Modernity: A Bionicle Story by Casiano Urbano (Work In Progress, I Need Help)

CHAPTER 1

Somewhere in the world of Spherus Magna, a Ta-Matoran is found sitting on a beach admiring another sunset after a long day of work. He had just finished a construction for the newest Village called Rohiriito, which from Matoran Language means ‘‘Rose Sanctuary’’ due to their large numbers by the coastal area.

‘‘Fierek!’’ a female voice called from the beach’s stone fence, cheerfully as if she had finally seen her long-lost brother.

The Ta-Matoran quickly turns towards the voice with surprise.

‘‘Oh, Vohkiri!’’ he replied with a smile as he got up, ‘‘So good to see you old friend!’’

Both figures then began running towards one another for a hug.

“When was the last time we saw?” Vohkiri asked with wonder, “It felt like AGES since you left the City for this Village project” she continued.

“3 years ago, I assume” Fierek answered, hoping to be right.

Shocked at the amount of time, the Vo-Matoran then proceeds to take something out of her bag “Bro, you seriously need one of these to stay in contact…” a flat gadget with a dark screen about roughly the size of her hand is shown.

“What’s that?” Fierek asked with great curiosity.

Vohkiri cleared her throat to answer, “I present to you… THE HOLO-COMMUNICATOR!”

“The Holo what??” he asked again, now with clear confusion on his face.

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In just in a few sentences, you gave some vital exposition, made the characters likable, and started an intriguing plot. Good start :slight_smile:

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while i chuckled at this it feels very out of place.

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Thanks! This story is focused on how the culture and technology had changed for everyone in Spherus Magna. All thanks to Mata Nui for reuniting both Magnians and his people. It starts slow, first introducing our characters, showing around Rohiriito and it’s villagers trying to stick to a natural way of life on current modern times.


Then a little more exposition to Turaga Takanuva’s New Atero with the help of Vohkiri (since she’s a city Vo-Matoran), where it closely resembles The Kingdom but also feels a lot like Metru Nui with all the flying ships, museums, schools and else.


The first villain of Fierek will be one of the many mutated creatures by the Energized Protodermis from the Core War days, which happens to hold a special kind of sword that’s bound to change the Ta-Matoran’s life forever.

I knew it! Welp, luckily i got you guys to help me do this. Once i finish this story, my plan is to convert it into comic format. THOUGH, since these are modern times and both world species have merged, wouldn’t it make sense that the use of slang words of some do change?

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You wrote just a few sentences and i’m already interested. If you need help for writing…I’m probably not who you should ask.

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Hey, this seems pretty engaging already. I’d recommend you write more!

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Glad to know it got you interested that quickly, that’s why i posted this so soon. In order to get any advise or help. I know how the story will somehow go, what’s hard is the writting, the spaces, etc.

I’ll do what i can. :ok_hand::grin:

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Perhaps make holocommunicators disks?

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Disks? :open_mouth:

like smaller kanoka?

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Or something like the gold discs from Lego Atlantis?

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Ooh, better idea! clapsIt would be like a holo-Ipad.

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Yeah :smiley: