I talked to a new person today!
I’m gonna keep this brief. I’ve been doing a program called Running Start, essentially being able to take college classes during highschool. Going to the local campus and everything. And of course this means meeting a whole bunch of new people. Of which I’ve tried socializing with a few. Most didn’t go far, but in the last couple classes I’ve been talking to a girl and we’ve been getting along super well! What with plenty of time to talk before class and a lot of shared interests. So I feel like this could very quickly develop into a good friendship.
Okay now here's a part that might not be so brief.
I know what I’ve said about anticipating any kind of romantic development this early on. And to an extent I’m still sticking to that. But I still can’t help but think about it. Of the people I’ve been talking to she’s easily the one I’m most likely to get that far with. Again thanks to our common interests and plenty of time to socialise. I know I can’t get my hopes up because if I do I’ll only get let down. But it’s so hard not to. I haven’t developed any romantic attraction to her specifically. It’s more so the idea about possibly being in a relationship again. My head feels like it’s spinning with different thoughts and feelings. The idea that I might actually have someone again, that I finally won’t be alone anymore. It’s driving me mad. I can’t stop thinking about it. But I’m still desperately trying to keep it down. I’m trying to suppress any excitement because I know if I let my emotions run wild I’m only going to feel hurt. It’s so hard to keep myself optimistic but keeping my mind from going too far. I’m happy and excited simply for talking to a new person, but everything else is just… Noise. Painful, emotional, noise.