(GAME) Resume Padding

I moved my toothbrush in a circular motion in my mouth, allowing me to clean my enamel with a substance that tastes horrible.

I uh

I forgot to write a resume but I’d really appreciate you hiring me. I’m available 24 hours a day (but I might be busy for some of those hours). We should keep in touch.

I caught a fish a few years ago


Using a metal and string contraption, I have skillfully captured a water-breathing scaled creature some quarter decades ago.

I like the Games ‘N’ Such category.

I am not, as one may consider, a ‘based’ or ‘awesome’ individual, but seem to exist towards the ‘cringe’ end of the range.

I can’t draw.

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I am a mere observer and not one that then captures the moment or the essence of moments to never be, some parties would say that makes me as an individual, sluggish or slothful to not express the inner workings of my mind. But on the contrary I simply possesse different talents…and one day there is the potential for learning this skill.

I vented



I’m feeling overconfident again.


I, as a human being, will accept that I will sometimes contradict my previous statements after being called out for such actions.

I am a proud owner of a Honda Civic.


you’re hired

I care not what others think of me, even if they’re right.

I am a proud non-car owner.

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Despite my lack of four-wheeled explosion-powered transportation, I do not feel sorry for myself about the fact.

I looked out a window.

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using the complicated pair of organs people call eyes, I observed something beyond a pane of glass

Im colorblind

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Certain frequencies of light do not register properly in my retinas; this difficulty leads me to dress in such a manner as others might describe as ‘tacky’, as wait what no I didn’t say that I mean um sometimes I cannot read certain signage and logos due to color difficulty.

I consumed an entire pizza all on my own.

Using my collection of hard objects called teeth, I have devoured an entire disk of dough, cheese, and sauce, and I have done this completely unassisted.

I poured myself a bowl of cereal today.

I believe it was Admiral William McRaven who once said, " If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed. If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task, and another, and another." In a similar sense, I venture to say that everyone ought to eat breakfast every morning. To eat a meal is to give one the energy needed to be productive. Nutrition experts in all corners of the globe concur with that notion. I, dear reader, subscribe to that notion. In fact, just this morning, I single handedly prepared a meal consisting of valuable grains and nutritious dairy. I take self-preservation very seriously and will therefore be an invaluable employee.

I took many pictures during my day-trip to New York City


that’s a tough act to follow but here goes

Some would call me an amateur photographer - I would call myself ambitious, aspiring to greatess, and hellbent on achieving it. For example, on my recent foray into the concrete wilds, and car-infested jungles of the New Yorkish territories, I utilized the camera, that great pinnacle of technology, to record and forever preserve my adventures.

I have liminal janitorial capabilities.

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I have successfully eliminated the byproduct of the consumption of edible goods and fluids from off the surface of cast porcelain clay, although my capabilities in that realm beyond the above listed are middling.

I’m good at crowd control.

I work exceptionally well under a pressure situation where I must subdue large masses of rioting people with nothing more than my fists and a shield
I’m good at minecraft

I am an exceptional modeler of cubic structures in a digital environment, especially those utilizing multiple tools, materials, and products.

I just held a kid for ransom.