Scar vs. Nyran: The Decisive Clash

So, I wrote a thing. I know it sucks, and that I’m something of a crappy writer, but I was inspired by @MaximumWarp’s art of myself vs. Scar, so I made this excerpt of the hypothetical CHC: Civil War story.


The road between the TTVillage and the CHColony was a small, dirt road surrounded in a forest on both sides. Traversing upon said road were three men who sought to change the world. The Sorcerer Risebell, followed by his allies, Matt Goulet, of the codename MaximumWarp, and Scarilian. Upon arriving at the gates to the village, however, a figure stood, blocking their way. They trio recognized the being.

“Nyran? You’re serious? You actually intend to stop us?” Rise asked, disbelieving of such an occurrence. Typically, in a conflict, Nyran and Rise saw eye to eye. Today, this was not the case.

“I’m more than serious, Rise. What you plan is to install a dictatorship, ridding all of the peace and freedoms we have now! On my honor as a Knight, this I cannot allow.” Nyran replied, clenching his fist as the sun set before the four of them.

“Well, Ny, if you’re not with us, then you’re our enemy.” Rise responded back, as his hands began to glow with a purple energy.

“If to be your enemy means to fight for what I believe is right, then I will do it gladly. Besides, you’re no match for me.” Nyran responded back, as he reached for something in his pack under his cape.

“Oh trust me. I know that. That’s why I’m casting a spell of teleportation, while Scar gives you the smackdown. Brother.” Rise responded in return, giving a smirk while he and Matt disappeared in a purple light and smoke.

Scar wasted no time, adjusting his suit, before running at Nyran at an almost hypersonic speed. he ran at him with a punch infused with the Cosmic energy granted to him by the rulers of this land.

Barely in time to respond, Nyran pulled out his Driver, and with a cry of “Henshin” gave him access to his armored Rider form. the energy from the transformation was enough to repel the punch, but once the process had been completed, Nyran had to dodge quickly to avoid a flurry of attacks Scar was giving at inhuman levels of speed and strength.

Pulling his Rapier, the Rhisling from his side, Nyran began giving his own flurry of swings, slashes, and stabs to his opponent, only to have him dodge every single one.

After what had seemed like eternities of the two beings exchanging attacks, Scar had gotten the upper hand. Nyran had exhausted all the Belt’s energy, slowing him down. Scar was able to rip from the Driver from his waist, tearing the belt itself, while leaving the driver in-tact as he tossed it away.

Nyran knew what had to be done. mechanical tendrils shot out from his arms and collar beneath his clothing, as the wire-like fibers began to weave themselves into a highly durable yet light approximation of chain mail and plate armor. Appearing from seemingly nowhere, his shield and Lance spawned, as he gripped both of them, ready to continue the fight.

With the elation powers of the shield, and the destructive ability of the Lance, Nyran felt nearly invincible. Managing to land quite a few hits with the Lance, Nyran and Scar seemed almost at even pace.

By the time the fight had escalated any further, the only light that could be seen was from the strikes of the weapons, and the energy of Scar’s attacks. At this critical juncture, Nyran managed the blow that he suspected would win him the battle.

Nyran’s lance had impaled Scar’s suited body all the way through.

But it was a lost cause, fo at that moment, Scar’s true powers revealed themselves. Having his clothes torn, Scar’s default form began to take shape, as his armored body began expanding, Nyran quickly pulled his Lance from his body, Scar’s eyes glowing in the sheer power.

Swing after swing, stab after stab, Nyran continued to unleash his barrage upon Scar, only for it to have little effect. A critical juncture was made, when Nyran plunged his Lance once more into Scar’s body, only for scar to snap the metal itself , tearing out the chunk left in him as Nyran was left with nothing more than a hilt with a shattered stub.

At this point, Nyran truly had no hope of victory. This would not stop him, as he charged, shield first, hoping to get an injury with his broken lance at the least! It was for not, however, as Scar, merely punched the shield, causing it to shatter, fragments flying from what was left of it.

Scar finally took the deciding action, grabbing Nyran from the throat, as he was forced to drop his lance, the metal clanging upon the ground. He had only a look of disgust in his face.

“You should’ve known better, Nyran, than to try and fight me. It was hopeless from the start.” Scar said to him, his glowing eyes narrowing.

“I knew from the start. But that doesn’t matter! This fight was about the future, not the present. Even if I fall, another will take up my mantle. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not even in this decade, but one day, my Lance shall rise again in the hands of a new Sour Knight, and he shall begin the chain of events that shall be your downfall!” Nyran let out bitterly.

“A foolish sentiment. I have seen the future, as I always have, and I know that your successor shall never come to pass, and that Rise’s reign shall be brief, as I take my rightful place, not as Lord of Shadows, but as Grand Emperor of Shadows.” Scar said with a twisted, inhuman smirk formed from his alien mouth.

On that note, Scar crushed Nyran’s neck as his mechanical head fell to the ground, his mirror mask cracking on impact, revealing the fading, flickering glow of his blue optic sensor beneath.

Scar released the rest of his body, and walked further towards The Village, intending to finish what he, Matt, and Rise started.


So yeah, that’s my thing, hope you enjoyed it. If you didn’t, please tell me why it sucks. I’ve been trying to figure it out, but I guess if I knew that I wouldn’t be making it so bad. >.<

Maybe it’s just me, but it’s a bit depressing, writing your own death scene.

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I have done this all too often. Or… at least the character feels like me. I suppose I do that in my writing, I make the characters from a part of my own personality. It actually gives some pretty good insights as to A) How you’d react in a given situation, and B) How you’d go out.

I didn’t think that writing was that bad. It was very descriptive, if a bit repetitive. I found it enjoyable to read. Just keep working on writing to hone your voice a little bit, and you’ll have it good.

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Yeah. Been there, done that. It’s worse when you or the character started the battle knowing they were going to die ;_;

This was really enjoyable, if short. I’m just sad that Nyran lost. I always root for the author and the person who is not a giant alien.

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I keep saying: time can be rewritten. :stuck_out_tongue:

[quote=“Nyran, post:1, topic:4101”]
mirror mask
[/quote] Neil Gaiman, amirite?

M. Night…no…no, I’ll figure that wasn’t an intentional reference. XD

Overall, not a bad story, but I think it might be better with more context to draw the reader in. As it is, it’s basically just a fight scene, which is usually not going to be super-interesting unless you’re already invested in what’s going on and why the characters are fighting.

Sorry if I’m being too negative; I’m in critic-mode.

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Oh I totally agree. This really was just an excerpt, made for people who like, already know the CHC Civil War story.

When the full story gets like, made, it’ll make more sense. Promise. maybe

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It’ll probably end up being super-complicated and making even less sense. :stuck_out_tongue:

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