Brisk winds cannot blow
in the depths of the mine,
and all is draped in shadow
for the stars cannot shine.
But with pick and with spade,
and light from special stone,
these Tohunga have made
starry skies of their own.
-Takua the Chronicler; “Lightstone Skies” [138 BR],
Proverbs from the Island of Mata Nui . 7 AR.
Le-Wahi
Ko-Wahi
Ta-Wahi
What of the digging, delver strong?
Brother, the days are cold and long.
What of the riches you find down there?
Brother, I’d much prefer the open air.
Aren’t the caves your ancient home?
Brother, I cannot love a catacomb.
What will you do? Do you plan to run?
Brother—I’ll do what I must to see the sun.
-Takua the Chronicler; “Midak’s Lament” [18 BR],
Proverbs from the Island of Mata Nui . 7 AR.
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these are all just really fun
your great at these!
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You should make some artwork to go with these. I could see some Japanese or Middle-Ages styled artwork fitting perfectly with the feel of your poems.
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writing poetry titled from the perspective of a Matoran? Glad I never did that.
I don’t think I can say much about the semantic meaning of either, so I’ll give you some critique on the meter. I ran through both, trying to find a phrasing that’s consistent and fun to use. The first one comes off pretty well as a dactylic meter (I used the phrasing “brisk WINDS can-not BLOW in the DEPTHS” and so forth, with the exception of one extra syllable in the third line. Wasn’t able to find a consistent rhyme structure as easily for Midak’s lament, though you could contract/expand a few words to get a solid “da-da-da-da, da-da-, da-da” sort of flow.
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I think that’s a really cool idea, actually. Woodblock paintings with Mata Nui scenery would be an interesting project—I’m not much of an artist, but it’s something to think about trying out!
@Hawkflight Hey, we named the poems similarly too! Thanks for the comment; the poem’s meter was actually done more or less unconsciously (My guiding principle being what sounds good to say out loud), and it’s interesting to see that some of the previous poems in this collection having been done quite differently. This definitely gave me a new tool to use in the future!
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