We all know the famous title scroll that gives the overview of the movie. I’m excited for episode 8 and I just always need something to keep me excited so write a title scroll for me.
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It is a period of cancerous memes. 4chan spaceships, striking from a hidden thread, have won their first victory against the evil Reddit Empire.
During the battle, 4chan spies managed to steal secret plans to the Normie’s ultimate weapon, the DOWNVOTE MACHINE, a random website that spams downvotes with enough power to destroy an entire website.
Pursued by the Normie’s sinister agents, Princess Pepe signs into 4chan aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the internet…
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@Chilly_Productions Lol I laughed so hard at that. Great work!
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It is an age where you can’t keep a movie’s plot a secret anymore.
This will probably get leaked before the movie even comes out.
Have fun watching the movie, everyone…
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The Force Awakens spoilers didn’t get leaked.
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It was supposed to reference the fact that a lot of movie’s plots get spoiled a year before.
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@Takua Somewhat true but TFA was a real surprise for me at least. They did a good job not really letting any of it get out.
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Star Wars; Episode 8 - The Order of the Dark Side
It is a dark time for the once great empire of the Rebellion. Although the Star Killer Base has been destroyed, First Order troops have driven the remaining Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the stars.
Evading the dreaded First Order fleet, a small group of freedom fighters led by Poe Dameron has established a new secret base on the edge of the known galaxies.
The evil Supreme Leader Snoke, obsessed with finding Rey, has dispatched his top assassins into the far reaches of space…
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The Empire Strikes Back parody, to go with how many compared The Force Awakens to A New Hope
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That was pretty good!
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Edited category. (Since this is really a game.)
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WAR!
Now that I have your attention…
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Star wars Epsiode 8: The force gets breakfast:
Kylo Ren is sitting in his room crying about how he has been defeated by a girl. He need to think of a new plan in order to defeat the Resistance for his lord Gollum. Then as he went to the space Denny’s he ran into a friend of his grandfathers-and hesa willing to help the grandson of Annie.
Meanwhile, Finn is tying to think about how he can tell Rei-senpai about how he feels when BB8 finds an old podracer whichcould be the start of the winging streak of the reistance.
Meanwhile Rei is busy training with Luke, who for some reason is wearing clown makeup and laughing crazily.
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STAR WARS VIII
The Fight For Balance
With the destruction of the Hosnian System and Starkiller Base, the sinister FIRST ORDER and the noble RESISTANCE are at a stalemate, both sides retreating to seek an edge in the coming war.
SUPREME LEADER SNOKE has recalled his apprentice, Kylo Ren to complete his training, and to pass on his teachings to the other knights of Ren. Rey the scavenger, has sought out the incredible LUKE SKYWALKER in hopes of receiving Jedi training.
But the Force works in ways beyond those trained to use it, as the resistance fighters Poe Dameron and Finn are soon to find out as they prepare to disembark on their first mission together to scout a new location for the Resistance secret base on the remote planet of FALTAS II…
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Meanwhile, on a dump planet known as 9gag, swaglukesonicfan searches with his uncle facebook for new captchas.
It’s a time of war.
Some evil dude built a super-weapon and blew up an insignificant planet.
Rebels are kicking his butt.
EPISODE VIII: THE FORCE HITS THE SNOOZE BUTTON
The FORCE awakened. But it needed a few more minutes.
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it is a period of controversy
bonkle 2015 has been cancelled
g1ers have destroyed the hypetrain
there are squables among users
and double posting
it is up to the brave, young, and handsome
Luke Skyeewalker to rek the g1er scrubs
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It is a period of grieve
Harambe has just been killed and his killer is no longer a meme
Princess GassyPoopFart is the only one that can save us
STAR WARS
EPISODE VIII: THE LAST JEDI
A long time ago in a go, in a galaxy far, far away… something happened. I’m gonna level with you, I’m not really sure what. I’m only an intern. I only got here yesterday, and they told me “hey, we’re supposed to ship the final version of the movie tomorrow, and we don’t have an introduction. So write one.” So now I have, and honestly, I’m pretty sure no one is going to check it before they stick it in the movie… wouldn’t that be hilarious? Anyways, what follows is highly speculative, because I honestly thought I’d just be making coffee and telling people not to trip over cables and stuff, so I didn’t really familiarize myself with the franchise. But I’ll do my best.
So I know there’s a guy named Luke and that he’s pretty old because him being found in the last movie was a meme a while ago. Looked like a pretty secluded place, too, you know, so now that he’s been found, people are probably asking him to do all sorts of stuff that he didn’t do before he left… like, there’s still a list of chores that he never completed, responsibilities that he ran away from, and the people he left behind are so petty and trying to ride his fame that they have never forgotten about that. Others’ll probably want to cash in favors with him before he disappears again, so he’ll probably end up picking up a lot of groceries, mowing lawns, that kind of stuff. Actually, lightsabers could probably mow lawns pretty well. Of course, normally people would get paid for this kind of thing, but he’s basically just trying to get everyone off his back, you know? How am I doing so far?
We need something bigger, though, and I think the whims of the plot will introduce some nefarious force that’s also after Luke to do things for them, 'cause he made a promise or something years ago and all that. Maybe they make it up to take advantage of him, I don’t know; they’re supposed to be baddies, I’m sure they don’t mind lying to get what they want. Maybe they offer him a lot of money first, corporation-style, but he don’t need no money 'cause he’s been living off the land, you know, so they have to play on his conscience instead. But maybe he does need the money… like, what if he has a son or daughter out there or something? I should ask the writers about that, but they’ve all gone home already 'cause their job was basically done months ago. But let’s say Luke has a child out there, and because, you know, he was gone for years, he owes a bunch of money in child support payments. Maybe that’s why he ran away the first time, and now it’s why he would take a job, so he ended up doing jobs for the bad guys of the movie for a while. Heck, the child could be the one that found him at the end of the last movie… I mean, I haven’t seen the rest of it, but that scene was all over the internet for a while, so I couldn’t really miss it.
The story’ll pick up, then, when he realizes, like, how bad these people are, you know? Like, they’re doing really messed up things, and he’s been paid to help them, to use whatever powers made him so famous back in the day that everyone was after him to get these people what or who they want. They probably spun him a tale about they were doing good things and all that, but he’s just found out otherwise. Problem is, since he’s employed by them and now under contract and all, he can’t speak out easily, plus he needs the money to pay all those child support payments. So he’s facing this moral dilemma of standing up against the man with his powers and whatnot or keeping his head down so he can get the failures of his past paid for and then leave. I think Luke’s a pretty stand-up guy, apart from the leaving and all, 'cause he just needed to get away for a while, so this’ll be a really tough decision for him.
Yeah, I think that’s where the movie starts. I don’t know, I haven’t seen it, but this seems okay. Plus, this is supposed to be just the introduction, so people probably won’t read through all of it. If you have, thank you, you make me feel like I did something actually meaningful here, 'cause it sure seemed to me like no one on the production team cared much about what I wrote. Either way, enjoy the movie, folks.
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