It’s stated that it’s usage drains Iruini, though I do agree I’m not sure about ‘just one or two uses’.
Whoops, good catch. I’m normally good about remembering that…
He says the line I quoted just before Annona teleports them all to the Skakdi Fortress, actually (Chapter 6, if you’re looking for it). It’s a different location, but it still fits.
Sure, go ahead!
Also, I know that it was never canon and the names of the characters were never officially approved by LEGO, but I think it would be cool to implement the characters or story elements from the draft of the 5th movie script, Bionicle #5 Treatment - blogs_blog_26 - BZPower
I didn’t rember about the energy drain but you’re right. But is a cyclone blast what drain his energy, and as you described the attack in the history, it looks like more a commont air attack.
The cyclone should be more like a mini tornado. After all, a cyclone (combined with lava) is capable of defeating a bunch of Frostelus and distract many Visorak.
All right, after much feedback on Iruini’s spear, I rewrote the scene. It isn’t really relevant anyway, since the camo wolf just runs off, so I just took out that part.
Oh, sure, I’ll probably have Likus, Tera, and Oris at some point, if I have a good role for them.
Chapter 3
Water. Why was it always water?
The Toa Mahri, it seemed, were fated to be in the water, ever since the Mask of Life had made them water-breathers so they could survive the bottom of the ocean. Once they had left the ocean and returned to Metru Nui, Kongu had hoped never to go underwater again.
Unfortunately, fate had not been so kind. The Mask of Life had left the Toa Mahri amphibious, making them uniquely suited for water missions. The mission on Zakaz had involved water travel. And now, Jaller had insisted that the Toa Mahri travel by water along the shoreline, so as to avoid being spotted. Kongu went along, because Jaller was right, but that didn’t mean he had to like it.
Kongu.
Kongu paused abruptly and glanced around, but the voice hadn’t come from outside – it had come from in his head.
Kongu, it’s me.
Kongu recognized the voice, but he couldn’t bring himself to say the name. Because he knew he had to be wrong. It couldn’t be…
He glanced around, looking for a source. There must be some being with psionic powers nearby, playing tricks on him. Maybe a Skakdi had followed them, or…
Quit spinning your head like a maniac, the voice went on. I’m in your head, and it’s making me dizzy.
“You can’t be real,” Kongu muttered.
Swimming next to him at the back of the group, Hewkii turned to look at the Toa of Air. “What?”
I’m very real, the voice replied. I’ve missed you, Kongu. I’ve missed our adventures, missed your sense of humor.
Kongu swam a bit ahead, out of Hewkii’s hearing. “No,” he said. “This is some Skakdi trick. You’re dead!”
Kongu’s voice rose on the last part, and Hewkii swam up by his side again. “Kongu, are you okay?”
I thought I was dead, too, the voice said. But I was wearing the Mask of Life. Perhaps the rules of life and death don’t apply to me.
Kongu looked at Hewkii. “I’m fine,” he said. “Just… don’t like the water. Brings back bad memories.”
Hewkii nodded understandingly. Those of the element of stone didn’t like water much more than those of the element of air, and Hewkii had shared the same experiences underwater as Kongu had, in Mahri Nui.
Water, the voice agreed. You know, I used to actually like the water. Then we met the Barraki.
The mention of the Barraki made Kongu shudder. He remembered all too well the monstrous creatures that the Toa Mahri had faced, when chasing after the Mask of Life. They were once warlords, before being exiled to the pit and mutated into hideous beasts. Kongu still saw their faces in his nightmares.
As far as Kongu was concerned, the Barraki were reason 496 why water was awful.
Kongu, I need you to listen to me, the voice said, seriously. Otherwise, I will have died for nothing.
That brought Kongu up short. He stopped swimming for a moment, shaking. “How dare you?” he growled. “Bad enough you pretend to be Matoro, hero of the universe, and my friend – but now you say his sacrifice meant nothing?!”
Kongu, I died to save Mata Nui, Matoro’s voice said in his head. And where is he now? Gone, with Makuta taking his place.
Kongu blinked in surprise. What the voice said was true. It had been an awful day, when the Makuta had revealed that he had taken control of the Universe and replaced Mata Nui. Even worse, the Great Spirit dying, and then Matoro bringing him back to life, had all been part of Makuta’s plan.
Still… “If you – if Matoro hadn’t brought Mata Nui back, then the whole Universe would’ve quick-died. Makuta might be in control now, but the Matoran are alive. They have a chance. We just have to defeat Makuta.”
Oh, Kongu, Makuta’s already dead.
Kongu’s eyes widened. “What?!”
You missed a lot while you were under that trance, Matoro’s voice explained. Makuta was defeated, the Matoran Universe is destroyed, and the Matoran have found a new home. Everyone else, too, has left the old Universe, including the Skakdi. You’re swimming in an ocean of this new world.
Kongu couldn’t believe it. “How is this possible? And… how could you think-know this?”
While you were in that trance, I could still tell everything that went on, Matoro explained. The Skakdi know what happened, or at least, part of the story… they don’t seem to know all the details, or they didn’t say them around you, I’m not sure. I would tell you to ask them, but… going back to them would probably be a bad idea. Skakdi are… not fun to deal with.
There was something about the way he said that last part. Back when the Toa Mahri were the Toa Inika, they had faced six powerful Skakdi, the Piraka. It was a tough battle, one they’d nearly lost multiple times. Kongu still held a lot of fear and hesitation when it came to dealing with Skakdi… and he could feel those same emotions in the voice that spoke to him now.
“It’s… really you?” he said, hesitant to believe it.
Yes, it’s me, Matoro said. Kongu, I need your help. This world isn’t safe for the Matoran. There’s a great danger here, one that must be dealt with. This is more important than the Skakdi, more important than the Fusion. It’s big.
Kongu thought for a long moment. If this really was Matoro… Matoro had died, or at least been willing to die, for his friends, for everyone. Kongu doubted that anyone truly cared about others quite as much as Matoro did. If he said this was serious…
“Okay,” Kongu said. “How can we help?”
Not we, Toa Kongu, the voice answered. Not the Toa Mahri. Just you.
Jaller was starting to get the feeling that the Toa Mahri were getting nowhere.
They’d been traveling along the shore for over an hour now, but they’d seen no sign of life. No civilization, no settlements, just an enldess sea next to an endless beach that led into an endless forest.
Maybe they should go back. Like it or not, the Skakdi Fortress was the only place they knew of that had any sign of civilization. Perhaps the Mahri could capture and interrogate one of the Skakdi, and figure out where they were that way.
No, Jaller realized, that plan would never work. He thought back to the Piraka, and how powerful they’d been. Capturing a Skakdi, alive, was probably more than even five Toa could handle.
Then perhaps the Toa Mahri could figure out how the Skakdi had gotten here. From there, they could figure out how to get back. The Skakdi had to have left some kind of trail that the Toa could follow.
Jaller turned to the rest of the Toa Mahri. “All right,” he said. “This isn’t getting us anywhere. We have to–”
Abruptly, Jaller paused. There was something wrong with his team, something out of place. He glanced at each of the Toa. Hahli… Hewkii… Nuparu… wait a second.
“Where’s Kongu?”
That would be so awesome! I’d love to see some new characters we’ve never met before.
I’m not entirely sure how I feel about Matoro coming back, though. Does he only exist in Kongu’s mind or has he become a sort of ghost or something like Annona?
Speaking of Bionicle 5 characters, I have a great name for the skrall character. Coveh, it’s a misspelling of Kovë which translates to “Buckethead” in the Albanian language
What is going on here… Do you have power to revive dead?!
Nice chapter. Your jokes fit perfectly. Maybe slightly more tree-speak should be added. Also now the "draining spear’ scene is much better, sounds more smooth. But you haven’t corrected “miles” (sorry if you haven’t made it intentionaly, this is just a friendly reminder). Now I really do look forward to the next chapter.
Noted.
I actually changed it to “a day’s journey”, because I’m not sure if Bio, Kio, and Mio are used on Spherus Magna, and I don’t want a scene of Metus asking “What’s a Kio?” interrupting the flow of the scene.
Chapter 4
“That’s the Skakdi Fortress? It’s huge!”
“Well, Kopaka did say it was big.”
“Yeah, but hearing it and seeing it are two different things.”
Listening to the two Toa banter, Metus felt uneasy. Sure, they were talking fairly quietly, and the fortress was still really far away, far enough that no one at the fortress could hear them if they shouted, but Metus still felt nervous being in sight of that fortress.
The only sign of the battle that had taken place was a set of black spikes emerging from the ground near the Fortress. The two monsters who had been fighting were nowhere to be seen, though the strange warriors were still everywhere. The Toa had called them Skakdi, a name that Metus found fittingly disturbing.
Another thing that was nowhere to be seen, however, was more Toa. By now, Metus had come to realize what the Toa looked like, and the strange warriors that patrolled around the Fortress weren’t Toa. According to the Toa Metus had met, a few of their own had traveled with the Skakdi to this Fortress, apparently in some kind of trance.
Metus had led two of the Toa, Gaaki and Pouks, to scout out the Fortress. He had seriously considered claiming that he had gotten so lost, he wouldn’t be able to find the Fortress again, but he was worried the Toa would know he was lying.
These Toa were different from Mata Nui. Mata Nui had been almost childlike, unfamiliar with practically everything, not the slightest clue what he was doing. Metus was easily able to fool Mata Nui. But these Toa – the Toa Hagah, as they called themselves – clearly had lots of experience, and knew what to do and how to do it. Metus felt safer with them around, but also uncomfortable, knowing they would be able to see right through him if he tried any tricks.
“Andar, do you see anyone you recognize?” Pouks asked.
Metus shook his head. “Same strange warriors, no sign of the two big monsters or any of your kind.” It occurred to Metus that there was no sign of Sahmad, either. Had he died? Gotten enough sense to run away? Or perhaps he was inside, being held captive by the Skakdi. Maybe he was with the other Toa that the Hagah sought.
“Well, it doesn’t seem like we’ll be getting anything from out here,” Gaaki said. “We need to get inside the building.”
Metus shuddered slightly. “You can go ahead. I’m not going in there. I’ll wait here.”
“We’re not going in right now,” Gaaki said. “We need Norik and Iruini for that.”
Metus recognized the names as other members of the Toa Hagah.
“Hey, what’s that?” Pouks cut in.
Metus looked where Pouks was pointing, and spotted a large, red serpent, crawling around near the Fortress. It wasn’t like anything he’d seen on Bara Magna before. But he remembered the strange creatures that one of the reality-warping monsters had created during their battle, and wondered if this was another one.
As Metus and the Toa watched, the serpent crawled toward the Fortress. Strangely, the Skakdi didn’t seem all that concerned. And then Metus realized why, as the Snake passed right through them, and then the Fortress, simply phasing through them like they weren’t there.
Pouks glanced at Metus. “You say one of the people who were here made that thing?”
Metus nodded. “I’m fairly certain it was the big gold one. He came from inside the Fortress, so if he’s still alive, he’s probably still in there.”
“He matches the description Kopaka gave of the being who made the Fortress,” Gaaki said. “He sounds like a powerful guy. I think we need to see this beast, figure out what we’re up against.”
“We need to find the Mahri,” Pouks countered. “They’ll probably know more about this than we do. We need to get in there and get them out.”
Gaaki started to answer, then paused. “Something’s coming.”
It took Metus a moment to hear it, but there was indeed something moving through the forest, heading toward the two Toa. They both prepared for a fight, if the approaching being spotted them.
But then they saw the being, and lowered their weapons. “Kongu!”
The new figure looked shocked at the sound of someone calling his name, but brightened slightly when the two Toa showed themselves. “Gaaki! Pouks! Man, am I glad to see you guys!”
“Kongu, what happened?” Pouks said. “How did you get out of the Fortress?”
“I’ll explain later!” Kongu said. “Right now, we need to go. The other Toa Mahri are in danger!”
“They’ve been gone too long,” Norik said.
The other four Toa Hagah were gathered at their campsite. Feeling that six Toa moving as a group were more likely to get noticed, Norik had sent two of the team on ahead with Metus, while he waited with the rest.
“Shall we go after them?” Kualus asked.
Norik thought for a moment. “Kualus, anything from the native birds?” His Ice companion had a way of communicating with birds, and often used them to scout out far-away locations.
But Kualus shook his head. “The birds here are… different. They’re not like the ones from our world. I can’t communicate with them, not yet.”
Norik sighed. “All right. We’ll go, follow our friend’s trail and see if we can figure out what happened to them.”
“Wait!” Bomonga cut in. “Someone’s coming.”
Indeed, someone was crashing through the woods, clearly moving swiftly. A few moments later, Metus emerged into the clearing, panting.
“Andar?” Norik said. “Where are the Toa?”
“They’re… taken…” Metus gasped.
“Taken?” Norik said.
“By the Shadow…” Metus said. “I’m not sure what it is… I think he controls it…”
“Who controls it?” Norik demanded.
Metus straightened. “One of the ones you seek, Kongu,” he explained. “He’s taken your friends.”
“Kongu?” Bomonga said. “Taken them, what, on a mission?”
Metus shook his head. “No. He’s taken their minds. Your teammates are under his control now…” Metus glanced around nervously. “…and I suspect he’s coming for you next.”
Did you mean to say Metus?
Yes, I did, thank you.
quietly wonders how both I and my friend who proofread this story missed that
No problem.
Also, I’ve heard people complain that Mata Nui’s character didn’t fall in line with the ruler of a universe and that he should have been initially more demanding or caring only about himself. But I like that you pointed out his naivety and I think that could be a fitting characteristic of the ruler of a universe, as well.
You had me worried for a moment bringing back Matoro. Please no 
I don’t think Mata Nui is a ruler. He was the universe but it was his body, he wasn’t sit on a throne. He didn’t pay attention to his inabitants, as we don’t pay atention to our cells. As he was built, he is a explorer and caring (he was destined to reform Spherus Magna). Only when he was banished, he undertood that he had people inside him.
Right, well, the idea still remains that he didn’t have any experience in even communicating with others face-to-face, so it’s reasonable that he’d read other’s emotions similar to how a child would.
Chapter as good as previous were. Same pros. 
Word “guy” three times in a row, sound not very smoothly.
And in the second part there are 5 Toa Hagah at campsite, and Kongu, Metus and 1 Toa Hagah (Iruini?) gone away. Why at the end Metus says “teammates”, if there is only one of them?
good point, yeah. Unintentional overuse of words is my Achilles heel of writing.
If you mean this:
I was counting Norik in that. So, four Toa Hagah at the campsite: Norik, Kualus, Bomonga, and an unmentioned Iruini; while Gaaki and Pouks are with Metus. Gaaki and Pouks were who Metus meant when he said teammates.
Hope that clears up the confusion. 
Didn’t metus give a fake name to the toa hagah?
Oh, I’ve misunderstood the whole thing, my mistake. Thank you for clarifiying.
Also, I wanted to, hmm, discuss the part where Marendar appears: some time ago there was a topic where continuation of Marendar’s story was discussed. And I really like the idea that was here. Do you consider it? It is just so logical, I think it would be cool continuation.
Oh, shoot, you’re right!
It’s kinda an important detail later, too, so I should definitely fix that.
Probably, yeah. I don’t have any ideas involving Marendar yet, but he’s got to show up eventually.
Fun fact: two of the newest literature topics almost have the title of my story split between them.
Nothing wrong with that, just found it kinda funny.
Anyway, new chapter!
Chapter 5
Jaller was starting to get very worried.
First, Kongu had inexplicably disappeared. The other Toa Mahri had returned to the Fortress, but they had seen no sign of their missing companion. Jaller had sent Nuparu to scout around the Fortress with his Mask of Stealth, and the Toa of Earth had yet to return.
We’re down two members, we have no idea what’s going on here or where we even are, Jaller thought. We need a new plan, and perhaps some allies.
“Look out!”
Lost in thought, Jaller almost didn’t hear Hewkii’s cry. He turned to see Hewkii running toward him, raising his hands. Then he looked up, and saw what had the Stone Toa panicked: part of the cliffside had collapsed, and was about to fall on top of him, only Hewkii’s power holding it back.
Jaller yelped and moved out of the way, just as Hewkii released his control and let the rocks crash to the ground. Jaller caught a glimpse of Hewkii, caught in the avalanche.
“Hewkii!” he cried.
He started to run into the pile of rocks, but then he saw someone standing up in the cloud of dust. He breathed a sigh of relief.
But when the dust cleared, it wasn’t Hewkii who stood before him. It was Nuparu. “Oh, hey Jaller,” the Earth Toa said. “Sorry about that. Thought I’d use my power to make a staircase, instead of climbing down; didn’t mean to cause an avalanche.”
“You nearly crushed us,” Jaller said. “Wait, where’s Hewkii?”
“Over here,” the Stone Toa replied, pushing aside some rocks. “My power kind of gave out there for a moment, just barely managed to get it back under control to avoid being crushed.”
“Jaller, we’ve made a serious mistake,” Nuparu said. “We need to go back.”
“Back?” Jaller said, confused.
“To the Skakdi,” Nuparu said. “Don’t you remember? We served them earlier. Then that… thing… made us forget, and we thought we had to leave. But I remember now. We should be with the Skakdi.”
“Nuparu, what are you talking about?” Jaller said, starting to worry.
“The Skakdi are the new power in this world,” Nuparu said. “We should be serving them, not trying to escape from them.”
Abruptly, Jaller had a vague memory, of himself saying something very similar, back on Zakaz. That was the last thing he could remember before waking up in the Fortress. In which case…
“Nuparu, you’re under a trance,” he said. “You must have been caught in it again when you went back to the Fortress. You have to snap out of it.”
“No!” Nuparu said. “It’s you who’s under a trance. And I’m going to make you see reason…” Nuparu raised his weapons, “…by force if necessary.”
“Nuparu, don’t–” It was too late. Nuparu’s Blaster Blade unleashed a shockwave, knocking Jaller off his feet. He landed on the ground, and felt the dirt begin to swallow him.
Hewkii raised his hand, unleashing a hand of stone to grab the Earth Toa. At least, that’s what he tried to do, but just like earlier, his elemental power wouldn’t obey him.
“Having trouble?” Nuparu said. “Maybe it’s a sign, that you’re not using it how you’re meant to. You should be using your power in service of the Skakdi.”
“Okay, I don’t know what trick you’re pulling here,” Hewkii said. “But if powers don’t work on you, maybe this will shock some sense into you.” He swung his electrified chains toward the Toa of Earth.
But Nuparu easily blocked the attack with his shield. Then he unleashed another shockwave. Hewkii barely managed to stay standing.
“Please,” Nuparu said. “A blind worm could’ve blocked that attack, the way you – oof!” Nuparu’s taunt was abruptly cut off as Hahli tackled him to the ground.
Released from the pull of the earth, Jaller got back to his feet, and saw the Toa of Water and the Toa of Earth grappling on the ground. “Hewkii, can’t you restrain him with your powers?”
“I can’t!” Hewkii replied. “It’s like my elemental powers just aren’t responding.”
Nuparu tossed Hahli aside, and she slammed into a nearby rock, crying out in pain. Jaller ran to her side, but she wasn’t seriously hurt.
Meanwhile, Nuparu got back up. “Enough of this,” he grumbled. “Perhaps if I kill one of you, you’ll see reason.”
Hahli gasped. “Toa don’t kill,” Hewkii said.
“That’s right, they don’t,” Nuparu said. “But the Skakdi do, and they know better than us, don’t they?”
But before Nuparu could attack, the Stone around him shaped into a hand, grabbing him and restraining him.
Jaller glanced at Hewkii. “I thought you said you couldn’t use your powers?”
“That wasn’t me,” Hewkii replied, just as confused.
“No, it was me.”
Startled, Jaller turned to see two more Toa approaching. He recognized them. “Gaaki! Pouks! How’d you guys get here?”
“It’s a long story,” Pouks said. “For right now, though, we need to get away from that Fortress, and get your friend out of that trance.”
“You know how we can do that?” Jaller asked, helping Hahli to her feet.
“We know a way,” Gaaki said. “Come with us. We’ll take you to the others.”
“The other Toa Hagah?” Jaller guessed.
There was a strange moment of hesitation, before Pouks answered, “Yes.” Jaller quickly dismissed it, not seeing any reason to suspect the two Toa Hagah.
But just as the Toa were about to depart, another voice cried out “Wait!”
Jaller turned to see a small, white-armored figure running down the beach. His first thought was that it was a Ko-Matoran, but this figure was clearly not a Matoran, and wore a helmet instead of a mask. Jaller couldn’t recall seeing a being like him before.
“They’re leading you into a trap!” the figure said. “Don’t follow them!”
“Andar!” Gaaki said. “Jaller, ignore him. He’s a local swindler, tried to trick us earlier.”
“No!” Andar said. “You have to listen to me! They’re leading you to the Shado–ack!” He was cut off by a blast of water from Gaaki’s spear.
“Come on,” Pouks said. “You want to save Nuparu, don’t you?”
“Stop!” Andar cried, getting back up again. “Mata Nui sent me!”
That got Jaller’s attention.
“What did you say?”
Oh, man! I keep getting more curious and excited with each chapter!
