Recently, I have been working on a story I thought up. C&c appreciated.
Chapter 1: Making Waves (Segment 1)
I jerk upright, and look around me. The freshly risen sun’s light pours onto the planks of a ship’s hull. “Oh no.” I groan to myself. Clearly, during the night I had let myself drift too close to someone. I stand up on my wave rider. Time to get out of here.
I lift my arms up, and begin to feel the energy of the sea beneath me. “Oi! Man over the port bough!” A rope snakes itself down around my arm, and I am yanked upward.
Two men heave me over a railing. I sprawl across the pitching deck. “What ha’ we got ‘ere?” I clamber to my feet and look at the person who spoke. He’s a larger man, broad shoulders. Doing well for himself, judging by his fancy clothes and three peaked hat. “What’s yer name?
“You don’t need to know my name.” I reply
“Now, now. I need to know tha names of all mi ‘otential crew members.”
“You don’t want me on your crew.” I say. “I’m too dangerous. People will get hurt.”
The man pulls a pistol from it’s holster at his side. “I am the captain ‘ere.” He says, leveling it with my chest. “I asked fer yer name.”
I breathe a sigh. “Hohanu. Hohanu Wai.”
“Now that ain’t so hard, wa’ it?” He retorts. He starts poking me with the barrel of his gun. “Excellent physique. Ye’ll be a true asset on board, a’ this i’ no merchant ship.” He moves the muzzle of the pistol through my hair. “Ye shan’t need to chop this down to size if ye likes it. How long ha’ ye been driftin’ like tha’?”
“About three years.” I say.
A sharp pain blossoms in the side of my head, and I fall to the my knees. “Next time I’ll shoot! Now I’ll ask again. How long ha’ ye been adrift?”
“Off and on for three years.” I say from the deck. “You would probably say I’ve had an unfortunate turn of events on this sea”
The captain glares at me, then kicks me in the leg. “Ge’ up!” ge growles. As I climb to my feet, he continues, “Ye needs to learn respect fer yer betters.”
I look him in the eye. “Just throw me back into the sea.”
There is a loud bang, and I fall to the deck groaning and clutching my thigh. “I told ye to lose yer attitude!” He shouts.
“Vessel to starboard!” Cries a voice from the crow’s nest.
The captain turns to look. “Aye, and a beaut’ too.” He mutters before shouting, “Well, don’t just stand there gawkin’, prepare to attack! And put this one in the brigg!” He adds as an afterthought.