Deshra, Manipulator of Electricity

Electricity Gauntlet

Ark Locket (Prototype)

As far of my non planned/ thought out story line goes for any of my mocs, Deshra is part of a group or clan (can't make up my mind) thing that gives the elemental gauntlets. Which are given to the user by surviving the gauntlets dimension planet I don't know what to call it. Again, never really put thought to the story just the general background.

Anyway hope you enjoy, have a nice day.

74 Likes

this looks so good I love the aesthetic of the moc, really nice job 10/10

also you really like the nimbutt dont ya

3 Likes

yes I do, and thank you

The parts used for the butt don't really fit much. They're large and smooth silver parts in the middle of a fairly large amount of more detailed pieces.

I understand you like to give many of your female MOCs a very clearly defined butt, but the parts used to execute that concept really don't work here. I've nothing against the concept of defined curves on a female MOC, but I just feel like this was more thrown on, as the parts lack almost any consistency with the pieces adjacent to them.

While I do very much enjoy the color scheme, I feel like it could be better distributed, particularly across the legs. There is little blue or silver visible from the front view of the legs, and it almost looks more like pants or something of the like than armor. The color distribution looks fine from the back, just somewhat bland from the front. I also feel like the purple used on the gun and the light transparent blue on the left forearm would look really nice on the rest of the build.

The gun is interesting. It has the silhouette of a gun, but some of the details such as the heart-shaped piece look a little odd. If anything, I think some lightning bolt pieces from the new Nexo Knights sets would look wonderful to carry over the electricity aesthetic the colors heavily imply.

The build of the MOC looks pretty good overall, I just feel that it suffers from some odd color distribution along with some parts whose textures look fairly out of place given the rest of the MOC.

6 Likes

this.

the thighs are massive chunks of technic with no real smooth cover, outside of the weird sideskirt.

it does not fit.

also, the coloration of the gun seems haphazard.

4 Likes

the whole shoulder area is kinda awkward looking, and the coloring seems a bit strange. like the entire torso is silver the legs are completely black but then the back of the legs and butt area are silver too, and the back of the torso is blue.
Otherwise the build and overall look are great!

3 Likes

Im not going to get started on the rest of your comment but the skirt is inspired by The Titan Subclass from destiny, including most of the moc and the machine gun.

(note that is a rifle in the picture)

1 Like

If this is the concept of the gun, I think that it's too rounded in some parts. Based on the name and story, I original assumed it was some sort of lighting weaponry. Given the fact that it's based on a realistic firearm, I don't think it carries it over with blue, pink, and many bulbous details.

1 Like

Shoulder armor looks nice but it forces the shoulders too low, color scheme is solid aside from the upper arms...
That's about it,
gun's quite a mess,
Lower legs are wonky, upper legs are a cluttered block of technic, hips are messy, chest armor sticks out at a weird angle, feet do not work, I feel like an akaku would look better for a sniper(unless that isn't a sniper, which would just be a different problem), random technic on the back of the head for no reason.

From a distance and the front it looks ok, but anyway else shows a plethora of flaws.

4 Likes

Oh ok, and for a second I thought you weren't going to be so freaking critical, I SAID INSPIRATION, and where are you getting "concept of the gun from"? It's based around the machine gun design from the game destiny. Its a gun that still has to do with lightning, i'm just saying its build is based around that kind of weapon from the game Destiny. Nothing more, what you said before is perfectly fine.

1 Like

so, you're not gonna address criticism.

welcome to the boards.

when you post something,

expect people to be critical.

the lego friends machine gun!!!!!

7 Likes

I actually really like the gun. The color scheme of azure and dark pink is different, girly but not over-the top (which is good because it's a gun), and the heart cannon is just cute. Looks like something Nora from RWBY would use.

~W12~

2 Likes

I don't get all the nitpicks people are saying, I love this moc. Great colours, very well thought out design, it's very modest for a female moc which i like. The gun is definitely my fvourite part and my only real complaint would be that the colour distribution is just a little off here and there. Oh and also the photography is really good. Overall I give it a personal 8/10 really good, but still room for improvement :slight_smile:

2 Likes

The colors are a risk-taking combination, and it pays off. Solid MOC.

this is really good.

It would be nice if you cut back the tone and tried to be a little nicer, sir.

Thank you.

8 Likes

It's a pretty good moc but the shoulders are waaaay to low and the butt sticks out like a sore thumb.

1 Like

Not bad. Though I don't think "Manipulator of Electricity" is a good title. "Ultimate god of supreme electrical destruction" on the other hand...

Also, the miru doesn't really work well as a female moc mask.

1 Like

legs are kinda weird-looking,otherwise this is super nice

1 Like