Story Idea. Looking for Feedback

Not quite sure if this is the right place for this, but it’s the only one that really makes sense, considering it’s about writing a story.

If someone can think of a more appropriate place, don’t hesitate to let me know.

Now that’s out of the way, onto the idea:

A Bionicle\Mass Effect cross over.

I have a few basic points in mind:

First, it would only be a few individuals from Bionicle, (three or four at most) transplanted into the Mass Effect universe via the single best enabling plot device ever conceived, the Olmak.

The period of time when the story would take place would be just prior to the Legend of Metru Nui and just before the start of the Reaper War respectively.



Sounds cool.

Nothing a bit more substantial?

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Well, I don’t know much about mass effect, soooo.

EDIT: I don’t think you need to put so much effort into making it fit into bionicle lore. You can if you want to, but you can always just make it a fun crossover.

All you really need to know is it’s this generation’s Star Wars.

As to making Mass Effect fit Bionicle…

It’s the opposite really:

Mass Effect is probably the Sci-fi with the least OP stuff going and the richest lore.

If you dropped a Toa Team into any point of the story, suddenly things become very one-sided against whoever they wind up fighting.


I think this generation’s star wars is star wars episode VII

I can’t tell if you’re trolling or missed my point:

Star Wars was the defining Sci-fi of the '70s.

Mass Effect is the defining Sci-fi of the last eight years.

Yaaah, Star Wars has been the defining Sci-Fi anything for the past forty years straight. You are more likely to find a Star Wars Fan randomly then you are a Mass Effect Fan.

I don’t know how that Star Wars Tangent happened, but I think the Story Idea could work if you could give equal attention between The Toa and The Mass Effect People Things.


Whole point of limiting the Bionicle cast to a handful of characters.

The Star Wars tangent just happened.

My cast so far stands at:

A Toa of Plasma.
A Toa of Water.
And potentially a Matoran.

That’s not what I’m worried about. You might feel like you should focus on the Bonkle Characters since there is less of them, meaning the Mass Effect People Things could have less attention.

It’s a hazard I’m well acquainted with and I know how to avoid.

The trick is to make make sure the Mass Effect characters stay relevant.

I’m not a fan of curb-stomp fics, so that should be fairly easy.

How to write a Toa of Plasma is probably the biggest thing I could use input in presently.

In my mind, they seem like they’d be rather conflicted, considering that their powers would be among the most outright lethal a Toa could possess, but how to portray that in a character is giving me some trouble.

Maybe the Olmek got broken and all it’s energy was released into a giant portal.

My idea involves a Makuta looking for an instant-fix to a problem.

I’m kind of stuck on names for characters as well, not to mention a title.


The Olmak was the mask of dimensional gates. The Olmec was a south american civilization. Olmek is an online vault.

You want the first one.

Anyways, I’m no usually huge on crossovers, so I don’t really know that this would work out too well.



I thought I might’ve got the spelling wrong.

Been a while since I last went on a Bionicle lore-binge.

It depends heavily on how well thought out the concept is and the author doing the writing getting the execution right.

Oh, it’s totally doable. Like you said, you really have to get it just right.

Hence asking for feedback to nail down details and iron out the wrinkles.

Don’y know anything about Mass Effect, but it still sounds cool. I look forward to it. :smile: