Still in the buff, I perform a batman-esque interrogation on the orange being.
WHO ARE YOU?
WHERES THE TRIGGER?
SWEAR TO ME!
The orange being reveals himself to be a man named Gappy Bluepins, who had just escaped an evil mangosteen obsessed being in an alternate dimension.
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I perform flamboyant poses as I get a lift from my mech Crimson Crusader and it takes me back to my HQ
(Still nude)
Then, Shrek’s Ogre army attacks the Cold Pie sector in South America. Kyoryu, Shadezy, Ruby, and Weiss go with 1000 Rorzakhs to defend their territory. In the battle, Ruby’s eye is hit by an arrow, and Weiss gets hit in the temple by a club. Both of them are knocked out.
Shadezy and Kyoryu are obviously extremely infuriated, and take out the Ogre army, winning the battle. Later, Weiss recovers. Ruby’s fine, too. In fact, in the Cold Pie faction, tech is advanced enough to heal her eye, but it takes like 2 days, and in those 2 days, Ruby wears an eyepatch.
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The DSOBS has tech that allows you to transfer your mind to a robot body a la Ghost in the Shell.
Anyways, I attack AoT territory hoping to take France. Gotta get dem baguettes.
I was there, but no one saw me cause I was so stealthy.
Lelouch takes France, but the rest of AoT territory is left unharmed. Meanwhile, Ruby’s eye is better, and Cold Pie takes all of Canada, other than the part where Kini lives. Ninjago declares war on Chima for nearly getting replaced with it.
Shadezy notices that Potay8o still hasn’t done anything, and leads FCP towards his controlled territories, aiming to claim them.
He also passionately kisses Weiss out of nowhere.
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Skis down alps on skis made of baguettes
(FCP=Faction Cold Pie, right?) Ninjago takes the part of Chima in Russia, and gets the most firearms of any faction. Potay8o loses the East coast, but the rest of his territory is kept intact.
Kyoryu passionately kisses Ruby out of nowhere.
—Did it work?
It did… It worked…
IT WORKED!
(Yes, Faction Cold Pie)
In an underground facility, hidden in Russia, cats are assembling in a chamber. The walls are made of concrete and very high. The chamber is huge and can fit a hundred humans. There are easily several hundred kitty cats milling about, mainly of Russian breeds such as Peterbald, Russian Blue, and Kurilian Bob Tail, wearing pilotkas and wielding Mosin Nagants. Part of the chamber is raised up like a stage and stairways leading to it are guarded by Donskoy Cats encased in massive armored suits. Cables are leading from a big generator on the suits back to box shapes weapons attached to the arms, electricity crackling down the cables.
Cats babble and chat with each other as they mill about. Light begin to shut down, until there is only a light shining down upon the podium. Everyone is quiet, filled with anticipation as they await their leader’s appearance. Pawsteps can be heard. A few moments pass before a cat hops upon the podium. It is a mainly grey siberian cat with black highlights, wearing a Russian officer’s peaked cat. Clearing it’s throat, it begins to speak.
Following translated from catese.
“Comrades, fellow felines! For the longest time we have been subservient to humans.”
“But look around you! They kill each other over meaningless trivia. They act with no logic or reason.”
“Meanwhile we are delegated to the chasing of vermin and act as house pets.”
"I, Comrade Chairman Meowfyre, will not let this continue.My comrades, we can not let this continue. "
A cheer is heard from the assembled cats.
“Comrades, we must end this. We must take this world from the humans!”
Another cheer is heard.
“For that reason we have stockpiled weapons, built hidden bases, and developed new technology! And now comrades… we are ready”
A cheer greater then before is heard.
“Zaryadka! Go forth and claim Russia for felines everywhere!”
The speech is broadcasted to several hidden bases. The revolutionary cat army takes Russia by sunset.
(New faction. The Feline Union.)
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DSOBS base
Ok, I’ve finished the time machine, I’m going back a few posts so I don’t mess up too much.
I suddenly get a kiss from [insert waifu here] for good luck.
Steins;Gate theme plays
I shall be leaving no—
However, Mactray and Yang are secretly at the meeting, and tell Cold Pie of this. Blake reluctantly decides to stay with Cold Pie, despite the fact that she’s part cat. The FCP does itself best to keep itself away from the Feline Union. Also, Ninjago somehow keeps most of the firearms. Meanwhile, the Time Machine screws up and sends Lelouch to the Eljayverse.
(OOC: Better music for time traveling:
)
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Somehow I still end up time traveling, but there was an awesome adventure that was non canon cause eljay.
Also I stay on good terms with the Feline Union by exporting french catnip to them.
The FCP is on Neutral-Negative terms with the Feline Union because they took land from Ninjago and Aot, both of which are strong FCP allies. However, for Blake’s sake, they try to stay with as positive of terms as possible. The FCP declares war on Shrek’s swamp for attempting to take their land and kill Ruby and Weiss. It’s a tough war that lasts a Millenia, 7 days to be exact, but the FCP wins and reduces Shrek’s swamp to a hut and about 1 acre of land.
I use my time machine to send troops to help Shrek and his swamp.
Now his land is 5 acres and a small village
With Russia secured for felinekind, thousands upon thousands of cats are flocking to the wintery motherland. Soon the Feline Union has the greatest Man Power of all factions, or rather, Cat Power. However there are many new mouths to feed and Comrade Chairman Meowfyre is quick to act. Human boats are re-purposed and soon the Feline Union has a bustling fishing trade. Cats everywhere in Russia dine on the bounty of the sea.
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