The Lone Baterra (Replacement to Makuta Olisi: Awakening)

Welp. I can’t continue Makuta Olisi,because I turned him into a battera,soooo…
(Sorry.)

Anywho, as a replacement,i decided to make a new topic!
Again,my apologies. @Senit @Rukah Your characters will still be featured(If you want them to be),just not in the same setting.
So,here is my new and revamped story. Enjoy.

Battera initializing_... Success    Damage: 15%  Rebooting...

Olisi opened his eyes,his optics fuzzy. His surroundings faded into view,along with a heads up display.

Objective: N/A_  Battera Army Status: N/A_

“W-what? Where?” Olisi was confused, his surroundings,alien. He remembered being on Bota Magna, being booted up by the great beings, and then being guardians of the planet. But where was he now? This could not be Bota Magna,for there are trees,and flowers,and all other things that certainly were not on Bota Magna. He looked at himself,analyzing any and all damage he could.

Major Damage: None  Minor damage: Armor

That’s it? But then how did i get here? The Battera rose to his feet.
A rumble echoed across the forest,as a massive creature emerged; The Nui Jaga.
Its bug eyes surveyed its intended next meal,as the razor sharp claws snapped in anticipation. The rumbling resumed as the Nui Jagas legs pounded the soft ground,drowning out Olisi’s own panicked footsteps. As the Batteras feet did not know the terrain,it was instantly clear that the great scorpion would win.
WHAT THE HECK IS THAT WHY IS IT CHASING ME OH WHY
As the rahi soon neared,the ground beneath both of their feet was starting to run out, as it lead to a sheer cliff. Olisi,not paying attention to what was in front of him,nearly dropped off the cliff. Twisting his neck the other way,he saw the giant creature running full speed at him,unaware of the massive cliff. Olisi took a deep breath. And disappeared. The bug,caught be this new situation,dropped off the cliff,screeching all the way down. Olisi unshapeshifted himself from the ground.
He promptly walked away from the scene,emitting a sonar blast. He pulled up a map,showing the nearest last locations of the battera. Ok,so there’s a big pulse here. He thought. So,best go there then!

END

6 Likes

Hm, pretty good so far.

Ok that sounds pretty interesting.

You can use her if you want.

3 Likes

Thx. What do you think of the story?

1 Like

Storywise it is good. The idea of an intelligent Baterra being in the Matoran universe is unique and a Baterra being the main character as well. Ok actually just using a Baterra at all is not seen so often.

The writing is nice as well. The main problems are the missing spaces behind the commas and the capitalisation of names being incorrect sometimes (though as I mess up capitalisations way too often, I can’t really be one to complain about it.)

3 Likes

ooh this new story seems pretty interesting. I quite like the premise of an intelligent Baterra.

Also yes you can use Rukah if you want.

2 Likes

I like the formatting on this. The story’s also pretty nice!

2 Likes

ooo cool!

1 Like

Cappuccino felt like she was dead. Her body was heavy like lead,after all,as she had gotten out of bed. Her daily routine of chugging extremely caffeine rich coffee and making deadly weapons woke her up in a snap.

High Caliber Weapons made: 23  Cups of coffee: 2

She sighed in contentment. Time for breakfast.
Time for breakfast burgers…
She descended down the stairs,
Syrup was again watching a reality tv show about some garbage,
Waffles was playing with some butterflies outside,Crumpets was out on another caper,and the rest in the enormous complex were doing their own daily routine.
The good thing about an enormous complex is that everyone has their own fridge. The bad thing is,this makes it easier for Syrup to empty out the fridges. As Cappuccino opened her fridge,what she found was…enraging.
SYRUP!” She bellowed. “WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY FOOD?!
Mehgh.” Syrup answered.
I ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DIRTY THIEF!” Cappuccino continued.
Oh,I don’t know,maybe I gave it to someone else?” Syrup replied.
UUUUUUGGGHHH.” She plopped onto the couch and opened her laptop.
Lets see what the news is. As She did,the headlines read: WAR OF BATS VS. BAT MITES VS. MAD SCIENTIST HAS ENDED-
BOOOORING.
Cappuccino exited the complex,and greeted Waffles.
How are you Waffles?” She asked.
I’m fine. How are you?
Mad. Syrup ate all my food again.
Yeah She doe-” Waffles was cut short as a blue armored figure smashed through the treeline,took a look at both Cappuccino and Waffles,and promptly collapsed.

END

3 Likes

interesting…

1 Like

What do you mean by interesting?

1 Like

You brought in the bats even though they weren’t in the first chapter

Well,i had to include Cappuccino somewhere…
Also i included the war

1 Like

this is an officially sanctioned bat-related storyline

HECK YES

1 Like