Disclaimer: There's a few changes used to terms in the books. For example, "hobbits" are now "scrubs." It also takes scenes from the actual films, so I'm sorry if you hate me for that, lol.
Seven Masks for the Admins under the Sky
Three for the Masters in their halls of Discord
Nine for Protectors doomed to be banned
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of BZPower where the Shadows lie
One Mask to review them all, One Mask to find them
One Mask to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
Chapter 1 - The Long-Awaited Livestream
When Mr. Eljay Baggins had announced the the TTV Podcast was doing it’s 500th Podcast with a live-stream of much magnificence, all the villagers of Scrubbington became excited.
Eljay had become very rich ever since he left with the dwarves that fateful day, seemingly disappearing forever until he eventually made a surprising return. The riches he returned with became local legend in Scrubbington. Some say the entire Moddit hole was filled with riches, while others hoped the entire hill he lived under was filled with tunnels of gold. And if that wasn’t enough for Eljay’s fame, there was his prolonged vigour to astonish at. Time wore on, but Eljay pretty much looked the same. In 2016 he looked like he did in 2014, and in 2017 he looked just the same. People called him “well preserved” but perhaps the word “unchanged” would be a better term. There were some who shook their heads and felt this was too much of a good thing; it felt unfair that someone should have so much health and limitless youth.
“It will have to be paid for!” some scrubs said. “Such luck comes at a price!”
But so far no trouble had come to Eljay. In fact, he was rather generous with his wealth. He had even taken up an heir, in which he adopted, called Slimbo Baggins. Slimbo’s parents had died when they were on a boat. Slimes aren’t supposed to be near water, yet somehow his parents fell in and completely dissolved. As such, poor Slimbo had become an orphan. Eljay felt compassionate and adopted poor Slimbo. This disappointed the Lameville-Bagginses, who wanted Eljay’s spot on the podcast for themselves. Curiously, Slimbo and Eljay shared the same date on which their podcasts where being hosted, which was September 22nd
People began to discuss what Eljay was going to do for the 500th podcast. It was the subject of the year, since 500 was such a special number. At the same time, it was the Modcast’s 100th podcast, meaning it was it was time for it to finally become significant. As such, people began to discuss Eljay’s character.
“I bet Eljay doesn’t have actual riches,” one scrub said.
“That’s kinda impossible,” Cronkwise Gamgee assured to a crowd. “How else would he afford to spend so much on production equipment?”
Now Cronkwise personally knew the Bagginses. After all, he was their gardener. Every day, in the garden, Cronk would look at the flagged posts and then fix them, thus helping the vegetables grow. The Bagginses never paid much attention to him though.
As such, the month of April rolled around, and the 500th episode of the Podcast was finally approaching. A rumor was started (probably by Cronk) that there was going to be fireworks at the celebration. Fireworks, something the villagers of Scrubbington had never seen since the very beginning of the Podcast, back when BIONICLE G1 had died.
The Day drew nearer and nearer. Slimbo was reading a book under a tree when he saw a wagon coming by. (Slimbo was known to explore the outskirts of town, something scrubs became afraid of.) He looked closely at the old, bearded fellow driving the coach. He wore a red fez, a large red bowtie, and a long grey cloak. Slimbo had only heard of such an individual a few times from Eljay, but he knew who it was, without a doubt. Springing to his feet, he dropped the book and ran to the old man.
“Jognalf!” Slimbo cried. “Jognalf is here!”
Of course, this frightened all the scrubs. Jognalf was a strange old man. He was a wizard, who’s powers were very much unknown to all the scrubs. They hid in their holes as the wagon slowly crept up the hill. Jognalf, hearing the cries of Slimbo, whipped the ponies and ordered them to go faster. But alas, Slimbo somehow outran them.
“Jognalf!” Slimbo cried. “I’m your biggest fan! I’ve heard all the stories from Eljay about you!”
“Did you now?” Jognalf said with a desperate frown.
“Yeah! He told me about how you abandoned him and the dwarves in the woods, and how they almost died several times because you decided to make a dramatic entrance instead of keeping them from danger-”
“I think that is quite enough of those stories,” Jognalf huffed.
Jognalf didn’t bother to look at Slimbo as the little scrub sat next to him in the wagon. Slimbo decided to ramble about something else, like why the heck he has hair when he’s a slime. Jognalf looked back a few times to make sure the fireworks weren’t being stolen. Then, after Slimbo rambled, he came down to a sigh.
“Maybe I should have put a bookmark in the page I was on. I had forgotten which page I was on.”
“Maybe you should read books instead of bothering me,” Jognalf suggested. “You’ll learn much more about adventures than Eljay will ever tell you.”
“Aw but those are fiction,” Slimbo complained.
“And how do you know Eljay isn’t lying to you?” Jognalf asked.
“Well,” Slimbo replied, “I have seen his mask.”
Jognalf stopped the horses. Then, looking at the scrub, he furrowed his eyebrows. “You’ve seen the mask?”
“That’s what I just said mang.”
“I was afraid this would happen,” Jognalf said to himself.
Jognalf’s horses trotted along the small brick road that led to Scrubbington. In the distance, tents could be seen. Jognalf checked on his fireworks again, and sighed.
“Hey Jognalf?” Slimbo asked.
“Could I be let off here? I forgot my book back there. I dunno what I was thinking…”
“You weren’t doing that at all,” Jognalf mused with a grin. One of Jognalf’s many wizard-powers was the ability to roast people. It was quite dangerous.
Slime jumped off the wagon, while Jognalf rode on, whipping the horses to go faster. The Day was soon arriving.
Finally, the day of the Podcast had come. All of Eljay’s family members had come, while Slimbo’s few friends had also joined. Jognalf unloaded the fireworks and hid them in a tent. Then, he sealed it tight, to make sure no scrubs would enter. Many villagers and scrubs ate and drank at the party, discussing bogus theories about BIONICLE.
Cronk was definitely enjoying himself, giving his outrageous theory of whether G2 was killed due to a BIONICLE movie. Of course, Eljay came over and slapped him silly. Then Cronk was scolded further by the crowd around him.
Slimbo, however, was lonely. He knew something didn’t feel right with the party. While Cronk was being beat up, all Slimbo could focus on was Eljay. He looked different. He had his hand over his backpack the whole time. It was oddly suspicious. Slimbo got up from the oaken bench and decided to talk to Eljay.
Eljay was surrounded by dwarves. They were his travel buddies from the journey he took long ago. Slimbo inspected them with interest.
“Ah, my boy Slimbo!” Eljay exclaimed. “These are my friends of old, in whom we got the gold from. Meet Exx, Invi, Takuma, Ven, and Meso. They’re a jolly crowd, I tell you!”
“How’s life and such?” the thin but bearded dwarve Meso asked Slimbo.
“Uh, fine I guess,” Slimbo stated.
Eljay slapped Slimbo on the back, making Slimbo cough up his drink. “That’s no way to talk to a dwarve, Slimbo! Talk with pride!”
“Well, I did happen to finish reading that book today,” Slimbo said as he conjured up achievable things. “Oh, and I got a Nintendo Switch.”
The dwarve Ven looked at Slimbo with glee.
“Certainly you must be bootlegging with us!” Ven exclaimed.
“Heh. Well actually, I did manage to get it.”
Slimbo pulled it out of his backpack. The dwarves had never seen such a beautiful thing. But Eljay then took Slimbo by the collar and dragged him behind the dwarves. The Switch fell on the ground, fortunately not a scratch coming to its surface.
“Look Slimbo,” Eljay said as he pointed to an odd couple of scrubs. “It’s the Lameville-Bagginses. I’d rather they don’t see us.”
The Lameville-Bagginses walk past the dwarves, looking sharply for the Bagginses, but they never find them. When they are twenty feet away, Eljay breathes a sigh of relief.
“I’m not in the mood to deal with those folks right now,” Eljay uttered.
Meanwhile, two strange scrubs walk near a red tent, seeing if they could find Jognalf’s mysterious fireworks. The first one, Pekky, huddles on the ground to search for an opening. He eventually finds one. Then, Plurbin, the second scrub, looks to see what Jognalf is doing.
“Look at them! Up they go!” Jognalf said as he lit some fireworks for some scrubs. They danced with joy. Plurbin shook his head, and Pekky snuck under the tent. Pekkers saw a huge plethora of candles, stacked on top of a table. Pekky grabbed a blue one and shoved it through the opening.
“Get a bigger one!” Plurbin said, unsatisfied with the lame firework. Pekky slid the candle back in and replaced it with a huge candle, shaped like a shrimp. He slid that through.
“That’s the one!” Plurbin exlaimed.
Pekky crawled out from under the tent and grabbed the firework as he came up from the ground. Plurbin took out a match and lit it.
“I can’t wait to see this go off!” Plurbin said as the rope began to burn.
“Um, isn’t it supposed to go up off the ground?” Pekky asked.
“It is up off the ground!” Plurbin stated.
“No no. I mean, straight up. Like this!” Pekky adjusted it as the rope burned further.
“Ooh. I see what you mean. Then, um…” Plurbin couldn’t figure out what they were missing. Then it hit him. “Oh! We need to plant it in the ground!”
Plurbin took the firework and tried to shove it into the ground, but the ground was solid. Pekky tried to push on it, but the ground wouldn’t budge. Finally, the rope burned completely. Pekky and Plurbin shoved the firework into the ground, but the stick connected to it broke.
“Oh crud,” they both shrieked.
The firework shot up from their hands, and flew hundreds of feet into the sky. Then, it transformed into a fiery dragon. The scrubs looked amazed at the firework. Jognalf, hearing the sound of a firework go off, looked up at the sky. Suddenly, the dragon began to come after the scrubs. All the scrubs began to scream and ran in terror. However, the firework was faster.
“Eljay! Run! A dragon!” Slimbo cried as he ran from the firework.
“Nonsense, Slimbo! There hasn’t been a dragon around these parts in a thousand year-”
Eljay was cut off by Slimbo shoving him to the ground, so they could both duck. The firework flew over their heads, and made it’s way over the lake, where it exploded, making an extraordinary show. The scrubs grew astonished of the lovely firework display.
“Am I ded?” Plurbin asked.
“Nah,” Pekky assured, “we’re alive.”
As they got up, they enjoyed the pre-mature finale of the fireworks. Then, a large man came from behind them and grabbed their ears. They cried in pain from Jognalf’s grasp.
“Ah, who do we have here?” Jognalf asked, clearly knowing the answer. “Pluralego Took and Pekedoc Brandykoa. How did I know you scrubs would go around causing trouble?”
“Plox spare us,” Plurbin plead. “I’m sorry!”
“I’m not lol,” Pekky said with a grin.
A few hours later, all of Eljay’s family members and Slimbo’s friends came to a feast, hosted by Eljay. It was a rather large feast, featuring beautiful dishes such as salted pork, nice, crispy bacon, potatoes, and others. When the scrubs had finally gotten well-fattened, Eljay silenced everyone and came onto a podium with his dwarve friends.
“5…” Exx said.
“4…” said Invictus.
“3…” said Takuma
“2…” said Ven.
“1… (mardi gras)” said Meso.
“Welcome everyone!” said Eljay. “As you know, today is our 500th podcast for TTV. It’s been a long journey.”
The crowd cheered and chattered. Mentions of the legend of Solek were brought up, leaving infighting with some scrubs on whether “Solek” is funny or not. Others made funny faces or said hi to Eljay and the dwarves.
“I hope you all are enjoying yourselves as much as I am.”
The scrubs ate more food and become rowdy as Eljay gave off this introduction. Eljay began to open the back of his pack, with nobody noticing.
“I shall not keep you long. I have called you all together for a purpose. Indeed, for three purposes! First of all, I am immensely fond of you all, and 500 podcasts is way too short to appreciate this community.”
Tremendous outburst of approval came from the scrubs. Jognalf stood, watching Eljay closely.
“I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”
The fans and scrubs didn’t expect this, and became confused. They speculated with one another on what this meant.
“Secondly, to celebrate this podcast! Or I should say, OUR podcast. Because, of course, it is also the 100th episode of the Modcast for my heir, Slimbo. He comes to being popular today.”
The more older users clapped, while young scrubs shouted “SLIMBO! SLIMBO!” The Lameville-Bagginses scowled at this.
“Thirdly and finally, I wish to make an A N N O U N C E M E N T.” Eljay spoke this last word so loudly and suddenly that everyone sat up. “I regret to announce you that - although I said 500 podcasts is too little to enjoy this community - this is the E N D. I am going. I am leaving NOW. GOOD-BYE!”
Eljay pulled something over his face, and then he vanished. There was a blinding flash of light, and the guests blinked. When they opened their eyes, Eljay was nowhere to be found. Even the dwarves were sorta confused. Everyone chattered and complained, saying “this was the worst joke ever!” and that Eljay was an awful cast member. Slimbo tried to calm everyone down, but someone threw a pie at his face.
Eljay returned to his Moddit hole, removed the mask from his face, and chuckled. He took off his party clothes, folded up and wrapped in tissue paper his silk coat and put it away. Then he put on some untidy garments and fastened around his belt. He slipped his golden mask on the mantelpiece, but suddenly removed it and put it in his pack. At that moment, Eljay turned around, and was startled by Jognalf standing in his presence.
“I suppose you think that was terribly clever,” Jognalf said.
“Come on Jognalf,” Eljay chuckled. “Didn’t you see their reactions? This prank is gonna top anything Kahi could do.”
“There are many kanohi in this world, Eljay Baggins, and NONE of them should be used lightly.” Eljay ignored Jognalf’s scolding, instead picking up his walking stick.
“It was just a bit of fun!” Eljay explained. Then he sighed. “Oh, you’re probably right, per usual. You will keep an eye out for Slimbo will you?”
“Two eyes, yes,” Jognalf mused. “As often as I can spell.”
Eljay grabbed a book with excitement and plopped it down on his desk. “I am leaving everything to him.”
“What about this kanohi of yours?” Jognalf asked. “Is it staying too?”
“Yes, yes!” Eljay said carelessly. He focused on packing his things. “It’s over there on the mantelpiece.”
Jognalf didn’t even have to look. He saw that Eljay was shoving the mask down his backpack.
“No wait,” Eljay mused. “It’s uh… Here in this bag.” Eljay took out the Kanohi and admired it. “Isn’t that odd now? After all, why not? Why shouldn’t I keep it?”
“I think you should leave the mask behind, Eljay,” Jognalf stated. “Is that so hard?”
Eljay suddenly looked at Jognalf and awkwardly smiled. “Well, heh, no…” Then, Eljay’s chin pushed forward, and his brows lowered. “...And yes. When it comes to it, I don’t feel like parting with it. It’s mine! I found it. It came to me!”
“Woah there partner,” Jognalf said cautiously. “There’s no need to get angry.”
“Well if I’m angry it’s your fault!” Eljay angrily exclaimed. “It’s mine…” Eljay’s eyes widened with a sinful lust. “My precioussssss.”
“You wot mate?” Jognalf asked. “That mask has been called that before, but not by you.”
“SHUT UP!” Eljay screamed. “THIS IS MY BUSINESS! I can do my own things!”
“I think you’ve had that mask for far too long,” Jognalf stated sternly.
“YOU WANT IT FOR YOURSELF!” Eljay procliamed.
Suddenly, a dark cloud rose around Jognalf, and Eljay quivered in fear. “ELJAY BAGGINS, DO NOT TAKE ME FOR SOME CONJURER OF CHEAP ROASTS. I AM NOT TRYING TO ROB YOU!” Then the dark clouds dissipated and Jognalf lowered his shoulders and loosened his body. “I am trying to help you.”
Eljay gave a few blinks, and then slumped against the wall. He clenched the mask tightly.
“For all our adventures we’ve been friends, Eljay,” Jognalf explained. “Trust me. You once did. Let it go.”
Eljay, filled with fear, utters a few words. “You’re right Jognalf. The mask must go to Slimbo.”
Eljay grabs his pack and makes for the door. He opens the round door and turns back to Jognalf.
“Well I’m a bit late. The road is long. Yes yes, it is time.”
As Eljay is about to exit, Jognalf hollers at him.
“The mask?” Jognalf asks.
Eljay laughs nervously, and pulls out the golden kanohi out of his bag. With a nervous twitch, he holds it up. Then he stares at the glisten of the kanohi. It was definitely created by a fine craftsman. The eyes of the mask stare back at Eljay. His lips tremble. Then, he slides his hand. Jognalf watches the mask slip down his trembling fingers. With every inch the mask falls, the fingers lightly tap the mask. Then, it finally falls out of his grasp. Eljay stares at the mask for a brief second, and then runs out the door. He takes a stop a few feet away, breathing heavily, still trembling from his addiction.
“I thought of an ending for Pins and Axles,” Eljay finally blurted out. He turns to Jognalf, who was suddenly at the small door. “Eljay, signing off. And good riddance.”
“And good riddance to you,” Jognalf said with a smile. Eljay smiled back, and shook Jognalf’s outstretched hand.
With that, Eljay ran down the road, singing a song. Jognalf simply watched the happy scrub finally take a long-awaited vacation. Jognalf took out a pipe and began to smoke “420 Brand” weed. He watched Eljay depart until he could see him no more.
Well... That's chapter 1. What do you guys think? Does it suck? Should I make a second chapter? What is your guy's overall thoughts?