Utopia Down

First and foremost, this is a series by me.

I’ve been having ideas about my own OCs for years now, and I’m finally writing a story about it.

I guess a synopsis is necessary. Introverted high school junior Hisoka and his uptight “perfect” senior sister Seiko have the potential to become espers, which is kinda like special powers (usually also comes with enhanced physical abilities as well). I’d compare it to Sembalances in RWBY, or septimal abilities from Azure Striker Gunvolt.
A mysterious man known only as Dr. Magura plans to enlist them in his supposed forces, but for what reason, what is he trying to accomplish? Who knows. Well, you’ll know as the story goes on.

Of course, this is VERY loose.

If anyone has any suggestion where else I could get more feedback, that’d be great!

Big language warning, though. And general unpleasantness occasionally.

UPDATE: I’m using fictionpress.com! I’ll post a link when I’m allowed to start publishing (because I can’t do that yet.).


If you wish to post your story, you may do so here. But trying to link it to an off-site link is considered advertising and since you are not a Master, that is not allowed.

Additionally, we do not appreciate you attempting to link to a story with strong language that isn’t being filtered. We have the filter for a reason, do not try and subvert it. Thank you.


I understand. However, I did put a warning in my initial post about language.

Also, is it true that I just can’t link the site?

It is. It counts as advertising. You are welcome to post your story directly here.

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But, I can say what website it is being posted to? Because it’s under the same name. That’s not breaking any rules, is it?

You can mention it, but if you aren’t gonna post the story here and are just trying to redirect folks elsewhere, then there isn’t much point to having the topic open.

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I get what you mean, but one of the main reason why I wanted this topic was to get critiques.
######and I’ve gotten none so far

That’s perfectly fine, however to do that you’ve got to post the story here, because otherwise it’s advertising and that is a perk for the Master rank.

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