The Shadowed One's Vacation

The Shadowed One and Ancient started the Dark Hunters with the central purpose of gaining profit. But what’s the point of having money if you don’t use it?

The Shadowed One has tasked you with planning the perfect vacation for him. Money is no object, and neither is time (just be careful mentioning time around TSO). What is your pitch?

-This is mostly meant for fun/satire, but if you want to try and figure out a vacation that fits perfectly within canon, be my guest! (and who says trying to fit things into canon isn’t fun?)
-This could be during any era. The choice is yours! (could even be reformed Spherus Magna)
-Your pitch must include the phrase “Will make you feel 3000 years younger!!” somewhere.
-I know we’re talking about the Dark Hunters, but let’s try and keep this PG.

Happy Booking!


I think he should go to… oh, say Canada and just sit in the wilderness, he’ll be even more of a soulless monster afterwards.


proceeds to send TSO to Philladelphia

calming, satirical-sounding music starts playing


are you bored of commanding a legion of mercenaries?
want to take a break from it all?
then come to mata nui! a delightful island paradise, with friendly locals,
amazing views, and wonderful culture to experience! guaranteed to make you feel 3000 years younger!

may include maori lawsuit


Have you got trillions of dollars, but too many enemies for you use them effectively?
Have other criminal organizations begun taking the edge off of your profits?
You may be in need of a trip to Las Vegas!
Guaranteed to make you feel (and possibly become) 3000 years younger!
Just make sure that the casinos are willing to pay up, so that your mercenaries don’t start burning the town!


If I had posted this today, I bet someone would have said that they want to send the Shadowed One to Ohio.