You get the power to go invisible, but only while you're looking into a mirror with your eyes closed.
I give you the power to raise the dead but only if said dead person's first name starts with X
I give you the power of paradox, but only when you have no powers
I give you the power to breath...
I give you the power to teleport 1 centimeter, and you can only do it when you're standing on the Empire State Building.
I grant you the power to choke people, but only when they are squeezing their throats...
But I could choke people before
I giveth thee the power of super speed, but only when you're racing against exactly 37,836 snails.
I grant you the power to eat food, but only while breathing...
I give you the power of teleportation...
but only for 5 minutes after you win a poker game with Ben Affleck, Justin Bieber, and Mickey Mouse.
Also, you must be inside a dishwasher.
I give you the power to restore the universe, 5 minutes after it has ended.
I give you the power to jump to outer space, but you can't be wearing anything to protect you.
I give you the power of Fry!
You get every power imaginable, but only when the sun collides with Venus, Earth, and exactly 725,937,910,832 carrot aliens.
No more, no less.
I give you the powers to open doors, but only with your arms....
I give you the powet to type at light speed, but for every letter you type you lose an ounce of blood.
You have the ability to shrink, but only by about half an inch.
You have the ability to travel in time by an hour but only on days that fall on Daylight savings time.
I give the power of 1999!
The ability to be invisible if you have your eyes closed.
That could actually be useful.
You get the power to resist all radiation and heat, but only after you've been standing on the sun for 10 seconds.