So, I read through this whole topic for some reason It has actually been a interesting look into the human nature. The happy. The depressing. The cringe. and I can say that for sharing an interest of biomechanical asexual beings, there is actually proof that love in fact is canon. At least in the fandom.
Thought I would share some stuff, not sure if it's going to help anyone or present any kinds of new ideas. at hte very least I hope someone can get a good read out of it.
So I am at the time of writing this 23 years old, and I am in university studying to become a chef. Why is this relevant? I'll tell you. Anyone that has been in school/university generally aimed for people in the ages between 18 and 30 something is at the very least aware of the often quite active life the weekend nights brings. The same applies for work in restaurants. It is a quite common phenomenon in this business to "connect the balljoint" with people in the same business after hours, after a few drinks.
So what am I getting at? What I am saying is that some people would assume that this is the perfect environment for either finding a semi-satble relationship or just have fun. But that kind of interaction or relationship doesn't really interest me, which some people I have worked with find strange. I am looking for something that hopefully will be long-lasting and brings more joy than the temporary rush the other lifestyle creates.
This has in a way been a problem for me, considering the situation I find myself in, studying at a culinary university and working in restaurants during the summer. Partly because many people follow that lifestyle around here, but also because the school is located in a small town with only around 800 residents, out of which around 250-300 are students. The opportunities to find someone with the same ideas around here is not all that easy, since I'm either already friends or have some other kind of relation with most people here. I don't have any problem talking to people generally, and I very much enjoy spending time with other people. I do however have a bit of a problem talking to someone in a way that is more than just friendly. This has led to me having a lot of friends here, out of which around 3/4 are female (not because I have tried pursuing anything with all of them, it just happened to be more females that I connected with here). Now that I am in my final year of university, I can honestly say that spending a lot of time around friends of the opposite gender has made me more comfortable in myself when it comes to romantic endeavours.
But still the problem of meeting someone that I don't already have an established relationship with still stands. Sure, I could try pursuing something with someone here, but I honestly feel that a friendly relationship is more beneficial for me with most people here.
There have not been all that much talk about online dating in this topic, and when it has been brought up, it seems that it has been shut down for being bad, not serious or downright harmful. Sure this could be the case, Tinder, but to me, and to many others it is either the only option or simply the most valid.
Now, I'm gonna be the first one to say that I was also initially highly sceptical of the concept of online dating, but I still decided to give it a shot. In my experience, I went through several different apps and pages, and I found most of htem to be either overly complicated, expensive or downright stupid Tinder. I eventually settled for a site that was free and had a decently high number of members, and out of those members there seemed to be a generally more serious tone. Something that was kind of off-putting to me of this site at first was the way contact with other members was made. Most often, these kinds of apps have a chat function which works just fine. This, however, was designed in such a way that you sent the other person mails. At first, this seemed to not really fit my way of trying to find contact with other people, chats simply seems more efficient.
However, the more I used it, the more it made sense. Let me paint you a scenario. If you write to someone that you don't have any prior relationship with in a chat, it often goes something like this:
"Hey, what's up?"
"Nothing much, you?"
"Same, just got home from work."
Potential love of my life has logged out.
It often dies out quite quickly. With the mail system, it encourages you to read the other person's profile to find things in common, and to write something more attention-grabbing than just "Hi". This does of course mean that you should fill out your profile, something that a lot of people didn't do, and some people often relied on that one perfect selfie to recieve messages and other contact. But if you are online to find something serious, you probably can take the time to fill out a decent profile, so that way you can easily differentiate the ones that is worth spending your time on from those who you should just pass by.
So yeah, I was bored and wanted to write something, so I wrote a whole essay here. Why isn't it this easy to write actual essays for school? I think that online dating gets a bad rep, and sometimes it really is not deserved. Rant concluded.