After reading this topic, I decided to dish out some Pun-ishment.
After my pet dolphin disappeared, I didn't know what to do with my life. Then, I found my porpoise.
Never trust an atom, they make up everything.
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender says, "no ropes allowed." the rope walks out, ties himself up, pulls at the strings at his ends, and walks back in. The bartender asks, "Hey, aren't you that rope from earlier?" The rope says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."