Larkzan: Creator's son

NAME: Larkzan.
GENDER: male.
RACE: Kerosiian/cybernetically enhanced being.
AGE: Thirty-ish. (about 18 for a Kerosiian)
TITLE(s): Creator’s son, son, brother, master, general, seeker.
PERSONALITY: Cold and calculating at times, yet he can get aggressive and cruel to others.
BIO: Larkzan was born into a small Kerosiian family, he had two older brothers and a twin sister. after his brothers left to serve in the army, he was distraught, yet strangely motivated, he then longed to serve in the armed forces and be an asset to the Kerosiian armies, whom he longed to lead one day. his life as a young boy was pleasant and peaceful, but one night a black armored being broke into the house and took their father, it was then that his mother explained to him why his father never worked in the fields or served in the military, he already was. after years of waiting for his father or brothers to return, Larkzan took matters into his own hands and took up a job in harvesting crops and packing fruit. after supporting his family for a few years, his mother was ill and soon died. Larkzan was left to support himself and his sister, after a few years of taking four jobs each, they paid their way to meet with their father. after they arrived at the Kerosiian capital they reunited with their father, who informed them of several attempts on his life by beings that he created, known as the Demons. After Larkzan and his sister began to live with their father Larkzan was approached with a job as a soldier. He gladly took the offer and was trained by the best fighters in the empire, something his father personally requested. after he was placed into the army he climbed the ranks with great speed, soon becoming a general. but in a battle with a Demon known as Crimson he was dealt a blow to the head and had his eye ripped out, causing serious brain damage. he was in the hospital during the final battle of the Kerosiian and Hero Factory war, he learned after he was released from the hospital that his father and sister were killed in a ship crash. after being mortally wounded by a Void-god known as Kastranus. his mind was sent into a rage and he soon pieced together remains of the empire to hunt down the Demons, he sent a death threat to the Hero known as RaptorTalon and captured him after a year or so of hunting him and the Kerosiian Darclex but soon after he was captured, RaptorTalon escaped and stabbed Larkzan in the back, after setting the building on fire and leaving the wounded Kerosiian to die in the flames. Larkzan later awoke in his base, after he was rebuilt with cybernetic implants.
He is currently hunting the remaining Demons and a being known as 44.

Phew, On to the MOC!


legs.

Body and side of his face.

side.

back.

with people.

All of my custom MOCs. and with that amazing image, Goodbye!

9 Likes

I don't like the head, and the body is pretty awkward, but the legs are ok.

1 Like

Okay....

what do you mean by "awkward" he is an alien, after all.

He does look a lot like an alien. 9/10 the head is just strange.

1 Like

I really don't like it when people use to of the new armor add-ons as a chest. Especially when they have a third one as the abdomen...

Which this MOC does, it looks really messy and over textured.

The feet on the back look really ugly, if you where to give them a more obvious use for them it would help. Maybe try attaching a vertical to horizontal axel adapter to a ball joint and using it as a way to attach his swords as wings?

That head looks bad. The mess of robot arms sticks out like a sore thumb.

The waist seems way to long/skinny

The feet and thornax launchers on the back of his shins look very out of place.

Over all I'd give the MOC a...

3.5/10

EDIT

Over all the MOC is just kind of... boring. Nothing about it really sticks out to me. The colour scheme is very basic, it looks awkward in multiple places and looks boring in others.

2 Likes

Praise/Criticism:

  • Color scheme is pretty consistent
  • Mask is pretty interesting, but not amazing
  • I understand he is an Alien and all, but the chestplate looks kind of strange with the two Protector Chest on top of the third.
  • the back of the calves look strange with the Thornax Launchers sticking out a bit too far out and the foot on the back adds an extra socket, which looks a bit off.
  • Open sockets on the feet on the back look strange

I would give this MOC an overall rating of 4/10.
The MOC has some good things going for it, but it just has some strange ideas placed in. The alien aesthetic could save a few of the points, but it doesn't stop it from having its faults.

Needs Work wink

P.S. I'm sorry if I came down too hard

2 Likes

Understood, I will try to remedy these issues. thank you for your comment.

@PluralLego it is fine, I will take these points into account.

2 Likes

I like the head, it looks great. The colours are consistent, overall I'll give it a 9/10.

2 Likes

Thanks!

12/10 Velociraptor legs. smile

2 Likes

Lol, if you like them legs...

I have them on a ton of MOCs.

1 Like

Boards are derping so cant enlarge the pics, but it looks pretty good to me. Would have probably had some orange on the chest to break-up the grey/silver.

Out of all the custom MOC's though, the rest some more consistent in terms of a colour scheme and build. My attention being drawn to the red and blue which i like, do you have any more pics of them?

2 Likes

Thanks! and here are the links.

http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/416364

http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/410901

here ya go!

2 Likes

The body looks cluttered
and what's with his face

1 Like

I like to be honest but the thing I HATE about HF build (please correct me what the build is called) is that there is armor on the front but not on the back and with this build you did it pretty swell. Nice moc8/10

1 Like

It is the CCBS build. And thanks!

both of which are meant to be that way. and the face....read the story...he is missing his eye and then he was burned. so that is some stuff on his mask to keep him together, thin of it as an eyepatch, and then some stuff to keep his face from falling apart.