Hunted (Story Serial Continuation project)

Creative Content Literature
15

not yet… :smiling_imp:

Chapter 5

From the tree line, Strakk watched the Vorox pull back. He saw Lesovikk celebrate the victory, and resisted a sigh. There was a bigger threat than the Vorox lurking out there, and this victory would mean nothing if Lesovikk and his fellow Toa couldn’t–

And then, Strakk saw Lesovikk collapse.

Stunned, Strakk ran out of the trees toward the fallen Toa. The other Toa turned toward him, aiming their weapons at this stranger, and he held his hands up. “You can trust me. I’m a friend,” he said.

But one member of the party recognized him. “Strakk?” Gelu said. “What the heck are you doing here?”

Strakk muttered a curse. Darn it, why did this group of Toa have to have a Glatorian with them, anyway? “I’m here to help,” he said, hoping that Gelu would at least let him help Lesovikk.

“You’re here to help?” Gelu said. “Right. I’ll believe that when the desert freezes over.”

Well, Gelu could believe whatever he wanted. Bending down, Strakk grabbed Lesovikk and rolled him over, trying to determine the cause of the Air Toa’s sudden collapse.

His eyes were immediately drawn to a mark on the Toa’s chest, a familiar mark. Grabbing the Toa’s chest plate, Strakk wrenched it off. “Hey, what are you doing?” the lightning Toa protested.

But then, she saw what Strakk saw: a dark, blackened mark on the Toa’s muscle tissue. “What is that?”

“It’s a Rock Steed sting,” Strakk said. His mind flashed back to the Bone Hunter attack, when Lesovikk had been hit by the Rock Steed’s tail; he should’ve checked for a sting then, but he hadn’t thought of it.

Normally, Rock Steed venom should’ve killed the victim in minutes; Strakk suspected Lesovikk’s mask power was helping him resist its effects. Of course, Strakk couldn’t say that in front of the others; they’d want to know how he knew that, and Strakk wasn’t prepared to answer.

“We need to get him treated, quick,” Strakk said.

“Where?” Gelu said. “We’re days away from civilization, unless you count the Vorox city, and I doubt they’d be eager to help him.”

Strakk hesitated. There was a way to save Lesovikk, but did he really want to take the Toa there yet, not until–

“Strakk’s hideout isn’t far from here,” the blue-and-gold said. "He didn’t want to say that, but if it can help us save Lesovikk, we need to go there.

Strakk muttered under his breath. Right, mind powers. Well, he had little choice now. Hopefully they wouldn’t ask too many questions.

“Fine,” he said. “Let’s take him to my camp.”

“This is your camp?” Orde said, incredulous.

The group stood in front of a metal door in the side of a cliff. The door was mostly obscured by vines, and Gelu would never had found it if Strakk hadn’t led them to it.

“I found it,” Strakk said. “Seemed abandoned, so I made it my home.”

“After Iconox kicked you out, you mean,” Gelu said.

Strakk sighed. He really hadn’t wanted the Toa to find out about that yet. “Bring him in,” he said. “There’s medical supplies here. We can still save him, if we act fast.”

Strakk wedged the doors open, and the group walked in. A single torch lit the center of the room, and the rest of the room was obscured in darkness. Hopefully, Gelu and co. wouldn’t ask for a tour.

“Lay him on the table,” Strakk said. “I’ll get the supplies.”

“I’m surprised you’re being so cooperative,” Gelu said. “The Strakk I know wouldn’t do anything unless there was money involved.”

“I’m not the Strakk you know,” Strakk answered. “And there’s more at stake here. I need him. I need all of you.” He hoped that would do for now.

Gelu clearly had more questions, but he seemed willing to set them aside for now; saving Lesovikk was the bigger priority.

Unfortunately, the Toa weren’t about to stay quiet. “What is this place, anyway?” Orde said, looking around at the tools and equipment on the shelves next to the table. “I figured it was some kind of bunker, but it looks more like a workshop.”

“Definitely not a place that belongs to someone like Strakk,” Gelu said.

“What did he do, anyway?” Chiara asked. “You said Iconox kicked him out, must’ve been something big.”

“He violated the Glatorian creed,” Gelu said. “During an arena match, Strakk conceded the fight. Then, when his opponent turned away, Strakk attacked him from behind and tried to kill him.”

“I wasn’t going to kill him,” Strakk protested, searching for the medical kit. It’d be easier to find with the lights on, but he didn’t really want the others seeing the whole room. “Just rough him up a bit. I was angry, okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” Gelu said. “Don’t worry, I totally believe you.” His tone made it clear that he did not.

“You can believe me or not,” Strakk said, walking back into the light with the medical pack. “But at least believe that this Toa needs help, and I am going to help him. Think what you want of me; it doesn’t matter to me.”

“Fine,” Gelu said. “But you’re not touching him. I’ve saved an Agori stung by a Rock Steed before. I can patch this Toa up, too.” He turned to Orde. “I’d like you to nullify his pain as much as you can, and make sure he doesn’t wake up. The shock could kill him.”

Orde nodded, placing his hands against the Air Toa’s head. “I can still feel him, but faintly,” he said.

Gelu got to work. “You sure this will work on a Toa?” Chiara said. “We’re a bit different from your kind.”

“It’ll work,” Gelu said. “I hope.”

Chiara was about to say something else when a loud clank caught her attention. “What was that?” she said.

Zaria grabbed his weapon. “Strakk, is there anyone else here besides you?”

“There shouldn’t be,” Strakk said.

For just a second, Orde dropped his focus on Lesovikk, scanning the area. That was long enough. “Well, you might want to turn the rest of the lights on,” he said. “Because there’s someone else in here with us.”

Author’s notes: Rock steeds having venomous tails is something mentioned in the set descriptions, but never seen in the story. I was half expecting someone to pick up on that being the reason Lesovikk fell before this chapter.
The second half of this technically violates my usual “one Point of View” rule, since Strakk wouldn’t know the Toa’s names, but writing “the [insert color scheme] Toa” each time felt a little clunky.
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nooo he needs to suffer more!

great chapter as always btw.

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No, I didn’t forget to post a new chapter yesterday, what are you talking about?

Chapter 6

Chiara held up her hand, lightning crackling around her fingertips. “Could it be a Vorox?” she said.

“Why would a Vorox come in here and shut the door behind him?” Gelu said. “And turn off the lights, too?”

“Maybe this place wasn’t as abandoned as Strakk thought,” Zaria suggested.

“Or maybe he was lying about being alone,” Gelu replied.

“Well, only one way to find out,” Chiara said. Then she yelled “All right! Either you come out where we can see you, or I’ll come find you. And if I have to come find you, you won’t like what happens.”

Strakk sighed and grabbed another torch, lighting it off the one over Lesovikk. “This is my hideout,” he said. “I don’t take kindly to invaders. Gelu, Orde, see to Lesovikk. Lightning Toa, Iron Toa, let’s find our little guest.”

Zaria raised the Vorox blade, following Strakk into the dark. In his other hand, he held the Force Blaster he’d taken from the Vorox, and he kept his eyes trained on Strakk as the three went off into the dark. He already didn’t trust Strakk, and he couldn’t recall anyone mentioning Orde’s name.

As the three walked through the darkened hideout, lit by the fire from Strakk’s torch, Chiara scanned the walls, seeing more tools and equipment, as well as half-assembled parts of things she didn’t recognize, and diagrams here and there. “This looks like a place where an inventor might work,” she said. “Wonder how long it was abandoned before Strakk found it?”

“How long ago did you find this place?” Zaria asked.

“A few days ago,” Strakk said.

Zaria’s eyes narrowed. He knew how to read a room, seeing the patterns of dust, to tell if people had been there, and how long. This room had been seeing frequent use for quite some time. Either Strakk was lying about when he found it, or someone else had been using it before Strakk… and maybe they still were.

Zaria’s keen eyes caught sight of a shadow moving along the far wall, just outside of Strakk’s light. “All right, come out!” he yelled, aiming the Force Blaster at the shadow.

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, a figure stood up and walked into the light. “All right, don’t kill me,” the grey-armored Agori said. “I’m not here to cause trouble.”

“Hey, I know you,” Strakk said. “You’re that Skrall assistant, Atakan or something like that. What are you doing here?”

“Atakus,” the Agori said. “And I was just wandering. Just curious, is all, found this place by accident.”

“Really,” Strakk said. “So you elected to go stumbling around in the dark? Or do you Rock Agori have night vision now?”

Atakus sighed. “All right, you caught me. I knew this place was here, known for quite a while. I knew you were here too, Strakk, I just didn’t want to say anything.”

“All right,” Strakk said. “Let’s say I believe you. What brought you back here?”

“Well, I couldn’t find a paper I needed,” Atakus said. “I thought maybe I left it here last time I was in here, so I came back to check, and sure enough, here it is.” He held up a piece of parchment.

Strakk instantly recognized the paper Atakus held. In a flash, he had his Thornax launcher aimed at Atakus. “Give it to me. Now.”

“What?” Atakus said. “I promise, this isn’t from your little hideout. Not that anything here belongs to you anyway, but this is mine. Just some ideas I was scribbling one day for an idea I had. Was going to try and make it here, but–”

“It isn’t yours,” Strakk said. “It’s the plans for a powerful weapon. And you have no business with it.”

Now it was Atakus’ turn to narrow his eyes. “How do you know that?” he said.

Chiara abruptly launched a bolt of electricity, zapping Atakus and causing him to drop the paper. Strakk immediately made a move for it. Then, suddenly, his armor locked up, and he couldn’t move. He turned his eyes to see Zaria holding out his hand. “No way,” the Iron Toa said. “Not until you explain what’s going on here.”

“Grab the paper, and I’ll tell you,” Strakk said. “And don’t let Atakus get away!”

The rock Agori got back to his feet, and saw Chiara advancing toward him. He didn’t like his odds against one Toa, let alone two. There was only one thing to do.

“Stop him!” Strakk shouted.

But it was far too late for that. Atakus dodged Chiara’s lightning and pulled out a small launcher, much like the Force Blaster Zaria held. Zaria raised his other hand, and Atakus felt his armor lock up too, but it was too late – he already had the launcher aimed at the iron Toa, and pulled the trigger. Zaria was caught by surprise by the blast of force, and he dropped his hold on Atakus and Strakk. Strakk tried to grab Atakus, but the Agori was quicker, running for the door. He ran past Gelu and Orde, still tending to Lesovikk, and they looked up at him, surprised, but they were too busy with the Air Toa to stop him.

Atakus slammed his hand against a lever near the door, and there was a loud rumble of stone. He wedged the door open roughly, greeted by a wave of dust and a rush of pebbles. Pushing through it, he dove to safety, just as a landslide of dirt and rock fell in front of the entrance.

Getting to his feet, he pointed the blaster at where the entrance used to be, but as the dust cleared, nothing else emerged. Strakk and the rest were buried, hopefully for good.

Maybe that would help make up for the fact that Atakus had lost the plans for the weapon…

Author’s notes: I initially wrote this scene with Atakus just running away, before it occurred to me that Zaria could probably stop him easily. Zaria’s a bit focused on not trusting Strakk, but we know he can grab two people at once.
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This is getting really good, tying in the plot thread of Atakus working for Velika.

I’m interested to see how Strakk knows what he does, both Orde’s name and the weapon design. Maybe he was involved with the Great Beings a long time ago, when Orde was created? After all, he clearly understands what’s in the rest of the lab:

EDIT: I just remembered that one of Greg’s original ideas was for The Yesterday Quest to take them to the workshop where the Toa (or at least some Toa) were created. Is this that lab? That would explain why Strakk would want to hide the room from the Toa, and it’s conceivable there could be some kind of diagrams with Orde’s name on them…

EDIT 2: If Strakk was working for the Great Beings, that would offer an explanation as to why he went south to “take care of business” just before the Shattering.

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Slight delay on this one – I wound up having to rewrite it a bit.

Chapter 7

Zaria coughed and got to his feet. Dust filled the air, and the torch Strakk had been holding had been extinguished, plunging the group into darkness.

Chiara’s lightning lit up the dark a bit, sparks crackling between her fingers. Many of the walls had caved in, one nearly burying Chiara. “Everyone okay?” she said.

“Fine,” Strakk said. “Atakus sealed the entrance. He’s trapped us.”

“Why?” Chiara said. “Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know,” Zaria said. “But I suspect Strakk here does. You want to tell us what you’ve been hiding, or do we have Orde force the knowledge out of your head?”

“I don’t know the full answer,” Strakk said, “but I do know that a great weapon was unleashed. I thought it was an accident, but now I wonder if it was intentional.”

“What kind of weapon?” Chiara said.

“The worst kind,” Strakk said. “The kind designed to kill your kind. All Toa.”

Chiara gasped. “Who would make something like that?” Zaria said.

“The Great Beings,” Strakk said. “There’s a lot you don’t know about them.”

“Wait,” Chiara said. “Why do you know about it?”

Strakk sighed. No point hiding it anymore. “I was sent here by a Great Being,” he said. “I was supposed to help you stop the weapon.” He coughed a bit in the lingering dust. “But if we’re stuck here… it could kill them all before we get out. Fortunately, there’s another way out that maybe Atakus wouldn’t know about, but I don’t know where it is. But she might…”

“Who’s she?” Chiara asked.

Strakk held up his hand. “I’ll tell you more, but first, we need to find the others.”

With Chiara’s help, Strakk was able to locate and relight his torch. Then he took the group to a wall panel to turn on the lights, but when he flipped the switch, nothing happened.

“The quake must have broken something,” he grumbled.

“I don’t get it,” Chiara said. “How did one little Agori nearly bring down this whole place?”

“It was supposed to be a failsafe to seal the entrance in case… something undesirable wanted to get in,” Strakk said. “But it was never completed. Ideally, it would’ve just brought down a rockslide in front of the entrance, but I guess it was too strong.”

“Well then,” Chiara said. “Guess we’ll have to find the rest of the team in the dark.”

Strakk led the group back to the entrance, where they found Orde helping dig out Gelu, who had been caught when part of the wall collapsed. Fortunately, the collapse had narrowly missed Lesovikk’s body.

Gelu stared at Strakk, having heard the Ice Glatorian’s story. And he clearly wasn’t buying it. “Right. Strakk, working for a Great Being personally. Somehow, I can’t see it. You want to tell us the real truth now?”

“He’s telling the truth,” Orde said. “He really does know a Great Being. But there’s something else he hasn’t told us.”

Strakk sighed. “I used to work with her years ago, before the Core War,” he said. “When the Shattering happened, we got separated, and I didn’t hear from her for millenia. Then the planet gets fixed, and suddenly she contacts me again. Says she needs me to stop one of her creations.”

“So you agreed to help her on a dangerous mission?” Gelu said, doubtful.

“Well, she was paying me,” Strakk said. “And being exiled does make it a bit hard to get paid, you know.”

“But now we’re stuck here,” Orde said.

Strakk didn’t look happy about what he had to say next. “There’s only one way out. I have to take you to her. She’s here, in this lab.”

“You had one job, Strakk.”

The white-robed female paid no mind to the three Toa gawking at her, instead focusing all her attention on Strakk, gazing at him furiously. Strakk, never one to flinch, met her gaze just as intently.

“Get the Toa where they needed to go, stop the salvation, and keep me from having to get involved,” the woman said. “And you managed to fail at all of that.”

Strakk held up the scroll Atakus had tried to steal. “I found the plans we needed.”

“You mean Atakus found the plans we needed,” the woman said. “It seems one of my brothers also knows the weapon is loose. But was he trying to stop it, or trying to make sure it carried out his mission?”

Orde finally spoke up, for the first time since Strakk had led them to the Great Being. “Wait, why would you want to kill the Toa?”

“In case you went bad, of course,” the Great Being said. “The Glatorian and Agori would be powerless to stop you. We had to do something.”

“So you made a weapon to kill us all?” Orde said.

The Great Being nodded. “I helped make it. It was made here, the same place where…” she hesitated. “It was locked away, to be released if it was ever needed. But when Mata Nui brought you all here, it escaped.”

Orde could tell the woman was hiding something, and instinctively tried to probe her mind, only to discover he couldn’t. For a second, he thought the Vorox were back with their power blocker, but it wasn’t that his powers didn’t work; they just didn’t work on her.

But Strakk wasn’t so well guarded. From his mind, Orde saw what the Great Being – Fierah – was hiding about this place. He started to blurt it out, then hesitated. Not yet.

“And now we need to escape as well,” Fierah said. “Follow me.”

With Fierah in the lead, the group walked deeper into the bunker. Or, as they now realized, the Great Being laboratory. Chiara and Zaria were carrying Lesovikk, who was still unconscious. Gelu had done what he could, but he wasn’t sure if the Air Toa would make it or not.

She led them to another set of doors, these ones much bigger than the front door, reinforced and clearly locked tight, with a thick layer of rock on the other side. “Strakk, would you like to do the honors?”

Unlimbering his axe, Strakk slammed it against the doors, once, twice, three times, before finally breaking through. Behind them, there was a wall of rock, which fell before Strakk’s axe, revealing a clearing and the forest beyond. Zaria had his blaster ready, just in case, but no enemies waited to ambush them.

“You see?” Fierah said. “Sometimes, it pays off to have secrets. The other Great Beings understood that, unlike some people.” She glared at Orde, and he realized she was probably aware he had tried to probe her mind.

Well, Orde probed everyone’s mind. She’d just have to get used to it. “Speaking of secrets,” Orde said. “There’s something I need to ask you about. Do you know anything about–?”

“Look!” Chiara cried abruptly.

Orde grumbled something about things always interrupting him, and looked to the sky to see what Chiara was pointing at. And then, all thoughts of the dark secret he’d learned left his mind.

In the sky, a huge red meteor was falling rapidly to the surface. Orde had only seen it recently, since coming to this world, but it was fairly unique, hard to forget or mistake for anything else.

It was the Red Star. And it was falling.

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Yes, I know, wildly inconsistent release schedule for this story. This week’s been very busy, so it’s been hard to keep up with this.

Chapter 8

Chiara had wanted to go see what had happened to the Star, and even Orde had to admit to being curious – especially when he caught a flash of worry from the Great Being’s mind, upon seeing the Star fall. But there were bigger problems to worry about, and Orde still had a secret to share.

Fierah stared at the Toa of Psionics, her arms crossed, a deep frown on her face. Orde had told her what he’d learned from Kabrua’s mind, about a Great Being hiding in one of the people from the Matoran Universe, and even for her, it was a lot to take in.

“I think I know who it might have been,” she said. “Though I have no idea whose body he stole. If his plans are as dark as you say…” she shook her head. “And I thought Marendar being loose was bad. Maybe it was this Great Being who set him free?”

“That would make sense,” Orde said. “So, how do we stop him?”

“Well, we start by stopping Marendar,” Fierah said. “And luckily, we have the key to doing that.” She held up the paper that Atakus had tried to steal, and began to unfold it.

“What is it, anyway?” Chiara said. “You said it was the plans of a weapon. Was it Marendar?”

“A part of him,” Fierah said. “And with any luck, it will allow us to track him down. Hopefully, with my help, you can–”

“Uh, guys?” Chiara said. “Lesovikk’s… his heartlight isn’t…”

The group turned to look at Lesovikk. Sure enough, his heartlight had gone dark. The Toa of Air was dead.

There was a moment of silence, finally broken by Fierah. “That’s… unfortunate,” she said. “The only thing we can do now is carry on in his name, and try to stop Ma–”

“Shut up,” Orde said abruptly.

Fierah stared at him, shocked. “Excuse me?”

“This is your fault,” Orde said. “You and your think-headed secrets. You know all there is to know about how Toa work, don’t you? You could have saved him earlier, when we brought him to your lab. You were hiding there the whole time. But no, you sent an exiled Glatorian to clean up your mess, and when Lesovikk needed help, you just let him die.”

Fierah glared daggers at the Toa of Psionics. “You don’t know the–”

But Orde wasn’t finished. “And that’s not all,” he said. “You know how to bring him back, don’t you? As soon as we realized he was dead, you let your guard down, and I saw what you were thinking. You thought about that star. Something there can save him, but you don’t want to tell us, because of your stupid secrets. Well, I’ll tell you what.” Orde waved his hand, and a wave of psionics yanked the paper out of Fierah’s hand and into his. “You and your secrets can go to Karzahni. Maybe Mata Nui was wrong. We don’t need you.”

The rest of the group stared at the two, stunned. Fierah stared at Orde, and Orde stared back, undeterred. “You dare to talk to your creators like that?” she said. “Would you talk to your Turaga that way?”

“If she were as stupid as you, yes,” Orde replied.

Fierah met his stare for a moment, and then shook her head. “I only tried to help you at my brother’s behest,” she said. “I was happy to let Marendar wipe you out, but he convinced me you were worth saving. I’m not sure what he saw in you.”

“Maybe he saw people who were willing to fight for each other,” Orde said. “Instead of putting their ‘secrets’ over the life of their creations.”

“Look, even if you take him to the Star, there’s no guarantee that usable revival tech will have survived the crash,” she said. “And what about Marendar? You just going to let him run around killing Toa while you try to save the life of one Toa? If Marendar gets to them, the Red Star won’t be able to bring them back.”

“Why don’t we do both?” Gelu said. The rest of the group turned to look at him. “Way I see it, you need materials to make something for us to track Marendar. Can those materials be salvaged from the Red Star?”

Fierah blinked. She hadn’t considered that. “It’s… possible? Assuming that the death sensors survived, I might be able to rewire them using parts from the Ignition Protocol, tracking the energy from…”

“So, does that mean you’re going to help us?” Orde said.

Fierah pondered for a moment. She had told Angonce she would deal with Marendar. No matter what she might think of these Toa, she had a promise to keep. “I’ll help,” she said. “But let me tell you something, Toa of Psionics: if I feel you probe my mind again, I can and will turn your powers back on you. Permanently.”

“All right,” Orde said. “I’d say our first mission was a success; we found a Great Being, even if she is quite possibly the most Mahi-brained one around. New mission: Save Lesovikk, and then track down and defeat a weapon designed to kill Toa. Sounds easy enough. What about you guys, you in?” he turned to look at Chiara, Zaria, Strakk, and Gelu.

“I’m down,” Chiara said. “Let’s go kick Marendar’s butt.”

Zaria simply nodded, and Gelu shrugged. “Might as well. Beats walking back home by myself, through a forest full of Vorox.”

Strakk shrugged. “How much are you willing to pay me?”

“Now there’s the Strakk I know,” Gelu said.

“Then let’s get to it,” Orde said.

“You lost them?”

The voice contacting Atakus through his high-tech gear was harsh, angry.

“They’re buried, along with the Toa team looking for you guys,” Atakus said. “They cornered me, so I–”

“You ruined our best chance at fixing this mess,” the voice growled. “Perhaps our allies from the sand can dig them out and fix your problem.”

There was a long moment of silence. “As for you, Atakus, I have a new task for you. The Star has fallen. I want you to find out who has survived. Make sure you’re not spotted. Try not to fail again.”

The voice went dead. Sighing, Atakus changed direction, heading to where the Star had crashed.

Power. Marendar could feel the Power. The strongest source of it. He’d already taken down one source of the Power, but there was a bigger one out there. It was the biggest threat, which meant it needed to be dealt with first.

But suddenly, he paused. Something was coming. Lots of power, not all in one source like the big one he felt, but several smaller ones, descending to the surface… with that red light from the sky. The red light was falling, and with it, it brought the power.

The big power could wait. This needed to be dealt with. Turning, Marendar started heading toward where the Red Star was about to crash…

To be continued…

Author’s notes: figuring out how to end this one was hard. I knew from the beginning that I wanted to end with them seeing the Star crash – in fact, at one point I ended the story at the previous chapter, but it didn’t feel like it really concluded anything. Still feels a bit inconclusive – they found a Great Being, and now their mission’s kind of changed – but now they’re going to get involved with the Star Story.
The Star crashing is going to get a lot of attention, probably a lot of people will come to it to investigate, and there’s going to be quite a bit going on there. I imagine there might be more than one story there. But before I get there, right now, I’ve got one story “finished” (pending editing and rewriting) and one possible idea, and then I plan to start on the crashed Star stories.
And since I usually give some kind of hint to the next story here, it’s going to involve some guy who became a Toa because he put on a shiny mask. I’ve heard he’s supposed to be important.
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Again, great work. I really love reading your stories.

I have to point out that the begining of this last chapter felt weird. They all saw the Red Star crasing, but inmidiatly they changed theme to talk another thing, like: “The Red Star is falling, oh no! Anyway…”. First I though the conversation ocurred minutes before the Star falling.

I would recomend adding a paragraph saying that all were impacted for the event, but they don’t have time to chatter about the star or something like that.

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Oh, don’t forget!
“The Baterra continue their advance towards the south of Bara Magna.”
(BS01 Baterra page)

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Right, I meant to respond to this, before I got distracted by the Contest topic.

Yeah, I can see your point. Went ahead and added something to that effect.

Funny you should say that; I’ve already written a scene where the Baterra show up.

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I finally found some time to say something about the whole stuff.
That was quite some action in this story. Though I don’t like action in books, (I am just too nerd), it is well written. A lot of “I work for a Great Being” stuff, which is pretty nice. Perditus certainly should come up soon.
Fierah’s weird.
Another thing that is weird: it’s either a working reanimation device on the Red Star, that will make all MU inhabitants invulnerable, or Lesovikk is dead. I don’t like both outcomes. But who knows, who knows, probably you’ll come up with something very cool as always.
I believe the story came out very nice. You really made me like Zaria and Orde. Cool trick with dead Toa. Will there be “behind the scenes” post:)?

Soooo…
Vezon & Axato (I mean where else would Vezon go…)
Atakus & maybe Velika personnaly
Maybe Baterra (your hint)
Orde, Chiara, Zaria, Lesovikk, Strakk, Gelu & Fierah
Marendar
Probably Pohatu
Maybe Kopaka, Hydraxon, Botar, Lhikan, Jovan (they will return after Pohatu, will they?)
Who knows how may people from the Star, Kestora and “Makuta” included
Maybe Lewa, Coveh, Likus, Tera, Tolk & Tanya (why not? Let’s unite Phantoka again)
If upper is true, than also Voporak
Maybe some expedition from mata Nui Village (there was that astrologer Matoran who’ve seen the Star falling)
Oh yeah. It’s all coming together.
I really wait for it.

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Oh yeah, making it so that everyone can be revived kills a lot of stakes, so I definitely won’t go that route. I actually just now figured out how the Star will work after this, and the crash is going to have some lasting impact.

Actually, when I initially wrote the scene with Atakus, it was Perditus who was there in his stead. (Same exact scene, just with Perditus instead of Atakus) Then I figured Perditus might be better saved for a different role, rather than being exposed here.

Well, most of this story came out exactly as I wrote it to start with, or with minor changes – Atakus being swapped out with Perditus was the biggest change, and that was just the same scene with a different character.

There were, however, two scenes that I wrote that did get cut. The first one still happened, I just elected not to show it, and with the second one I chose a different series of events.

Far to the south, one of the Great Beings that the Toa sought was also trying to seek out his former brethren. Not for causes of celebration, though, but to stop a catastrophe.
.
Angonce tried to think which Great Being would be the most helpful. There was one who would know exactly what to do, but he had gone into exile even before the Shattering, and no one had heard from him since. Tanja would have had an idea, but Angonce had no idea what had happened to her, either.
.
There was only one being who might be able to help. That is, if Angonce could convince them to help. That Great Being might simply wish to let Marendar carry out his mission, and be done with the whole matter. Would they even care about the new life the Matoran had found?
.
Angonce had little choice. He just hoped his fellow creator would see what he saw, before it was too late.

This scene would have been in chapter one. I decided to cut it, however, to keep the involvement of a Great Being a secret to be revealed later.

As for the second, before I decided to incorporate Lesovikk, the secondary plot would have been the Toa Mahri and Toa Hagah being hunted by Marendar.

Jaller stared down at the five bodies of the Toa. Many of them had broken masks, and all of them had holes through their chests, leaving no doubt that they had died. Damage to the surrounding grass and trees indicated that a fierce battle had taken place.
.
“I recognize them,” Norik said. “They used to be Spiriah’s Toa Hagah… so long ago. They were veteran Toa, like us; it’d take something pretty powerful to defeat them.”
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“It’s coming for us,” Gaaki said abruptly. Norik turned to her, and immediately recognized the distant look in her eyes; her mask of Clairvoyance had activated.
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“What’s coming?” Iruini asked.
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“The killer of Toa…” Gaaki muttered. “It’s hiding, but it’s coming, coming for us…”
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“Wait,” Kongu said. “The thing that killed these Toa is coming for us now?”
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“Well, I say we let it,” Hewkii said. “And then, we teach it a lesson.”
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“I don’t like our odds of facing something that can kill a whole team of Toa,” Norik said.
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“I still sense nothing,” Jaller said.
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“Could be it knows how to hide from your mask,” Nuparu suggested.
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Gaaki cried out, stumbling backwards. “We have to run…” she said. “Can’t fight… too powerful… it’ll kill us all…”

I never figured out a version of events from here that I liked, and when I came up with the idea to incorporate Lesovikk, I scrapped this idea entirely.

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26

If you haven’t already, I’d recommend listening to this. DuckBricks and KhingK provide some very good insights and observations about the discontinued serials.

27

Very nice. :+1:

Quick note about Lesovikk’s plot-thread, I don’t think his team was on the Red Star:

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Yeah, they’re probably not. It’s a shame, it could be interesting to see them reunite, especially if Leso had to fight them because they were under the Kestora’s control, but such is as it is.

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Yup, if only it weren’t for those Zyglak and their disintegration powers…:confused:

Also, looking forward to seeing what Takua’s up to (I’m wondering how exactly he’ll play a key role in resolving the GB civil war, and whether him giving up his power would be something that coincided with him achieving his destiny (like the Metru), or something he would do afterward).

I’m also looking forward to seeing what TSO is up to. Will the Dark Hunters (or whatever they’re calling themselves now that they’ve recruited so much of Spherus Magna’s scum and villainy) be a faction in the civil war? or maybe a mercenary service that plays all sides? or something else entirely?

30

Honestly, since you’ve revived this topic I’m going to go ahead and take the opportunity to ask about something. You can give your thoughts if you want, and anyone else is free to as well.

I have the next story ready to go. Have for a while, in fact. I was planning to wait to post it until after the Hagah contest, so that the two weren’t competing for attention (although considering how long the polls have taken I probably could’ve posted the whole thing by now, even if I didn’t post every day).

So, at this point I’m wondering, should I
A) continue to wait until after the Hagah contest is concluded
B) start posting, and stop if the Hagah polls go up, to resume after they conclude
C) start posting and keep going even if it overlaps with the polls

I’m fine with any option, really, and I’ll still (hopefully) continue to write in that time. Just thought I’d hear some other opinions.

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31

I’d go with C.

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32

I will also go with C.:slightly_smiling_face::+1:

33

C for me as well. I’ve been really enjoying your continuation of the G1 storyline and I am excited to read more.

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Personally I’d also say C. I’m not sure about wider exposure, but personally I’d keep up with the story even with all of the Hagah contest craziness going on.