It isn’t finished but here is what the image looks like so far. Currently at 79 layers.
Third Story Arc Rough Outline, The Great Siege of Artakha, and The Final Battle [Worldbuilding][Pitch][WIP]
Oh my god, that looks cool! I’m getting the whole “fallen angels cast from heaven” vibe with the Skrall falling surrounded by the fires!
Thanks, I always wanted to make an image with raining fire.
Are you putting this up by the Great Siege of Artakha section, or is this the new image for the topic?
Yeah I am going to add it there as well, I just got side tracked for a moment.
I’m running through a bunch of the pitches on the Boards to get a better idea of where people are at preemptively to the release of our Story Bible (it’s out now for Patreons, but it isn’t complete just yet).
Just to clarify - this is stuff you’re wanting for the Third Story Arc - that is, after what’s going on with our Three Year Pitch for Ekimu and Makuta, and the perhaps two year pitch beyond that featuring Karzahni?
Visually, I really like the presentation of this pitch. All of the high quality renders and art are very good, and they sell the concept very well.
The two big issues are going to be what we have planned for Annona - as we’ve talked about in the last podcast we recorded (should be out Wednesday?) she’s not going to be related to anything regarding the Brothers or Mata Nui.
Additionally, I’m just kind of not seeing what Mata Nui being revived has to offer narratively. We’ve already done the revival plot with Makuta (and the surprise revival with Karzahni). I don’t want to rehash that again, and additionally, I’m not sure what benefit Mata Nui being revived with have to the story, or what that brings forward for our main characters.
Last we decided on, the Toa don’t turn into Turaga in G3.
This would take place after the possible Karzahni arc.
Regarding Annona: The idea behind her is as a personification of all of the Three Brother’s worst qualities, as well as an uninhibited creation. She doesn’t have to be connected to the Brothers or Mata Nui, but that’s how I introduced her in the Mata Nui and His Sons pitch. This could reinforce Makuta’s drive to control, to prevent an Annona-type situation.
Regarding Mata Nui’s revival: The way it’s been thought for Mata Nui, He is tied to the existence of the Nuva in some way. If He dies, the Nuva die, and then Artakha dies. The only way to ensure He does not die while he’s in a coma is if he is stabilized and woken up, to prevent being taken unawares.
As for His purpose in the narrative, He’s a major character in G1 (being the central plot point of the entire G1 franchise). I’m not sure how He’d play a major role, but not having Him play a major role seems like a disservice. It’s similar to your argument with Takua’s character being introduced, but on a greater scale.
Regarding Turaga and Toa: Fair enough.
I’m really happy you took the time to read through this pitch and offer feedback. Again, this pitch doesn’t have to be used; it’s simply something you might use for source material.
Thank you for taking the time to read through the pitches and leave feedback, it truly means a lot to me.
Yes, I was pitching this as a possible story arc that takes place after the featuring Karzahni. I wasn’t saying I necessarily wanted it to be exactly this way but I thought maybe you guys would find some aspects of it useful for a potential third story arc.
Thank you sir.
I will keep my eye out for that podcast so I can possibly make adjustments to fit with the direction you guys are going.
Well, he provided an origin for the three brothers’ powers and indirectly, Annona’s origin. We had pitched Mata Nui as a good entity that was put to sleep by his sons so they could steal his powers and Annona as a direct result of the lack of his guidance. In the end, the Toa sacrifice themselves to destroy Annona and awake Mata Nui in the process, who then removes all shadow as light.
I can see how it would be kind of a rehash and agree that he might not be all that necessary here though.
To clarify, I was just thinking Turaga was what their leaders are called and doesn’t change any physical traits.
I think, conceptually, one of the things we’re really trying to step away from is a character that is the embodiment of evil, or the embodiment of good. We’ve seen that story told in Bionicle already, and it really ends up falling short narratively. I know some people are attached to something like the embodiment of chaos and evil - ala the Joker, but with the restrictions that a kid’s LEGO line is going to have, portraying that isn’t going to be something that we’ll be able to do. Plus, coming off the Makuta and Karzahni storylines, I feel like it’s a solid step backwards in terms of conceptual villain or hero characters.
My argument with Takua was that we’d be better off not using the character at all, or if we were, we would need to directly address the subversion his role in the current story. In our first draft, the kid was unnamed. Naming him put this new emphasis on the character, he would have to have some more significance than what we were doing with him. Mata-Nui as the (dead) All-Father I think properly fulfills that reference.
(I would also actually say that Mata Nui isn’t as important a character as Takua in G1, but that doesn’t really matter)
The major thing with this pitch that I’m seeing is that while there is some really cool moments and character designs, there’s not a lot about how this ties into the other arcs thematically, or how it impacts our main characters and their own personal arcs. If the spectacle outweighs the characters, the actual story will get lost in the weeds.
Even the new characters don’t seem to have layers complexity as actual characters, but rather as cannon fodder to drive the final siege home as being vast and epic. To shape the pitch a little better, I think you guys would need to pay more attention to those details.
You make a fair point. I think Mata Nui could probably be removed from the plot without any major problems and Annona’s character could be adjusted to work better.
As far as tying in the character development, we don’t yet have any information on how the characters evolve in the first two arcs so naturally we couldn’t add that yet. After the story bible comes out, we can probably fill in some more details.
I was thinking each arc would fulfill one of the three virtues Unity, Duty, and Destiny. The first arc being the Toa coming together in unity. The second arc being the Toa learning their duty. The third arc being the fulfillment of the Toas’ destiny.
ok first I want this to last more than 3 years if possible 2nd insted of skrall you could use the shadow horde from G2 wave 4 and also do you really want the toa to die i mean I like to leave it up to others imaginations
This was proposed as a third story arc, not a third year. The first story arc the cast said would be stretched across three years. So if each arc was a similar length, this would be around the 9th year of the theme.
The skrall are the shadow horde from g2 (pre Umarak the destroyer) in this pitch which are controlled via hive mind.
It was an idea to send off our heroes, letting them unite with their elemental lord. I don’t really know what you mean by leaving it to our imaginations though, has that ever happened?
oh I see I was very confused but still I want the name Skrall to be for a sentient species not Anonnas’ monsters I think the shadow monsters would work better and they should be easy to destroy than that in other words like Surturs’ minions from the beginning of Thor Ragnorok
I personally never really saw the Skrall as being all that sentient as they always seemed to be the run of the mill cannon fodder army stereotype. I believe the shadow monsters should have a name like the Skrall rather than some generic name like the Shadow Horde.
I can understand if you liked the original concept of the tribe esque Skrall and don’t want them to become a Bohrok esque army. I personally really like this idea but to each their own.
yes I’m passionate about Skrall and couldn’t you do Baterra instead?
Yes we could have used that name but the Baterra were white and don’t fit with the shadow theme. And I also just really like the name Skrall as it gives an intimidating vibe which I don’t feel with the name Baterra.
well then how about vatuka?
I still prefer Skrall but Vatuka could work.
Call them Krakari. There’s not enough new names in G3.
never mind I just thought of some design for the Skrall and it’s awsome
though I’m going to ask that they are not as hard to kill as @Bokarda’s concept pleez
pleez forgive me I’m a horrible artist but here is my art concept:
so this is the basic skrall who is based off Storm Beast these make the majority of the invasion force they are average strength and rely more on numbers than power. here’s a better look at the head(below)
this is the brute skrall it is based off Quake Beast (pleez ignore the pod branch) they are bigger, stronger, and harder to kill unlike the normal Skrall they absorb energy to strengthen themselves. they also throw boulders at foes
I would Imagine one of these being the first to spawn
I didn’t do a Lava Beast one yet pleez stay tuned
and another theory on your Kal I think that for every one there is an evil Demon-Kal here’s the list of Borkada’s Kal and who’s side they’re on:
Brutaka/Umarak(the Shadowed One)
so you see how it works is say Keetongu is the Kal of life wheras his demon Kulta is death and this continues with all of them and whatever Kal type they are
now I’m going to be honest and say while this idea is epic I also like the nomad army ideas of skrall so I’m going to see which one comes out as canon