Bionicle Generation 4: The Warriors

I can’t promote so let’s begin

A long long long time ago, there were over 600 villages, each ruled by a turaga and each ten turaga were ruled by a high turaga, the 60 high turaga were ruled by six grandhigh turaga and they were ruled by The Grandhigh Emperor, for many millenia, they lived in peace and harmony

But it didn’t last

A cruel warrior from a distant land came over, some joined him, some fought him and the rest of us, he enslaved! There was a great war until seemingly no one won, the war was at a standstill

Until now

“TURAGA SESHKI, TURAGA SESHKI!” Lenku screamed as she ran to a hut
“What is it?” Seshki asked
“I saw a star falling, has twilight dawn come?” She asked
“The stars are falling?” Seshki laughed “No my dear matoran, stars do not simply fall, but maybe Twilight Dawn has come!”
“Then come on, come on!” Lenku smiled as she pulled the old turaga outside

Seshki gasped as he saw a huge fire by the rocks, he headed towards it (much to Lenku’s worry) he chuckled as he saw the fire gulped up by a wave, revealing a shining gold canister
“Don’t touch it, it may be hot” Seshki warned, the canister lid launched off, nearly hitting the old turaga, out climbed a tall warrior, he was adorned in teal and red and wore the kanohi miru, mask of flight
“Hello!” He said “I’m well, truth be told I don’t really know who I am really”
“Well Lenku, this is your star!” Seshki chuckled, Lenku was too scared to move
“What’s a star?” Asked the figure “I guess that’s me then, hello I am Star!”
“You aren’t a star!” Lenku chuckled, she didn’t feel so scared of him now, after all he probably didn’t know much on how to attack anyway “The stars are in the sky” the figure raised his eye so Lenku pointed up towards one, the figure stared at it
“Don’t look too long!” Seshki said “You might lose yout eyes!”
“Eyes?” The figure asked
“Do you know anything?” Asked Lenku
“All I know is that I don’t want to be in that gold thing ever again!” the figure said, Lenku and the figure both chuckled
“I have so much to teach you!” Seshki sighed as he led the two to the village

Four sentences? I don’t want to be rude, but there are only four sentences, who are too long and too… I don’t know… rushed, that it is hard to take this small fragment serious and to consider it an actual “literature”.
Also, there are no warriors in this story.

BINGO! Made it longer, it’s still not quite finished but later on, now I am feeling lazy

It is heavily suggested in your narrative. The story is very lazily written, to the point it seems to be a sketch. I have multiple problems for me, but the biggest two are"

  1. [quote=“MistikaFan, post:1, topic:48437”]
    Lenku was too scared to move

Literary ONE line later…

She either has no character, or she has a severe case of bipolarity.

This is not how reality works. You can watch stars without being afraid of… losing your eyes!

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Unfortunately, as per the Creative Category Rules:

I am going to be closing this. In the event that @MistikaFan feels they have fully fleshed out the idea and wish to reupload, I will allow either reopening this topic with the finished version or creation of a new topic.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions