So, this is basically an ongoing comedy Ghidora from BZP and I are doing. This was created back when the BIONICLE 2015 leaks were first coming out, so an important note is that the Mask of Hype is NOT the same things as the Mask of Creation. Actually, this is the Mask of Hype.
Hope you guys enjoy!
Alright, let’s go!
Izzun drove back down the road, depressed. “Now where will I stick nachos to the ceiling? Sigghhh…” He suddenly stopped in the middle of the intersection. “Hmm… well, the last time I did that, I found out he DOSEN’T like unicorn piñatas, and then he threw me out the window. But if I could only have a dino one instead… hehehe…”. And with that, Izzun drove on out of the intersection, mumbling something about auto accidents in intersections for no reason, heading towards an old familiar house.
Jakura wiped his hands on his filthy apron, hung it on the wall, and clocked out for the day. Tomorrow was Sunday, his day off, and he was ready to crash and relax. As he got on the bus (cart pulled by a pair of ussal) and made his way home, he thought of Izzun’s request. Maybe I should’ve let him stay with me, Jakura thought. The way that guy lives, he may not be alive much longer. He shrugged it off and sat back, trying to rest a little. His house was a pretty good distance from the station.
When he reached his house, Jakura noticed that the lights were on. That’s strange…
Reaching the door, he put his ear up to it and listened in. Was that the television? Opening the door, he found a familiar being lounging on his couch.
“What… the… RAHI?!”
“What? What rahi!?” Izzun exclaimed, jumping up and launching all the cheese dip onto Jakura. Jakura’s expression remained the same, annoyed and angry. Izzun stopped, realized there really was no Rahi, and turned to ask why Jakura did that, when he saw his current condition. “Oops, let me get that for you.” he said, and as he wiped off Jakura’s face, he left a white icy trail behind him. It didn’t last long, though, as Jakura’s fiery rage melted it away.
The first thought Jakura had was Incinerate. He was angry - angrier than the time Izzun had glued nachos to the ceiling. Angrier than the time he had sabotaged his first ussal by removing the legs as a prank. Even angrier than the time he had set him up on a blind date - with a Skakdi! The nachos liquidated and bubbled down his armor.
“Oh Mata Nui, I’m going to strangle you, Izzun. What in the Pit are you doing here? I told you no!!”
Izzun started to worry, something he rarely ever did. He had stared into the eyes of monsters, taken down titans bigger than skyscrapers, froze a fragmented planet core- but Jakura was something different. Jakura had done many things too, but never was he this angry.
“Well,” Izzun quickly thought, “I can’t exacty explain I simply tied the ussal’s legs together-” Jakura’s heat was making Izzun uncomfortable. “Um, I brought you a new TV! The last one you had was from that dumpster, anyway…”
Jakura sighed and rubbed his mask. “If that’s the TV from the police station, you might want to return it. Look, sorry for getting so angry. But, really dude - if you are going to constantly need help, than you should start treating people better.” He sat down on the recliner and propped his feet up. “Izz… what am I going to do with you…”
“Did… you…just… call me… well, anyways, to answer your question, I’m not sure what you should do with me… oh wait, I got it! You can take me out for dinner!”
Jakura sighed. Izzun didn’t look good - he actually looked rather beaten. After a quick conversation, the fact was revealed that Izzun went to get a dino piñata, and, unfortunately, the store clerk gave him a dino piranha, which involved several backup squads, and after a brief (2 hour) “convincing” they did, they finally apprehended the massive fish. The store clerk was taken him, three men went to the hospital (for the fun of it I’m sure), and Izzun slipped away quietly.
Izzun sat in the middle of the floor, feeling tired. “Well, I would have brought you some pizza, but the place got demolished in the fight.”
Jakura scratched his chin. “May I ask why you felt the need for a dino piñata?” He leaned forward anxiously. “Tell me you didn’t invite your friends over. I really can’t deal with another one of your parties, Izzun.”
“What? Oh, yeah. Well, you see, all of my friends are in the apocalyptic side of town. They’re all busy in bomb shelters, or something.” The windows were darkened now, and the city lights started to dim. "Well, I guess it’s time to hit the hay, wouldn’t you say so, Jakura?
At three in the morning, Izzun woke up on the sofa with a headache. “Ohhh, what now? can’t I get any sleep?” He wiped the night’s dinner, nachos, off of his face and stumbled into the restroom. He finished in there, forgot to flush, and was all ready for a good night’s sleep. “What… is that… blue light?” He stumbled off of the couch and quietly snuck into the next room. There was Jakura, eyes wide open, slightly drooling, staring intently at something on his computer. When Izzun looked closer, he saw a gleaming picture of the Mask of Hype on the screen. “What now? I told him that was a fraud.” Izzun whispered to himself. Seeing a brown paper bag in the corner, a devious prank began to form in Izzun’s mind.
Standing right behind Jakura, paper bag inflated, Izzun pulled his hand back, grinned, and slammed the bag, forcing the air pressure inside to rupture the paper material at a high speed, and thus releasing an overly exxesive “Pop” sound effect.
With a howl, Jakura leaped out of his chair, hit his head on the low ceiling, and came crashing back down on his chair, smashing it into smithereens. When he turned around, frightened and half-awake and drool all over himself, he saw Izzun laughing his heart out on the floor.
“Aw, man!” He guffawed. “You should’ve seen your face!”
Jakura clenched his fists, and fire surrounded them. As the smoke curled around his mask, he moved towards Izzun, growling like a Kavinika.
“Now, now, then,” Izzun muttered as he layered his hands in sharpened icy spikes, “Remember what you said on your birthday - no Kavinikas in the house.”
Jakura roared, leaping at Izzun whilst engulfed in flames. Izzun quickly lunged both icy fists upwards.
At 6 A.M, Jakura woke. His head hurt terribly. Izzun was already awake, and painfully trying to stand. He wobbled around like he was drunk, and crashed into the sofa. Jakura looked around him, only to find Izzun’s efforts to knock him unconscious worked wonderfully, on both of them. Scratching his head, Izzun weakly stared at the clock. It read “6:00 A.M. (wimpy koro time).”
Izzun and Jakura stared at each other, and finally Izzun muttered, “Well, (groan), time to get ready for work.”
“I hate you,” Jakura muttered. “You know that, right? I was in the middle of research…”
Izzun crossed his arms in disbelief.
“Okay, okay - it wasn’t necessarily ‘research’. But still, I’m beginning to regret this decision to let you stay here…” He staggered dizzily over to the pantry and opened it up. He rubbed his eyes and tried not to pass out as he picked through the food. “Sit down,” he said gruffly. "If we hurry, we can have a quick breakfast. “Whattya want? I’ve got Taku eggs, toast and Bula jelly, Frosted Flakes, nachos…”
Izzun groaned. Too much nachos had turned into a bathroom cleaning job, and it was only the morning. Maybe dinner. “Okay, Frosted Flakes* sounds fine.” He slumped at the table, and slowly ate the flakes.
Suddenly, after they were just finishing eating and talking on the moral subject of whether or not popping a brown paper bag filled with air should be illegal, the phone rang. Jakura answered it, and promptly handed it to Izzun, smiling slightly.
“H-hello? This is Izzun speaki-”
(Loud angry screaming that threatened the safety of Izzun’s ear drum)
“Fine. Be over in five.”
Outside, Jakura was about to get walking to the “bus” stop, when he remembered something: Izzun is stingy. He doesn’t like to use gas. Yet, he takes his car to work every morning (almost) and is never late, and he said he’d be there in five minutes! How is this possible? He can’t push it that fast! “Um, Izzun,” Jakura asked skeptically as the being came out through the door, "How come I never see you drive to work?
“Well,” stammered Izzun. “It’s just… well, it’s kind of like…” he sputtered as he casually lifted the police car with one hand, “Um… tell ya what, i’ll explain when I come home, okay? Seeya!” and off Izzun sprinted over the rooftops, car in hand, while Jakura’s jaw fell open like a rusty door
“The heck?” Jakura uttered in disbelief. “If the neighbors find out…”
He shook his head as the ussal-bus rolled up. “Oh, well - it could be worse.”
Jakura groaned as the nagging voice of his manager ringed through his ears. The fat Matoran rarely did anything but shout at people through his megaphone and steal widgets from the donation tray. “What do you want… sir?” Jakura asked.
The manager crossed his arms over his large stomach and grumbled, “You still need to restock the toilet paper! I asked you to do that yesterday, did I not?”
“Sorry, sir,” Jakura said dully. “I must’ve gotten distracted by the robber.”
“Well - quit being distracted! Go open those boxes and restock the paper, now!”
Jakura nodded and swung around sleepily. He unlocked the storage room and began to unpack the toilet paper.
I wonder how Izzun’s day is going so far…he thought.
Izzun landed in the usual crater behind the police headquarters, hopped in his car, and sped off to do his usual rounds. Speeding down to Subways*, he grabbed a quick drink and went to the corner to watch for speeding vehicles. Noticing a speeding vehicle coming down the road, Izzun got out of his car, stood by the side of the road, and started humming “Oh My Darling Clementine” while he stuck his foot out. The car hit his foot and flew into a nearby dumpster. Finishing his humming song, he went over and yanked the person out of the destroyed vehicle. “Looks as though this rope will do,” Izzun said as he hogtied the driver and threw him in the police car’s trunk, “so as to protect the back seat.”
The person had this on him:
Specifically market plan
Over a dozen speeding tickets
Izzun remembered item #2 suddenly. The plan! He quickly read it over, and then realized that, with three partners, these crooks were going to blow up a random gas station!
…There was also a crudely drawn pic of Jakura on fire and in terrible pain.
“The gas station’s random, so how does Jakura… fit…” and Izzun hopped in his car and blazed down the road, hoping to get to the Kakamaway gas station before it was too late.
“Oh, I hate this, oh, I hate this, oh, I hate this stinkin’ job…”
Jakura sang his song to the tune of “Oh My Darling, Clementine” - “Darn Izzun for getting this in my head!” - as he finished unpacking the toilet paper. He brought it inside and stocked it on the shelves, hoping he did it “prettily” enough for the manager. Apparently he did, but rather than scream at him, the manager only yelled.
“Well, it certainly took ya long enough, Toa! Be faster next time!”
“Yes…sir,” Jakura said tonelessly.
As soon as the manager left, Jakura whipped out his portable iStone and dialed Izzun’s number. “Hello, Izzun? I’m about ready to slit my throat…”
Izzun was spluttering more than usual. “There’s a - it’s a - you have to - save yourself! Some random guy is going to set you on a fire at some random gas station!!”
“You mean… Kakamaway?”
“No, the list here specifically says ‘random’.”
Jakura groaned. “Could you explain it a bit more, please? I’m not in the mood for your stupidity right now…”
“Well, look who’s talking? Now, the pic of the plot shows a gas station on fire with you next to it! It has to be Kakamaway!” Jakura was about to question Izzun’s intelligence again, when the phone signal was lost. “Darn phone,” said Izzun. “It keeps losing signal. Oh well, I-”
The car raced past Izzun’s vehicle, doing 20-30K MPH. Izzun thought about it for a minute, and then turned his car around and raced the other way. He had a plan, and it had better “work”.
Izzun raced down to the largest open parking lot, and parked the car (improperly). He created a massive ice sphere, capable of crushing a house, and then without proper safety procedure, flumg it in the nearest direction of Kakamaway, hoping Jakura had a few widgets on him.
And Jakura then stepped out into the parking lot Izzun was in for his 3&1/2 minute lunch break. Apparently, izzun hadn’t noticed that he was standing right in front of a donut shop - Jakura’s favorite food.
He ran smack into Izzun - literally - and dropped his doughnut on the ground. He growled.
“Um, yes ma’am? Oh, it’s you Jakura. I thought it was… wait, where did I fling that ice sphere?”
“What ice sphere?” Questioned Jakura, picking up his donut and looking disgusted. A look of horror and shock suddenly appeared on Izzun’s face, and he yanked Jakura into the car, making him drop his donut. “Hey, my donut! why did you- AAAAHHHHH!!!” Screamed the valiant Toa of Fire as Izzun raced down the road at 75 mph, before slamming on the brakes at the Kakamaway gas station.
Jakura’s boss stepped out of his office, grabbed his megaphone, inhaled deeply, and was about to scream for Jakura to return when he noticed a massive ice sphere, crushing a car(the one with the explosives), and all of the parking lot. And then he promptly fainted.
After a few seconds, Izzun said “Hey, I thought you didn’t work Sundays.”
Jakura held his finger up and took in a breath as if to say something - then he let his finger droop, and the air wheezed out of him with a sound not unlike that of a leaking balloon.
He turned to look at the car. “What the heck did you do, Izzun?” He folded his arms and looked back at Izz. “What did I tell you? Gremlins aren’t actually gremlins - it’s a brand of car!”
Izzun threw his hands up in the air and sputtered for a moment. When he did finally talk, it wasn’t very happy. “Well, I’m sorry, good sir, that I came all the way out here to save your life! You could’ve died!”
Jakura rubbed his sinuses. “Izzun, the only thing I was in danger of was your giant ice… thing. What the heck was that even for, anyway? Knowing my boss, he would’ve made me pay for the station - and then I would’ve melted your body down for scrap to sell for widgets.”
“And you should know,” said Izzun, “bodies don’t melt. They just burn… up… Right, look, Jakura, all I was trying to do was save your life, I mean, the whole place could have blown up. I- uh oh, your boss is stirring. Looks like we better split.” And Izzun drove away before Jakura was able to protest.
Finally, they returned home. Izzun parked the car (killing the grass underneath), and they both went inside. Jakura slumped on the couch, exhausted. “Look,” he explained " I probably can’t go back to work until the asphalt is repaired, which means I might as well go with you to your job tomorrow."
Izzun looked shocked. Jumping up from his seated position, he bolted out the door, and went to the car. “I almost forgot” he said as he pulled the hogtied robber out from the back of his car, “I must return this to the police station. I’ll be back in ten.” and with car in one hand, robber in other, he sprinted over the rooftops to the station, leaving Jakura groaning on the couch.
TO BE CONTINUED
*Frosted Flakes is the property of Kellogg’s® and Subway® is the property of Subway® Restaurants. This is placed here so they don’t burn us up in their fiery rage.