A new member of Splinter (WIP)

Hey everyone! I'm currently working on a new member of a team of outcasts called Splinter. I need your help!


I don't have a name for this female character just yet. I'm honestly having trouble coming up with one.
Info that might help you to understand this character:
She has the power of electricity. But, oddly enough, she's obsessed with metal, hence the silver and gold on her body. She dons the silver "wings" on her back because they fascinated her when she saw them at a shop and stole them. She does not have the ability to fly, though. But, this is pretty strange, considering her power, since metals and electricity can create a deadly combination.
How she acquired such a mask and this particular power? No one knows.
She can use many different kinds of weapons. She can use most anything, even with minimal practice. She is seen as being a bit on the insane side, though she is quite intelligent.
Feeling a sense of discrimination towards her, and her track record of criminal activity, drove her to leave her original home. She is now a part of the clan called Splinter, just like Iron Skull, among others. Many of the traits she holds makes her quite the asset for Splinter.
That's all I have for backstory now. Let me know any ideas you have as well!
Here are some pictures of my MOC in different poses:

Here is a view of her without her weapons.

An angular view.

Here's a close up on the body.

A look at the back.

Back at an angle.

Close-up of back without "Wings".

Front without wings.
The reason I came here to this site is because I can count on getting feedback very quickly, and thats what I appreciate about the TTV MB community. Thanks, you all!

11 Likes

Also thicken up that waist

The neck seems nice and the colorscheme is interesting, but maybe you should spread out silver, gold, teal and the burnt orange. Then again the gold could clash, so maybe remove it?

Otherwise think she's decent. Backstory's meh, maybe make it more... interesting. Intelliigent crazy seems abit boorish. As for the metal obsession... why or for what purpose does she think placing random gold or silver on her do for her?

About the name/story thing: unfortunately, I am fresh outta ideas at present.
Perhaps I'll return when I think of something that might work (if someone hasn't already submitted something better, that is).


Now, with regards to the MOC itself:
I understand that the inclusion of both gold and silver was for story purposes, but, honestly, it would improve the color scheme if you kept it to just the silver.

As for the build of the thing, What it really needs is a slightly beefier waist, as well as a much smoother transition from the waist to the hips, and a fairly heavily reworked chest-armor design.

The two-CCBS-shells-as-chest-armor design can, when done right (see almost any variation of @Ghosty's Self-MOC), look pretty good. But this isn't, so it doesn't.
The way the shells are oriented makes them jut out too far at the top, and then the long-ish transition to the (absurdly) skinny waist makes it look like an empty corset (which, from what I've gathered, is somethin' ya wanna avoid).
Aside from those (unfortunately quite prominent) flaws, this is a-

Let's see, what doesn't sound like I'm merely bashing it, but also doesn't sound like I'm forgetting everything I just noted

-fairly decent MOC.

Note: Any and all criticism I dish-out is intended purely to improve the MOC in question. If it sounds Like I am merely hating on this and providing nothing constructive, then I'm sorry, but it's more "how you interpret it" than "how I intended it" at that point.

1 Like

Looks pretty good. I enjoy the Burnt Orange/Teal-Green color scheme. Never seen that before.

The waist needs thickened, as do the knee areas.

I like the Turbo shovels on the gold arm, too!

Pros are 2 points and cons are -1 points

Pros
Complex
Evil looking
Color scheme works
Mask rules
Actually looks like a female
Gold... Enough said

Cons
Green is bothering
Feet look unstable

Overall... 10
Decent for a moc of this complexity. Hope to see a name for this moc soon, bit please remove the green for a different color

@JMP @Marendex_T17 @Hallorian_the_ferochian @PakariNation99
Thank you all for the recommendations! I knew the torso needed some work, so I'm brainstorming on how to improve it and fix that waist. I'm pretty content with the build of the arms and legs. As for the story, I'll probably make some adjustments to it as well.

That's exactly why I used it :grinning:


Please don't double-post. --John Smith

1 Like

Interesting. I feel like the concept could be freshened up a bit, though I do like it and the while 'splinter' thing, and I dunno about that chest technique, it looks a bit unprofessional. Maybe rotate them a bit? Also, I think those legs should be a bit more equally proportioned. The lower legs, at any rate.

Yeah. I'm working on the torso right now. It's giving me the most trouble.

Nice build. I like the colors but I think they fit more as a forest character rather than an electric or metal one. She could also use a bit more bulk in the stomach and lower legs. Overall I really like her, can't wait to see the rest of this group.

Very nice! The burnt orange and teal work really well. And then there is the gold. The gold and orange really clash. I think this would look great if you replaced the gold with black. I feel like the waist could use some work. Adding some more bulk and coverage of the technic frame would be nice. Also, the heels look a little bizarre. Aren't heels a bit impractical in combat since they would throw off balance and stability?

Overall, this is really good and shows potential of being absolutely fantastic. Really the biggest concern is that gold. The other issues are pretty minor. Good job! Keep it up.

If you'd like to see another MOC from Splinter, check out my MOC called Iron Skull, which can be found on my page here on the message boards.
To see the leader of Splinter, you can checkout my MOC called The Nameless One, on my YouTube Page.


Also, if anyone would like to see the modifications I made to this MOC, Click Here.
@JMP @Dr_Chronos @Windfall @MSEP @PakariNation99 @Hallorian_the_ferochian @Marendex_T17