The Lord of the Masks: Fellowship of the Mask (A Lord of the Rings Parody)

Disclaimer: There's a few changes used to terms in the books. For example, "hobbits" are now "scrubs." It also takes scenes from the actual films, so I'm sorry if you hate me for that, lol.

Seven Masks for the Admins under the Sky
Three for the Masters in their halls of Discord
Nine for Protectors doomed to be banned
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of BZPower where the Shadows lie
One Mask to review them all, One Mask to find them
One Mask to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

Chapter 1 - The Long-Awaited Livestream

When Mr. Eljay Baggins had announced the the TTV Podcast was doing it’s 500th Podcast with a live-stream of much magnificence, all the villagers of Scrubbington became excited.

Eljay had become very rich ever since he left with the dwarves that fateful day, seemingly disappearing forever until he eventually made a surprising return. The riches he returned with became local legend in Scrubbington. Some say the entire Moddit hole was filled with riches, while others hoped the entire hill he lived under was filled with tunnels of gold. And if that wasn’t enough for Eljay’s fame, there was his prolonged vigour to astonish at. Time wore on, but Eljay pretty much looked the same. In 2016 he looked like he did in 2014, and in 2017 he looked just the same. People called him “well preserved” but perhaps the word “unchanged” would be a better term. There were some who shook their heads and felt this was too much of a good thing; it felt unfair that someone should have so much health and limitless youth.

“It will have to be paid for!” some scrubs said. “Such luck comes at a price!”

But so far no trouble had come to Eljay. In fact, he was rather generous with his wealth. He had even taken up an heir, in which he adopted, called Slimbo Baggins. Slimbo’s parents had died when they were on a boat. Slimes aren’t supposed to be near water, yet somehow his parents fell in and completely dissolved. As such, poor Slimbo had become an orphan. Eljay felt compassionate and adopted poor Slimbo. This disappointed the Lameville-Bagginses, who wanted Eljay’s spot on the podcast for themselves. Curiously, Slimbo and Eljay shared the same date on which their podcasts where being hosted, which was September 22nd

People began to discuss what Eljay was going to do for the 500th podcast. It was the subject of the year, since 500 was such a special number. At the same time, it was the Modcast’s 100th podcast, meaning it was it was time for it to finally become significant. As such, people began to discuss Eljay’s character.

“I bet Eljay doesn’t have actual riches,” one scrub said.

“That’s kinda impossible,” Cronkwise Gamgee assured to a crowd. “How else would he afford to spend so much on production equipment?”

Now Cronkwise personally knew the Bagginses. After all, he was their gardener. Every day, in the garden, Cronk would look at the flagged posts and then fix them, thus helping the vegetables grow. The Bagginses never paid much attention to him though.

As such, the month of April rolled around, and the 500th episode of the Podcast was finally approaching. A rumor was started (probably by Cronk) that there was going to be fireworks at the celebration. Fireworks, something the villagers of Scrubbington had never seen since the very beginning of the Podcast, back when BIONICLE G1 had died.

The Day drew nearer and nearer. Slimbo was reading a book under a tree when he saw a wagon coming by. (Slimbo was known to explore the outskirts of town, something scrubs became afraid of.) He looked closely at the old, bearded fellow driving the coach. He wore a red fez, a large red bowtie, and a long grey cloak. Slimbo had only heard of such an individual a few times from Eljay, but he knew who it was, without a doubt. Springing to his feet, he dropped the book and ran to the old man.

“Jognalf!” Slimbo cried. “Jognalf is here!”

Of course, this frightened all the scrubs. Jognalf was a strange old man. He was a wizard, who’s powers were very much unknown to all the scrubs. They hid in their holes as the wagon slowly crept up the hill. Jognalf, hearing the cries of Slimbo, whipped the ponies and ordered them to go faster. But alas, Slimbo somehow outran them.

“Jognalf!” Slimbo cried. “I’m your biggest fan! I’ve heard all the stories from Eljay about you!”

“Did you now?” Jognalf said with a desperate frown.

“Yeah! He told me about how you abandoned him and the dwarves in the woods, and how they almost died several times because you decided to make a dramatic entrance instead of keeping them from danger-”

“I think that is quite enough of those stories,” Jognalf huffed.

Jognalf didn’t bother to look at Slimbo as the little scrub sat next to him in the wagon. Slimbo decided to ramble about something else, like why the heck he has hair when he’s a slime. Jognalf looked back a few times to make sure the fireworks weren’t being stolen. Then, after Slimbo rambled, he came down to a sigh.

“Maybe I should have put a bookmark in the page I was on. I had forgotten which page I was on.”

“Maybe you should read books instead of bothering me,” Jognalf suggested. “You’ll learn much more about adventures than Eljay will ever tell you.”

“Aw but those are fiction,” Slimbo complained.

“And how do you know Eljay isn’t lying to you?” Jognalf asked.

“Well,” Slimbo replied, “I have seen his mask.”

Jognalf stopped the horses. Then, looking at the scrub, he furrowed his eyebrows. “You’ve seen the mask?”

“That’s what I just said mang.”

“I was afraid this would happen,” Jognalf said to himself.

Jognalf’s horses trotted along the small brick road that led to Scrubbington. In the distance, tents could be seen. Jognalf checked on his fireworks again, and sighed.

“Hey Jognalf?” Slimbo asked.

“Yes?”

“Could I be let off here? I forgot my book back there. I dunno what I was thinking…”

“You weren’t doing that at all,” Jognalf mused with a grin. One of Jognalf’s many wizard-powers was the ability to roast people. It was quite dangerous.

Slime jumped off the wagon, while Jognalf rode on, whipping the horses to go faster. The Day was soon arriving.

~~

Finally, the day of the Podcast had come. All of Eljay’s family members had come, while Slimbo’s few friends had also joined. Jognalf unloaded the fireworks and hid them in a tent. Then, he sealed it tight, to make sure no scrubs would enter. Many villagers and scrubs ate and drank at the party, discussing bogus theories about BIONICLE.

Cronk was definitely enjoying himself, giving his outrageous theory of whether G2 was killed due to a BIONICLE movie. Of course, Eljay came over and slapped him silly. Then Cronk was scolded further by the crowd around him.

Slimbo, however, was lonely. He knew something didn’t feel right with the party. While Cronk was being beat up, all Slimbo could focus on was Eljay. He looked different. He had his hand over his backpack the whole time. It was oddly suspicious. Slimbo got up from the oaken bench and decided to talk to Eljay.

Eljay was surrounded by dwarves. They were his travel buddies from the journey he took long ago. Slimbo inspected them with interest.

“Ah, my boy Slimbo!” Eljay exclaimed. “These are my friends of old, in whom we got the gold from. Meet Exx, Invi, Takuma, Ven, and Meso. They’re a jolly crowd, I tell you!”

“How’s life and such?” the thin but bearded dwarve Meso asked Slimbo.

“Uh, fine I guess,” Slimbo stated.

Eljay slapped Slimbo on the back, making Slimbo cough up his drink. “That’s no way to talk to a dwarve, Slimbo! Talk with pride!”

“Well, I did happen to finish reading that book today,” Slimbo said as he conjured up achievable things. “Oh, and I got a Nintendo Switch.”

The dwarve Ven looked at Slimbo with glee.

“Certainly you must be bootlegging with us!” Ven exclaimed.

“Heh. Well actually, I did manage to get it.”

Slimbo pulled it out of his backpack. The dwarves had never seen such a beautiful thing. But Eljay then took Slimbo by the collar and dragged him behind the dwarves. The Switch fell on the ground, fortunately not a scratch coming to its surface.

“Look Slimbo,” Eljay said as he pointed to an odd couple of scrubs. “It’s the Lameville-Bagginses. I’d rather they don’t see us.”

The Lameville-Bagginses walk past the dwarves, looking sharply for the Bagginses, but they never find them. When they are twenty feet away, Eljay breathes a sigh of relief.

“I’m not in the mood to deal with those folks right now,” Eljay uttered.

Meanwhile, two strange scrubs walk near a red tent, seeing if they could find Jognalf’s mysterious fireworks. The first one, Pekky, huddles on the ground to search for an opening. He eventually finds one. Then, Plurbin, the second scrub, looks to see what Jognalf is doing.

“Look at them! Up they go!” Jognalf said as he lit some fireworks for some scrubs. They danced with joy. Plurbin shook his head, and Pekky snuck under the tent. Pekkers saw a huge plethora of candles, stacked on top of a table. Pekky grabbed a blue one and shoved it through the opening.

“Get a bigger one!” Plurbin said, unsatisfied with the lame firework. Pekky slid the candle back in and replaced it with a huge candle, shaped like a shrimp. He slid that through.

“That’s the one!” Plurbin exlaimed.

Pekky crawled out from under the tent and grabbed the firework as he came up from the ground. Plurbin took out a match and lit it.

“I can’t wait to see this go off!” Plurbin said as the rope began to burn.

“Um, isn’t it supposed to go up off the ground?” Pekky asked.

“It is up off the ground!” Plurbin stated.

“No no. I mean, straight up. Like this!” Pekky adjusted it as the rope burned further.

“Ooh. I see what you mean. Then, um…” Plurbin couldn’t figure out what they were missing. Then it hit him. “Oh! We need to plant it in the ground!”

Plurbin took the firework and tried to shove it into the ground, but the ground was solid. Pekky tried to push on it, but the ground wouldn’t budge. Finally, the rope burned completely. Pekky and Plurbin shoved the firework into the ground, but the stick connected to it broke.

“Oh crud,” they both shrieked.

The firework shot up from their hands, and flew hundreds of feet into the sky. Then, it transformed into a fiery dragon. The scrubs looked amazed at the firework. Jognalf, hearing the sound of a firework go off, looked up at the sky. Suddenly, the dragon began to come after the scrubs. All the scrubs began to scream and ran in terror. However, the firework was faster.

“Eljay! Run! A dragon!” Slimbo cried as he ran from the firework.

“Nonsense, Slimbo! There hasn’t been a dragon around these parts in a thousand year-”

Eljay was cut off by Slimbo shoving him to the ground, so they could both duck. The firework flew over their heads, and made it’s way over the lake, where it exploded, making an extraordinary show. The scrubs grew astonished of the lovely firework display.

“Am I ded?” Plurbin asked.

“Nah,” Pekky assured, “we’re alive.”

As they got up, they enjoyed the pre-mature finale of the fireworks. Then, a large man came from behind them and grabbed their ears. They cried in pain from Jognalf’s grasp.

“Ah, who do we have here?” Jognalf asked, clearly knowing the answer. “Pluralego Took and Pekedoc Brandykoa. How did I know you scrubs would go around causing trouble?”

“Plox spare us,” Plurbin plead. “I’m sorry!”

“I’m not lol,” Pekky said with a grin.

~~

A few hours later, all of Eljay’s family members and Slimbo’s friends came to a feast, hosted by Eljay. It was a rather large feast, featuring beautiful dishes such as salted pork, nice, crispy bacon, potatoes, and others. When the scrubs had finally gotten well-fattened, Eljay silenced everyone and came onto a podium with his dwarve friends.

“5…” Exx said.

“4…” said Invictus.

“3…” said Takuma

“2…” said Ven.

“1… (mardi gras)” said Meso.

“Welcome everyone!” said Eljay. “As you know, today is our 500th podcast for TTV. It’s been a long journey.”

The crowd cheered and chattered. Mentions of the legend of Solek were brought up, leaving infighting with some scrubs on whether “Solek” is funny or not. Others made funny faces or said hi to Eljay and the dwarves.

“I hope you all are enjoying yourselves as much as I am.”

The scrubs ate more food and become rowdy as Eljay gave off this introduction. Eljay began to open the back of his pack, with nobody noticing.

“I shall not keep you long. I have called you all together for a purpose. Indeed, for three purposes! First of all, I am immensely fond of you all, and 500 podcasts is way too short to appreciate this community.”

Tremendous outburst of approval came from the scrubs. Jognalf stood, watching Eljay closely.

“I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”

The fans and scrubs didn’t expect this, and became confused. They speculated with one another on what this meant.

“Secondly, to celebrate this podcast! Or I should say, OUR podcast. Because, of course, it is also the 100th episode of the Modcast for my heir, Slimbo. He comes to being popular today.”

The more older users clapped, while young scrubs shouted “SLIMBO! SLIMBO!” The Lameville-Bagginses scowled at this.

“Thirdly and finally, I wish to make an A N N O U N C E M E N T.” Eljay spoke this last word so loudly and suddenly that everyone sat up. “I regret to announce you that - although I said 500 podcasts is too little to enjoy this community - this is the E N D. I am going. I am leaving NOW. GOOD-BYE!”

Eljay pulled something over his face, and then he vanished. There was a blinding flash of light, and the guests blinked. When they opened their eyes, Eljay was nowhere to be found. Even the dwarves were sorta confused. Everyone chattered and complained, saying “this was the worst joke ever!” and that Eljay was an awful cast member. Slimbo tried to calm everyone down, but someone threw a pie at his face.

Eljay returned to his Moddit hole, removed the mask from his face, and chuckled. He took off his party clothes, folded up and wrapped in tissue paper his silk coat and put it away. Then he put on some untidy garments and fastened around his belt. He slipped his golden mask on the mantelpiece, but suddenly removed it and put it in his pack. At that moment, Eljay turned around, and was startled by Jognalf standing in his presence.

“I suppose you think that was terribly clever,” Jognalf said.

“Come on Jognalf,” Eljay chuckled. “Didn’t you see their reactions? This prank is gonna top anything Kahi could do.”

“There are many kanohi in this world, Eljay Baggins, and NONE of them should be used lightly.” Eljay ignored Jognalf’s scolding, instead picking up his walking stick.

“It was just a bit of fun!” Eljay explained. Then he sighed. “Oh, you’re probably right, per usual. You will keep an eye out for Slimbo will you?”

“Two eyes, yes,” Jognalf mused. “As often as I can spell.”

Eljay grabbed a book with excitement and plopped it down on his desk. “I am leaving everything to him.”

“What about this kanohi of yours?” Jognalf asked. “Is it staying too?”

“Yes, yes!” Eljay said carelessly. He focused on packing his things. “It’s over there on the mantelpiece.”

Jognalf didn’t even have to look. He saw that Eljay was shoving the mask down his backpack.

“No wait,” Eljay mused. “It’s uh… Here in this bag.” Eljay took out the Kanohi and admired it. “Isn’t that odd now? After all, why not? Why shouldn’t I keep it?”

“I think you should leave the mask behind, Eljay,” Jognalf stated. “Is that so hard?”

Eljay suddenly looked at Jognalf and awkwardly smiled. “Well, heh, no…” Then, Eljay’s chin pushed forward, and his brows lowered. “...And yes. When it comes to it, I don’t feel like parting with it. It’s mine! I found it. It came to me!”

“Woah there partner,” Jognalf said cautiously. “There’s no need to get angry.”

“Well if I’m angry it’s your fault!” Eljay angrily exclaimed. “It’s mine…” Eljay’s eyes widened with a sinful lust. “My precioussssss.”

“You wot mate?” Jognalf asked. “That mask has been called that before, but not by you.”

“SHUT UP!” Eljay screamed. “THIS IS MY BUSINESS! I can do my own things!”

“I think you’ve had that mask for far too long,” Jognalf stated sternly.

“YOU WANT IT FOR YOURSELF!” Eljay procliamed.

Suddenly, a dark cloud rose around Jognalf, and Eljay quivered in fear. “ELJAY BAGGINS, DO NOT TAKE ME FOR SOME CONJURER OF CHEAP ROASTS. I AM NOT TRYING TO ROB YOU!” Then the dark clouds dissipated and Jognalf lowered his shoulders and loosened his body. “I am trying to help you.”

Eljay gave a few blinks, and then slumped against the wall. He clenched the mask tightly.

“For all our adventures we’ve been friends, Eljay,” Jognalf explained. “Trust me. You once did. Let it go.”

Eljay, filled with fear, utters a few words. “You’re right Jognalf. The mask must go to Slimbo.”

Eljay grabs his pack and makes for the door. He opens the round door and turns back to Jognalf.

“Well I’m a bit late. The road is long. Yes yes, it is time.”

As Eljay is about to exit, Jognalf hollers at him.

“The mask?” Jognalf asks.

Eljay laughs nervously, and pulls out the golden kanohi out of his bag. With a nervous twitch, he holds it up. Then he stares at the glisten of the kanohi. It was definitely created by a fine craftsman. The eyes of the mask stare back at Eljay. His lips tremble. Then, he slides his hand. Jognalf watches the mask slip down his trembling fingers. With every inch the mask falls, the fingers lightly tap the mask. Then, it finally falls out of his grasp. Eljay stares at the mask for a brief second, and then runs out the door. He takes a stop a few feet away, breathing heavily, still trembling from his addiction.

“I thought of an ending for Pins and Axles,” Eljay finally blurted out. He turns to Jognalf, who was suddenly at the small door. “Eljay, signing off. And good riddance.”

“And good riddance to you,” Jognalf said with a smile. Eljay smiled back, and shook Jognalf’s outstretched hand.

“Goodbye Jognalf.”

With that, Eljay ran down the road, singing a song. Jognalf simply watched the happy scrub finally take a long-awaited vacation. Jognalf took out a pipe and began to smoke “420 Brand” weed. He watched Eljay depart until he could see him no more.

FEATURED:

@Political_Slime
Eljay
@Chronicler
@John_Smith
Exx_Trooper
Invictus
Takuma
Venom
Mesonak
@PekekoaOfJungle
@Plural

Well... That's chapter 1. What do you guys think? Does it suck? Should I make a second chapter? What is your guy's overall thoughts?

22 Likes

I thought this was going to be a Lord of the Flies parody at first. Either way, this was great! Very nice story remixing and references. Gotta see who and what all the other members of this mythos could be represented by. I'd like to see more for sure! :stuck_out_tongue:

1 Like

cronk

this is fantastic in every way

i love the little details, like me getting a switch, or the countdown

i would love to see this continue

6 Likes

Uhh!!:clap::clap::clap:that was magnificent!!!

What a lovely story, i will read it to my kids every night

2 Likes

What the heck. Well, at least it was entertaining.:laughing:

I certainly enjoyed it.

This was incredibly enjoyable.

Please do chapter 2.

I love this too much. I demand more

Ho boi.

I love this story, good job @Chronicler , and who going be Golum?

1 Like

You guys will see.

1 Like

Chapter 2 - Inheritance of the Mask

Slimbo stood up on his chair with his palms raised and facing the crowd. Angry, they grabbed deserts and began to throw them at Slime. He manages to dodge a cupcake.

“Now now everyone,” Slimbo said. “I’m sure we can all be civil and appreciate Eljay’s little joke.”

Then, a pie came straight for his face. Slimbo fell off his chair, stumbling into the grass. Cronkwise ran through the shelling of sweets and grabbed a tray. He stood in front of Slimbo, trying to clean his face.

“I think it’s high time you leave, Master Slimbo,” Cronk insisted.

Slimbo shook his head and crawled under the tables and through the tents. Then, he jumped over a fence and snuck through some bushes. Upon the gravel road he walked until he managed to get to the familiar circular door. Curiously, some light was coming through the house. The orange light created a silhouette of Jognalf, who was smoking.

Slimbo creaked open the door, when it hit something. Slimbo bent down to grab whatever was in the way of the door, but it was sorta heavy. He managed to lift it up regardless, but was shocked to see what the curious door-stopper was: it was the kanohi Eljay had kept.

“He’s gone isn’t he?” Slimbo asked.

Jognalf nodded. “Yes, he left about half an hour ago.” The old wizard took a puff of his smoke and then created a the shape of a mask out of it.

“He left his mask,” Slimbo said, looking at the mask with curiosity.

“Yes, and hardly willingly,” Jognalf assessed. “But he left you this Moddit Hole. It’s all yours now.”

Slime put the mask on a table and placed a cloth over it. His body shivered just looking at the mask. Jognalf’s baggy eyes peered at this curious act, and then they slivered back to looking at the fireplace and puffed more smoke.

“Keep that mask out of site,” Jognalf warned.

“Where are you going?” Slimbo asked.

“There are troubling things that I have to see to,” Jognalf said in a hurry. He had to navigate around the lights, for he was tall. “The mask has produced tons of questions to me that need answering.”

“But you’ve only just arrived!” Slimbo stated. He tried to grab at Jogn’s cloak. “You can’t just leave me with this angry community to moderate myself.”

“I think you can handle it,” Jognalf said quietly. He had no concern over the controversy of Eljay’s prank. “Oh, and one more thing: Keep it secret, keep it safe.”

He glanced back at the mask, still covered in cloth. Then, he left the Moddit Hole, not giving Slimbo a single goodbye. Slimbo repeated the words Jognalf had told him in head. “Keep it secret, keep it safe…”

The day after the party, some Masters volunteered to clean up the mess at the party. After a long day of work (supervised by Cronk), the “Fun ‘n Games” section was completely cleaned. Slimbo was busy filing the will of Eljay. He put a sign on his door, reading “No visitors.” Slimbo didn’t want the extra company.

But no sooner than later, a scrub stood at his door and knocked. Slimbo opened it up, and the scrub handed him a resume.

“What is this for?” Slimbo asked.

“It’s my TTV Cast Application,” the scrub said.

“Sorry, that’s my part of the will,” Slimbo said rather apologetically. “Plus TTV doesn’t do casting that way. You have to have an interview.”

“Can I sign up for it then?” the scrub asked.

“Uh, sure I guess,” Slimbo said. He had no idea what he had just said.

The scrub said he’d be back tomorrow, and Slimbo nodded and then shut the door. His peace and quiet was not something that would last long, however. The next day, five scrubs had come to the door of the Moddit hole. Slime tried to refuse them, but when he OG scrub was there, he realized he had to take the interviews. It didn’t take long for there to be a long line outside of the house. Slimbo called up Cronk, Pekky and Plurbin to assist him with the interviews.

The trouble only worsened, however. Some scrubs broke down the gate and searched the property frantically to look for Eljay’s fortune. Cronk had to drive each and every scrub away with his shears. Still, some snuck by him, and they searched everywhere. None of the scrubs ever did find the treasure they so desperately sought.

After the last scrub had been interviewed, Slimbo took every resume in a wheelbarrow and dumped them in his yard. Then, he lit a match and placed it in the stockpile. Slimbo, Cronk, Pekky, and Plurbin watched the papers burn with glee. Scrubs in the area became disappointed that all their efforts were for nothing. Thus, Slimbo became very unpopular within the groups of scrubs.

~~

Meanwhile, in the land of BZpower, a strange, skinny, pathetic creature crawled through some tight rocks. He was gasping for air, tired and hungry. Then, a clawed hand picked him up by the hand.

“You must be Chillum,” the clawed creature said.

Chillum squirmed, but he couldn’t get the hand off his head. The clawed creature, known as a goblin, only laughed at Chillum’s pathetic attempt to escape.

“Our lord has been looking for the last bearer of the mask,” the troll stated. “You must know who is the current bearer.”

They put a bag over Chillum, tied it up, and put it on top of a horse. Along the rocks they rode their steeds, jumping over lava pits. It was a desolate place, bursting with the greatest scum of the underworld one could ever imagine. Blackmail was stored in the houses instead of books, spam covered the ground, and there was no welcoming or greetings. Just petty insults, because all creatures in the land of BZpower had become creatures of hate. Perhaps one time it was a truly wonderful place, but it was a shadow of itself.

The goblin smacked the bag with Chillum on a table. Chillum was clearly sick and weary from his uncomfortable trip. Then, the goblins moved Chillum to some torture device.

“No!” Squirmed Chillum as he tried to get away from the device. Unfortunately for him, the goblins were too strong.

They strapped him up, and lo and behold, the machine began to work. Pain shot through Chillum’s thin body, and he screamed the only two words that came to his head.

“BAGGINS. SHIRE!”

This was heard all across the land of BZpower, to every goblin and other creature. Including despicable creatures known as Mask Wraiths. Who they once were is long forgotten, but still recorded. They galloped out of their dark walls and made way through the rocky slopes of BZpower to look for the bearer of the ring.

~~

Jognalf had finally ridden to a field close to BZpower, and saw a dark cloud forming over the land. He squinted as his beard floated through the wind. Then, with widened eyes, he turned his horse around and went straight to Highly Suspect Hideout, where the elves lived.

In a deep building, Jognalf found a library filled with banned memes and old board injokes that were no longer considered funny. He looked through the shelves carefully.

@Yran… Solek… No none of these are right,” Jognalf mused to himself. Finally, he came across a topic about Eljay’s mask.

Jognalf flipped the book open and studied. He lit his pipe as he read, and made sure to swat the flies in the room. The pages showed a strange language, filled with 2014 slang. He pushed some of those aside. But the real treasure was a page which had a diagram of the mask. It was a very clean page, with little dust at the edges. He deciphered the words and discovered this poem:

Jognalf shut the book immediately, shoved it back onto the shelf, and ran outside to his horse, anxious to get back to the mask. Slimbo is in trouble, he thought to himself. He made his way directly to Scrubbington, knowing now all too well about the mask.

~~

Slimbo was smoking his weed when he heard a bump in his living room. He put down his tabloids and got up to see what was going on. However, the livingroom was seemingly empty. All that was there was the pale moonlight shining upon the wooden floor and his furniture. When he turned to leave, however, a cold hand made it to his shoulder and made Slimbo jump. Slimbo turned around to see Jognalf’s face way too close to his.

“Is it secret? Is it safe?” Jognalf asked as his nostrils created fog on the camera lense far too close to his face.

Slimbo ran to his chest and pulled out the mask. Jognalf jumped at the sound of a mouse. Slimbo presented the mask to Jognalf in the cloth, and Jognalf swiped it from the scrub’s hands and plopped it into the fireplace.

“Sure just burn my mask,” Slimbo said, annoyed. “It’s not like I wanted it anyways.”

The fire ate away the cloth, which then revealed the lone mask, smiling at Jognalf and Slimbo. Jognalf was sweatier than he had ever been, but Slime was just annoyed. When the mask had been in the fire for a whole minute, Jognalf took some tongs and lifted the mask out of the fire.

“Take it, it’s quite cool,” Jognalf said.

“Woah there Jognalf,” Slimbo commanded. “You literally pulled that out of a fire, and it is made of metal. You didn’t even check to see if it was cool. I don’t feel like burning my hands today.”

“Slimbo you are literally made of slime,” Jognalf said, annoyed. “You can handle this heat you scrub.”

He plopped the mask into Slimbo’s hands, without Slimbo being burnt. The mask glistened stronger than ever under the light of the fire. It definitely felt heavier than before, and bigger.

“Can you see anything?” Jognalf asked impatiently.

“Nothing,” Slimbo said after a quick inspection. Jognalf gave a sigh of relief to this news. That is, until Slimbo noticed a small, fiery glow coming from the mask. “Wait a second…”

Jognalf scrambled over to Slimbo’s shoulder to read the mask. Across the face of the mask was ancient sqaure runes. Slimbo squinted but couldn’t read the language.

“I can’t read this,” Slimbo said.

“There are very few who can,” Jognalf stated.

“What does it say?” Slimbo asked.

“These are purely Okotan runes, the language of the land of BZpower. In the common tongue, the mask reads…”

Jognalf stopped there. Slimbo was quivering in fear of the mask. It shimmered stronger than ever.

“...One Mask to review them all, One Mask to find them. One Mask to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.”

Slimbo dropped the mask onto the floor and took a few steps back. His eyes couldn’t get off the mask. Even as he tried to turn his head, his eyes would still look at the mask.

“This is the One Mask, Slimbo. Forged by the dark lord Makuta in the fires of Mt. Cyberhand. Taken by Tahu from the helm of Makuta himself.”

Slimbo’s eyes then jerked toward Jognalf’s face, yet his eyes still twitched. “Eljay found it… In Chillum’s cave…”

“Yes,” Jognalf said in agreement, “and it stayed quiet in Eljay’s grasp for 3 years. It kept prolonging his life, but slowly corrupting him. The mask is yours now, Slimbo.”

“Wait a minute,” Slimbo commanded. “Makuta is dead. How the heck does he pose a threat to us now?”

“Makuta watches over us,” Jognalf explained. “His spirit stays, watching us. Plus, he’s taken the sacred land of BZpower and corrupted it to do his bidding, building a powerful army. It is a shadow of it’s former self, and that’s the way Makuta likes it.”

Then, Jognalf began to stutter and shake, looking intensely into Slimbo’s eyes as a clipping noise outside can be heard. “If we do not destroy that mask, Makuta will search for it and kill everyone in his way so he can eventually conquer all of the LEGO Community. Slimbo, he must never find it.”

Slimbo stood up from the floor, took the mask, and walked into his living room. “Alright. We never speak of this mask ever again. No one knows it’s here, do they?” The clipping continues. This causes Slime’s left eye to twitch a bit.

“There is one other who knew that Eljay had the ring,” Jognalf stated with a frown. “I looked for the creature, Chillum, but I never found him. I’m afraid the goblins may have gotten to him already.”

Slimbo’s stomach suddenly felt a rock, dangling from a thread, being cut and dropping down hard. He gulped. “Then… That would them here.”

~~

Outside of the city, a dark figure in a hood came up to a scrub holding a latern. “Who goes there?” the scrub asked.

The creature slices off the head of the scrub. “My blood bleeds red and blue,” the Mask Wraith said.

~~

“Take it Jognalf!” Slime insisted, shoving the mask to Jognalf’s face. Jognalf backed away. “You must take it! I’m giving it to you!”

“DON’T!” Jognalf cried, eyes wide and lips trembling. “...Tempt me, Slimbo. I dare not take it.”

Slimbo takes the mask back and hides it behind himself. Jognalf’s face drops and becomes loose again, with a relieving sigh coming after it.

“You have to understand, Slimbo. If I were to use this mask, it would be for the desire to do good. But through me, it would bear a power too great and terrible to imagine.”

Slimbo’s feet just shook. His throat became heavy, and his head light. It was like he wanted to throw up. The clipping sound only intensified, and sounded like it was closer than ever.

“But it cannot stay in Scrubbington!” Slimbo complained.

“No, no it can’t,” Jognalf admitted. “That is why you must leave. Now.”

Slimbo ran for his cabinets and suitcases, stuffing as much of his personal possessions as he could in them. He packed several pairs of clothes, his Nintendo Switch, the mask, and some BBQ pizza for food along the way.

“You must leave Scrubbington,” Jognalf instructed, “and head for the inn of the Kickin’ Kikanalo, across the river. I’ll wait for you at Beef Bombadil’s house.”

“The mask will be safe there?” asked Slimbo.

“I don’t know, Slimbo, but it’s worth a shot. To be honest, I don’t have any answers. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful with words. Trust me, Slimbo. You’ll know what to do.”

The clipping intensified, but Slimbo barely noticed. “I can cut across the road through the forest. There I can have a safe path.”

Jognalf smiled at this plan. He patted Slimbo on the back, until he heard some wood drop. Jognalf’s head twisted sharply at the source of the obstruction of peace. He walked toward the window, stuck his hands into the bushes, and pulled out a scrub and laid him on the floor.

“DANGIT CRONK, HAVE YOU BEEN EAVESDROPPING?” Jognalf cried.

Cronk shivered and began to speak fast. “No sir I was just clipping the bushes and then I overheard something about magic masks and Makuta and BZpower and Chillum and then decided to return to cutting the bushes until I accidentally bumped into a log and then gave myself away sorry.”

“A little late for trimming the hedges, don’t you think?” Jognalf questioned quite suspiciously.

“Yessir but I was just doing my job Slimbo and Eljay assigned me to do and I was tired after the party and needed to relax so I tended the garden and then I heard all this stuff about death and Tahu and felt like it was really good discussion but I couldn’t chime in-”

“YOU WOT M8?” Jognalf yelled.

“Please!” Cronk cried. “Don’t hurt me, and don’t turn me into anything unnatural.”

“No…” Jognalf mused. “I have thought of a better use for you.”

Slimbo smiled at this, while Cronk became quite confused. Slimbo threw a pack onto Cronk’s stomach. “You should start packing then, Cronk.”

Needless to say, Cronkwise Gamgee didn’t like where this was going one bit.

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This was absolutely hilarious. There needs to be a continuation!

Must. Continue.

These are hilarious!

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Cronk, Modularity must turn this into an audiodrama. It's to good not to do that :stuck_out_tongue:

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Make a full parody of the lord of the rings pls

More will be coming, trust me.

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Chapter 3 - The Long-Awaited Departure

Slimbo took his walking stick the next morning and departed into the fields of Scrubbington, where he would then leave the TTV Message Boards. Cronk followed along, very wary of the journey. Cronk was carrying all the food along with him while Slimbo had the mask attached to a necklace, around his neck. When not being worn, the mask shrunk to a significantly smaller size. Thus, it was easier for Slimbo to bear the mask.

“This is getting heavy,” Cronk stated. “Should we switch who takes the pack every now and then?”

“No can do,” Slimbo said. “You need the exercise.”

Cronk sighed, straightened the bag up again, and kept pushing forward. Then the two scrubs came across a sign, warning them that they were leaving the Message Boards.

“This journey requires we leave our home, unfortunately,” Slimbo said. Cronk paused, as well as Slimbo. They thought for a couple of moments, until Slimbo continued past the sign and into a field with tons of crops.

“This is it,” Cronk said with hesitation. “If I take one more step, it’ll be the farthest from home I’ve ever been.”

Slimbo walks up to Cronk and puts his hand on his shoulder. “Come on Cronk.”

Cronk takes a step forward, and Slimbo smiles.

“What a second,” Cronk asked. “Is this a corn field?”

“Corn?” Slimbo asked with excitement. “What kinda corn? There’s at least 5 different types of corn. I bet this is sweet corn, since that’s the most edible of all the corn. Of course, it could always be black corn or even a type of flint corn. Either way, I could talk for hours about this-”

“Please don’t,” Cronk replied.

Suddenly, the two scrubs heard some screaming. Suddenly, two scrubs run into Slimbo and Cronk, knocking them over. Vegetables drop onto the ground as the impact is made.

“Oh hey, it’s Slimbo Baggins!” Plurbin says.

“Get off of us!” Cronk says. He shoves Pekky off of him, and gets Slimbo back up. “What’s this?”

Cronk picks up some carrots, and gives Plurbin a nasty look. “You’ve been into Farmer Square’s crop!”

Suddenly, they hear dogs rustling through the pushes, and Plurbin and Pekky push Cronk aside to run. The dogs lunge after Slimbo, but Slimbo escapes. Then, both the scrubs get on their feet and start running. Pekky carries some cabbages in his hands, while Plurbin starts to eat a carrot as he runs.

“Why is he so mad?” Plurbin asks through his panting, “all we did was take some carrots, some cabbages, lift some potatoes last week, and then mushrooms the week before. He’s clearly overreacting!”

Slimbo shoves Plurbin to the side and makes it out of the corn field first. His tracks stop short, however, when he sees a cliff. Cronk skids on the dirt once he escapes the corn field, seeing the cliff. But Plurbin and Pekky don’t stop. They bump into Cronk and Slimbo, sending all of them tumbling down the slope. They land hard on the dirt.

Cronk spits some grass out of his mouth, while Plurbin continues to eat his carrot. “Trust a Brandykoa and a Took to get us into trouble,” Cronk spat.

“Nah, that was just a detour, a shortcut,” Pekky states happily.

“A shortcut to what?” Cronk asks angrily.

“Mushrooms!” Plurbin says. He jumps up and starts munching on some nearby mushrooms. The mushrooms were red and had white spots. Pekky joins Plurbin as they munch on the shrooms. Slimbo looks around, when he hears a screeching sound.

“REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED.... WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE… BLUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEE…” the voice made.

“I think we should get off the road!” Slimbo said. He pulls Cronk with him under a log he found, while Plurbin and Pekky hurry with them. “Quick!”

The four scrubs sit in silence for several minutes, hearing nothing. Plurbin munches on the shrooms he acquired earlier. Pekky eats a carrot. But Cronk and Slimbo stay silent, trying to listen for anything they can hear. The silence was cold and still, so still you could hear their hearts beating. The wind blew down the road, brushing some leaves off the ground. Until finally, they heard a deathly noise.

Clip… Clop… Clip… Clop…

“My blood bleeds red and blue…”

Slimbo has some sweat roll down his neck. Cronk rolled up into a ball in fear. The hooded figure on the horse, a Maskwraith, looked around the road, trodding carefully. He sees nothing. Then, with his boots making a “THUD” sound, he slowly slithers his way toward the log. Slimbo clenches the tiny mask tightly. Then, the Maskwraith’s arms reach for the log, making a “clank” sound when putting pressure on them. It looks around.

Suddenly, Slimbo feels an urge to put on the mask. It looks at him deeply. The world begins to darken when the mask grew larger. Slimbo’s hands shiver, but ultimately, he lets go of the mask and it returns to it’s mini form.

The Maskwraith sniffs a little, until he ultimately gives up. “Nothing… My blood must search for something else then…” He gets back up on his horse, and leaves. Slimbo takes a gasp, while Cronk takes a sigh of relief. Pekky is still eating a carrot.

“You guys are the loudest eaters ever,” Cronk mentions. “You could have gotten us killed.”

“Hey, but we didn’t die!” Pekky notes. “So there’s no need to complain!”

Suddenly, they hear a horse neigh, and it turns back around. One of them says “well crud!” and then Plurbin throws his bag of mushrooms. The Maskwraith chases after it, while the four scrubs run the opposite direction.

They cut through very dark, scary woods. Some spiders come onto Cronk’s shoulders, and he wipes them off. He’s deathly afraid of spiders, but his fear of the wraith was greater. The four jump over rocks and logs, avoid thorny plants, and throw some of the stolen vegetables they had behind them. The hearts of the four pump faster than they ever had pumped in their entire lives.

After a couple minutes of running, they come to some light up ahead in the woods. They all scramble to reach it. Once out of the woods, they all take a rest, breathing heavily.

“What was that thing?” Pekky asks.

Slimbo looks down at the mask again. He grows fearful of it, yet the darkness behind it swirls again, and the eyes light with a seductive fire. Slimbo covers it back up with his hand.

“Well are you going to answer or not?” Pekky asks.

“I’m not sure, OK?” Slimbo cries. “Jognalf warned me of dangers, but even he didn’t know of everything. All I know is, what it was saying sounds vaguely familiar.”

"Well that ain't very helpful," Cronk states with a frown. "Now we're lost in the woods, we have no place to go... Where are we supposed to go from here, eh?"

"I remember we had to go to the house of a man," Slimbo says. "Beef Bombadil. But I don't know where he lives. All I know is that he was down the road."

"Then we'd better get back on it," Pekky says.

"But the scary dude," Plurbin warns, "he's still out there."

"Then we're at a standstill," Cronk states. "Unless we learn how to shake the guy off, we're in a bad spot."

"I know," Slimbo says, grasping the mask tightly, "But we'll find a way."

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I wonder who that red, white, and blue rider could be :stuck_out_tongue:

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