So here’s a longish and weird and embarrassing one. I’ve always loved how dreams make their own rules, like their own little worlds. In this particular dream, I was having lunch with my friends (already a departure from reality by the way) when suddenly if it ain’t my boy Sonic the Hedgehog who comes zooming by. So I have got go after him, right? Right? So of course I chase after him –jumpcut to rooftop because all my dreams are half in first-person and half loose mental images shot like a movie – and the two of us start grinding on the railings of the town. It’s basically Sunset Overdrive from this point on. We grind on railings and telephone wires, defying even the most principle laws of physics while moving throughout the city (I live very far from any city in reality). And I desperately lean forward and overtake Sonic the Hedgehog. It’s a moment of victory. Also, apparently this was a race, because there’s a nondescript building’s roof that for some reason, I KNOW in my mind, is the finish line. However, just as I pass out the spikey nemesis, Eggman knocked me off-balance with some flying machine thing. Sonic won the race, and I finished and walked over to him. He said, “Gotta go fast; you’re too slow!”
Know what? Know what?! I had had enough of this stupid hedgehog. He’s overrated, has at most two good games, he won the stupid race, and now he’s bragging! So you know what? I’m going to spit at this blue menace. I walk over to him, raise my chin, grimace, summon it from the back of my throat and full force spit right as I wake up… It slowly dribbled out of my mouth in reality and down the side of my cheek in a gooey, physical realization of the shame of my loss. I wiped it away and lay in bed for the next half hour, analysing it. Took it down after I got up so I’d remember it. So that’s the whole story about how I was defeated and shamed by Sonic the Hedgehog.