Do they think me a good literary critic or something? XD

That aside, thereā€™s dark and mysterious, then thereā€™s confusing and strange. The same scene, with the same info, can be either depending on how itā€™s written. This story borders on the latter, simply due to the amount of detail and the way itā€™s presented. The wording of a documentary and the scene itself do not jive.

The first paragraph seems like some random info. The second paragraph is great. The third is a good illustration of my above point. The final paragraph is okay.

That aside, my only other point is that the sentence structure is rather odd sometimes.

~W12~

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