The self-consiliation topic

This is the self-consiliation topic, a topic that I personally thing should have existed by now.
I mean, we have a relationship topic, so this one should have big chances to exist without getting shut down too.

We all have our problems. Some of them are extremely personal, but some of them could be shared to other people, in search to find somebody that would be able to help us. Most of the times those people are our parents, our closest friends, a professional, etc.
The TTV MB should be one unified community, in which we can talk about our problems without being afraid that some might react the wrong way or make a joke out of them. So now I created this topic, where you can discuss your personal problems, like anxiety, insecurities, etc. Obviously there would be no actual professional tips, but I am sure that the ones that we can provide would be good enough to help.
I ask the mods to not close this topic, at least not for now. I don’t expect this topic to boom like the aforementioned relationships one, but again: this should have already existed.

If anybody cares about my problem, here it is:

I am generally the smart, kinda nerdy character in the class, although in the last years I tried to get rid of this identity and to be more of a social person, that tries to stay more in contact with his friends and classmates. I am ranging between good and very good at all of my classes, even the ones that are not part of our high school profile (best example: math. I am unusually good at math for the class I picked (long story, needs context)). When I was young, I was thought by my parents that such aptitudes would make the people around me respect me, but either they were wrong, or those people are not in my direct surroundings.
There are a lot of people in my class, especially girls, the ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■-good-grades-from-time-to-time-type of girls, that explode every time I get a good grade, or some teacher shows his or her admiration for my activity at his or her class. They get arrogant, they try to pity me, to cancel me, to isolate me from the rest of the group. This really hurts, especially that only a relatively short time ago I started realising that the islolationist approach that I was having on me hurts me more than it benefits. They think that I am arrogant to them, that I look at them from above, that I think that I am the best and they are worms. Spoiler alert: I don’t. I never did and I will never do, because at least towards the small sample that is my class, I see everybody as equal, only that some choose to use their time more productively, like reading, than others do by taking selfies three times per brake and listening to gypsy music put on max volume till the very second the teacher enters the class. On the contrary, I actually really respect a select few and I look up to them for being better examples than I am, even tho their grades are smaller than mine at certain classes (btw, I am on the “grades don’t fully represent the person” side of the argument).
I really want to yell at them, to fight them, to try to force the idea into their head that I do not see myself better than them, that I respect them all as fellow Romanian students just as myself. Today actually I had to fight like one third of the class. You want to know the reason? I preferred to handwrite chemical formulas instead of capital writing. In four years I never met anybody explicitly telling me that I have to capital write them, and now suddenly it is a shameless thing and I need to get publicly crucified in front of the teacher.
I know they are just jealous on me. I just know. It’s obvious. But I cannot say this streight to their face, as this would more than likely make the situation worse.
It might also be partly my fault, as I know my stereotype unwilingly transmits arrogance by doing nothing, but I try my best to seem just a normal guy.
a normal guy that reads political books in the brakes and rarely leaves the class, but a normal guy nonetheless

Anyway, this doesn’t really matter.
Let’s discuss.

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Well, about your problems for a bit:

First off, I know you say you don’t feel like you put yourself above the other people in your class, but, at least from the way you worded a few things, it does sound like you might think you’re more…proactive? I don’t know, to me it sounds like you harbor some kind of annoyance towards at least a few of these people.

But here’s the thing: being intelligent isn’t something to be ashamed of. If you enjoy your time by learning or reading or whatever, then that’s just what you do. You aren’t responsible for how others interpret that. If they’re choosing to compare their self-worth to your success in academics, then that’s completely on them.

From my own experience as an academic person, people will do and say things like this. “Oh my gosh, Vladin got an A? Of course he did.” To me it’s always felt like a venting of people’s own frustrations. But what you need to be cognizant of is that other people’s opinions of you don’t define you. You don’t need to prove that you don’t think you’re better than them if you don’t think you’re better than them.

Remain humble. Be helpful. Keep a positive attitude. Be grateful. You will do much more by your actions than you will by attempting to verbally convince them.

A couple other words of wisdom:

  1. You’re in what, high school? Take it from every graduate on this site, whatever you think is important in high school, isn’t. Yes, you should still try and do your best in academics and try and build up your character, but by no means are you or your classmates going to remember or even care about the drama that goes down.
  2. You’re talking about the girls in your class. HEED THEM NOT. Especially the ones you described.
  3. Don’t care about other peoples’ opinions so much. I know that’s easier said than done, but you’ll find this out more for yourself as you get older. What you should focus on is figuring out yourself. Get some close friends, even if it’s just one. Do what you enjoy. Obviously, this doesn’t give you free reign to be a jerk, but you should not be spending your days worrying about what other people think of you. Worry about what you think of you.
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So, I know you probably had good intentions with this topic, but I’m shutting it down for a couple of reasons

  1. This topic could and probably would easily turn into a pity-party topic. While you feel like us mods shouldn’t close it, we feel it could get out of hand quickly

  2. There are some problems that people just don’t want to talk about or could trigger bad memories in others in one way or another. Personally, I’ve got some stuff that I don’t really feel comfortable sharing in a public space and would only reserve for family or close friends. Also, we don’t want users coming to us after finding this topic and complaining about how a certain post reminded them of an ex or something like that

  3. Some of the issues people could talk about should probably be handled by a professional, not a group of high school/college-age kids even if they are studying psychology. Also, the advice other users could give would probably be very limited

Given these reasons it doesn’t make sense for this sort of topic to continue functioning

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